Page 23 | Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

Mollymolloy · 11/12/2022 23:22

Oh my goodness… good to see that OLD is so fruitful!!
I am quite out of practice but, had planned to DTD with MrD tonight but, had to cancel due to the weather. He seemed ok with it. However, this weekend, he looked after his and his ex partner’s dog as she went out on Friday night. He went into great detail all about her night out.
He spent today with his daughter - absolutely fine - and then was invited in by his ex wife (they divorced 7 years ago) to put up and decorate their Christmas tree in the house that they used to share together. They had a lovely afternoon with mulled wine, apparently! His daughter spent the afternoon in her room on the phone to her boyfriend. When he phoned tonight, he was a bit off and when I said that he spends a lot of time with his ex’s. He just said ‘well you weren’t here’. This all seems a bit odd to me….

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/12/2022 07:15

Mollymolloy

goodness . He’s very close with two exes then ?

I don’t know
its of course very healthy to be friendly with your ex (I’m not !) and to co parent

but the ‘you weren’t here ‘ comment is strange as indicates female company = same same

anyway I wouldn’t like that either

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 12/12/2022 08:08

5thWisdom · 11/12/2022 15:20

@NoDatingForOldMen I really appreciate that alternative perspective. All of our exchanges had been very warm and friendly up to the "if you are" reply last night. I was clear with him (despite my earlier private misgivings) that I was looking forward to meeting him.

For further context, he then went from suggesting that he'd like to come straight over last night after work, I replied that I wasn't looking for just hook ups, he said that he wasn't like other men, I joked "that's what they all say!". A well known line. I wasn't hurling insults or looking to offend, I was just teasing.

I was expecting a response along the lines of "well I'll just have to prove you wrong won't I winky emoji the coffees are on you tomorrow etc etc " or something cheeky about me in response. I certainly didn't expect him to react in such an extreme way. He clearly wasn't able to articulate why this offended him, or interested in explaining why. But then he'd never click with my sense of humour, and I'd end up walking on egg shells, afraid of offending him if he really took this to heart. The instant block based on one remark seems a bit extreme without allowing me a chance to explain, impulsive and immature. Like a child storming off in a huff instead of talking things through.

Anyway, I'm overanalysing this. I really appreciate the alternative point of view which is the value of this thread. I can be quite blunt and this has made me consider how I should tone that down before actually meeting people, for fear of being misconstrued. A lot can get lost in just messaging without verbal and visual cues.

I'm glad I didn't meet him this morning now.

I don’t think you should be hard on yourself at all - if someone’s going to be so ridiculous as to try to tell you they’re “not like other men” they deserve a slightly mocking response.

Original poster

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 12/12/2022 08:20

Yeah @5thWisdom he sounds like a right nob suggesting he come over as well as getting shirty don't give him another thought. You'll get used to people disappearing with nil notice. It's just the way the cookie crumbles on OLD.

In an ideal world you'd have so many matches and chats going on that you'd barely notice if one slid away.

OP posts:

Slothmomma · 12/12/2022 08:32

Just caught up again. Glad to see there have been some fun sexy times going on 😁 jealous? Moi? 😅

@5thWisdom I saw nothing wrong with your comment and feel he was being over sensitive or you struck a nerve. Either way no loss

@NoDatingForOldMen sorry to hear about your parents. Hopefully you'll get the support you deserve when you open up to her

Nothing much happening here. Got 2 matches I'm chatting with and one moved over to whatsapp this morning but that's about it

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 08:58

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 12/12/2022 08:08

I don’t think you should be hard on yourself at all - if someone’s going to be so ridiculous as to try to tell you they’re “not like other men” they deserve a slightly mocking response.

Show quote history

i must be in the same mindset as The Tall Guy ( great film), and if an internet stranger sent a slightly mocking response I would instantly block them

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 09:01

He spent today with his daughter - absolutely fine - and then was invited in by his ex wife (they divorced 7 years ago) to put up and decorate their Christmas tree in the house that they used to share together. They had a lovely afternoon with mulled wine

umm nope,
I had a couple of date last year with a woman who still went to the cinema and antique shopping with her exHushand , it was wayyy to weird.
no, just no

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 12/12/2022 09:39

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 08:58

i must be in the same mindset as The Tall Guy ( great film), and if an internet stranger sent a slightly mocking response I would instantly block them

Show quote history

What, after saying “I’m not like other guys”? Totally cringe statement in the first place that hardly warrants a response at all.

5thWisdom · 12/12/2022 10:09

I've matched this morning with a handsome man who says he's looking for a cuckold relationship and is exploring Fin Dom at the moment.

Is this all about sex? I'm so naive. He says he's looking for a relationship. He's 6 years younger.

Avoid? Engage? I've no idea any more.

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 10:15

5thWisdom · 12/12/2022 10:09

I've matched this morning with a handsome man who says he's looking for a cuckold relationship and is exploring Fin Dom at the moment.

Is this all about sex? I'm so naive. He says he's looking for a relationship. He's 6 years younger.

Avoid? Engage? I've no idea any more.

Yes FemDom is all about Female Domination & cuckold kinda comes from the kink world of hot wives & bulls, probably best to avoid

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 10:18

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 12/12/2022 09:39

What, after saying “I’m not like other guys”? Totally cringe statement in the first place that hardly warrants a response at all.

Show quote history

Yes, absolutely, I would not accept that from any internet stranger male or female, dating app or FB or insta or whatever, sarcastic comments from strangers get instantly blocked

5thWisdom · 12/12/2022 10:18

Hot wives and bulls? Hmmm.

I can see that's he's liked me on Bumble (correcting my earlier post - not actually matched him yet) and there's absolutely nothing in my profile to suggest I'm looking for anything remotely in this area.

It's a funny old business.

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 10:29

@5thWisdom

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a30547071/cuckold/

DisappearingHelen · 12/12/2022 10:50

Actually Fin Dom is about financial dominance. It’s a tricky dynamic and one to be careful of even if you’re into it

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 10:57

DisappearingHelen · 12/12/2022 10:50

Actually Fin Dom is about financial dominance. It’s a tricky dynamic and one to be careful of even if you’re into it

You are absolutely correct, I just read cockold relationship and jumped to Fem Dom.

Definitelycross · 12/12/2022 10:57

I had a guy on Bumble that wanted to be dominated.

He kept persevering. I was on the brink of asking him to clean the house top to bottom with an occasional telling off. Win Win. I am joking by the way.

I also had a match on Bumble with someone saying he liked to 'walk the Cat' in his spare time. I had no clue at all. But apparently that means spanking. He kept messaging asking if I'd been naughty or good.

I'd rather the one who'd clean my house 🤷‍♀️

As a victim of financial abuse I'd steer well clear of Fin-Dom. especially in a new relationship. The cuckold thing is a fantasy with a lot of men but very few would ever do it. If it's just in your heads and used as part of your own sex life I can get that.

happyhearts · 12/12/2022 11:05

Hi Everyone,
Been lurking for ages but never have anything to report so just live vicariously through you all.
Anyway, after numerous pointless coffee dates finally had a date with someone totally gorgeous and also very nice!
But here is my dilemma, I live in a city and he lives half an hour away in the country. He came to see me yesterday although I had offered to meet half way.
Date two planned and he has said he will come over here again, I suggested I go his way or half way but tbf there is more to do by me.
But how do I end the night? I feel bad for him to drive home but I also wouldn't ask someone back to mine after the first proper date and also my 16 year old is here full time so tricky!
He won't be expecting to stay will he? (I mean I wouldn't really mind but ya know!😂) Do I just walk him back to his car and hope for a snog?? Help!!!

Definitelycross · 12/12/2022 11:14

happyhearts · 12/12/2022 11:05

Hi Everyone,
Been lurking for ages but never have anything to report so just live vicariously through you all.
Anyway, after numerous pointless coffee dates finally had a date with someone totally gorgeous and also very nice!
But here is my dilemma, I live in a city and he lives half an hour away in the country. He came to see me yesterday although I had offered to meet half way.
Date two planned and he has said he will come over here again, I suggested I go his way or half way but tbf there is more to do by me.
But how do I end the night? I feel bad for him to drive home but I also wouldn't ask someone back to mine after the first proper date and also my 16 year old is here full time so tricky!
He won't be expecting to stay will he? (I mean I wouldn't really mind but ya know!😂) Do I just walk him back to his car and hope for a snog?? Help!!!

Hi 👋

I live about the same difference from MrG. I suggested we went out for dinner but I also asked if he'd be ok getting home after?

He said he wouldn't drink so that was fine.

If he's making the suggestions I'd let him sort it out. The reason I'm saying this as I'm one of life's sorter-outer. It's only recently that I've decided they're grown ups and can sort things out for themself. Especially if they've suggested it. This is all aspects of my life by the way.

A good passionate snog will let you know if you're compatible too.

And if you are - Air BnB - that's what I did when my son was younger.

NoDatingForOldMen · 12/12/2022 11:23

Definitelycross · 12/12/2022 10:57

I had a guy on Bumble that wanted to be dominated.

He kept persevering. I was on the brink of asking him to clean the house top to bottom with an occasional telling off. Win Win. I am joking by the way.

I also had a match on Bumble with someone saying he liked to 'walk the Cat' in his spare time. I had no clue at all. But apparently that means spanking. He kept messaging asking if I'd been naughty or good.

I'd rather the one who'd clean my house 🤷‍♀️

As a victim of financial abuse I'd steer well clear of Fin-Dom. especially in a new relationship. The cuckold thing is a fantasy with a lot of men but very few would ever do it. If it's just in your heads and used as part of your own sex life I can get that.

Have a poke around (no pun intended), this site and let me know what you think.

www.evolvingyourman.com

Mila14 · 12/12/2022 12:32

OLDstolemybrain · 11/12/2022 18:25

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss that sounds tremendous! What a lovely update!

@Definitelycross hope the second date goes well 🤞🏻

@NoDatingForOldMen I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. I hope MrsNoShow understands x

I had MrFootball round this afternoon while my Mum had the DC. To say I rode him like Red Rum would be an understatement 🤣 We then ordered a pizza and cuddled on the sofa watching a film. A snatched 4 hours but lovely all the same. I think I’m rather smitten……🫣

I’m loving your updates with Mr football… just great !

happyhearts · 12/12/2022 13:36

@Definitelycross thank you!! Yes I think I'm the same want to be helpful and make sure everyone is ok. But I think he does go out here a lot as it would be his nearest town and guess he always has to work it out. I think I'll say what you said something like "oh I'm just worried about you getting home?" and see what he says?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/12/2022 15:43

5thWisdom

that’s all a bit much for a Monday morning !!!!

Definitelycross · 12/12/2022 15:54

Lots of crossed wires and awful weather conditions mean that Date 2 didn't happen.
But tomorrow instead 🥰

Definitelycross · 12/12/2022 15:55

happyhearts · 12/12/2022 13:36

@Definitelycross thank you!! Yes I think I'm the same want to be helpful and make sure everyone is ok. But I think he does go out here a lot as it would be his nearest town and guess he always has to work it out. I think I'll say what you said something like "oh I'm just worried about you getting home?" and see what he says?

It's so hard to step out of that role though

5thWisdom · 12/12/2022 16:00

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/12/2022 15:43

5thWisdom

that’s all a bit much for a Monday morning !!!!

😆😆😆 Indeed! I swiped left!

6 or so interesting matches today, started the conversation, no replies. I'm too impatient 🙄