Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

New thread!

Fifthie…”looking for that busty blonde”? 🤮…what a twat

My first interaction on OLD I asked a guy what he was into - meaning hobbies etc.

His answer - I like breasts on the large side.

I said no I meant hobbies.

His reply - 😂😂 why? Are yours big?

🙄🙄🙄🙄

😂😂😂🤮

That's gross.

In a way though it makes it a whole lot simpler when they're up front and blatant about it. Saves valuable time.

I don't think this is relevant @Mila14 but just in case it is I am sharing.

Your phrase we both thought we would die of sadness reminded me of the time I split from the one boyfriend I had really loved and 'got me' the split was due to his dark side, his drug/alcohol use and mismatched lifestyles (I was starting out as a jet set career girl he was partying). I honestly thought I'd never stop crying.

A few years later after I'd moved to London and dated a load of guys that didn't compare in beauty, humour, beauty, cleverness etc we reconnected due to a chance meeting at a festival. It was brill. We ended up marrying and he is now my bad XH father to my three damaged kids.

That dark side turned into dire depressive (and narcissistic i now realise) mental health and his drinking never stopped. He restarted recreational drugs when he fell in with new crowd.
My deep love for him helped me not see how crap he was. Twenty years later after reconnecting I binned him after one terrible night where he brutally attacked our weedy 15 son.

Soooooo. I've got no idea what lessons are to be learned.

I often say to blokes on OLD who say 'how are you finding this dating malarkey?' that I love it hugely and if only it had been invented in 1998 I might have found a better candidate husband/partner than my now XH offered.

Oncey…thankfully it is not that bad. He has a great family, he is extraordinarily successful in his career and is a runner, so super fit. But there is moody side and we don’t communicate well when that’s on. He’s in his 50s , not a moody preppie boy out of Uni !He is a brilliant dad too, which I admire massively. His DC are a testament to his hard work at raising them.
There are things we need to fix but I am not anxious about it and enjoying the ride. Yes, he’s the love of my life but if things aren’t right I am ok this time to just let him go. No major drama

Mila14

i hope it works out
god knows what will happen
but we are older and hopefully wiser

Thanks Worsy, but if it doesn’t…I will be back OLD! That is for sure. I’m not going to be crying or feeling that bad anymore. I’m half in and half out on this second chance. It feels quite different now. I love him but it’s not how it was before. I guess something got lost. But I hope new things will be gained as this is a new time in our lives.

Definitelycross

god
sometimes I think I stay in my
often unfulfilling FWB because I can’t face this shite again

I did used to say to only OLD when pissed and mildly horny as only them can you handle this shit

How’s it going with Balkan Worsy?

I think you've got it spot on there, @Thisisworsethananticpated 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm in London today. Hopefully the calibre of Tinder-men is higher! Although I'm only there for the day, I don't mind long distance as I've no plans to live with a man and enjoy my own space.

What's a modern day Viking?! I'm coming across a few of those!!

Mila14

i don’t really want to enter 2023 in this up down and on and off cycle
I’m super fond of him , but it’s a year now !
and the set up makes me anxious

so we shall see

5thWisdom

viking 😂
I reckon it means they have a beard and a top knot

This is a hard one Worsy because you are very fond of him. Are there any possible “tweaks” to your arrangement so you feel safer ?. Time keeps ticking and you are still together after a year !! Somethings are undeniable
I really hope you can get a positive chat about your feelings and you feel less anxious and happier 😘

😂😂😂

That’s a lousy response from him but am crying with laughter all the same..🤣

Got back in touch with an ex - well we’d had a massive row and only been dating 3 weeks 🤦‍♀️😩 He’s gone back online and got a date tomorrow. I had a week pause and looked him up again. We’ve both said we are sorry for what we both did but he still wants to do this date. I feel a bit shit about this but he insists it would be rude to cancel the other. I said play that one out first and get back in touch when it falls apart. He feels ‘hurt’ by me he says and yet the kinks he requested were beyond my scope - drugs with sex and pegging - and he’d said sorry there. Not sure all round. I’ve left it for now but still am upset. I hate dating. I think I might stop. My heart can’t cope.

@Definitelycross sorry, the laughing was with regards the ‘big breasts’ I’m fairly well endowed so that rang a chord…

@Thisisworsethananticpated I totally understand the anxiety. I have decided literally this week that I will no longer tolerate set ups that make the anxiety are. Means I have to trust I am able to WALK AWAY and it’s very very hard. 😔

Mila14

90% of our issues are down to WhatsApp communications
we text all day and it inevitably something gets misunderstood
then he goes quiet
and I get upset

so , as with diets I’m cutting the WhatsApp
as we are both bored and lonely but it’s not working ! And causes stress for me anyway

let’s see …..

Boom80

yeah with your one there really is a plethora of anxiety inducing things (from reading anyway )

the other date would kill me on its own

so it’s kind of natural you feel anxious

@Thisisworsethananticpated He believes he’s entitled because I hurt him. I don’t know. I dont think it’s worth dwelling over but am obviously sad as i made the move to seek him back out. Maybe I should have anticipated. On the one hand he tells me we are starting over today yet on the other he will continue with another date and imply In being unreasonable. The rules of dating world don’t seem apply to me. If I want to work with a person I simply say end of to others for a period. In my mind that’s starting over but clearly I’m more cut and dry and he is options open. I deduce I’m not the priority so am stepping away.

Dating isn’t for me. I will focus on my work for the next 5 and get out of this country.

Boom , it’s totally ok not go along with someone’s kinks. Also he’s dating someone else and keeping you as a second dish? If he needs to do this date that means you are not that worthy for him. I would personally ditch him. Regroup and decide what kind of guy you want to meet

Worsy… don’t WhatsApp so much. I understand you feel lonely and him too. Let him reach out to you woman