Partner wants me to cash in my pensions so he can stop work ??

[Lizzie2006]

My partner wants me to cash in my pensions, so that he can stop working. He has no pension provision and I have a couple, having paid in since I started work at 16 (I'm nearly 60). We are not married - he says if I cash in my pensions, then he'll marry me. We have joint savings, but he won't let me touch them. Instead, he wants my pension money to enable him to retire, marry me .............. is that right?

Honestly OP, you have worked for 44 years and honestly think this is a goer?

Really?

"I have NO money but I will marry you if you cash in your pensions of 44 years"

Really?

I would seriously be concerned for the mental capacity of someone who would consider doing this.

I would think that person needed protection from that man and themself.

You must be very vulnerable.

Please call Womens aid for support.

He is attempting to financially abuse you via Coercive control.

This is a crime.

Walk into ANY police station and ask to speak to someone about Coercive control and explain what he is asking you to do.

Let them help you, before you do something that will blow up your future security.

My apologies Lizzie. I missed your first update, & have been fooled by a couple of fake threads recently. So was finding the level of entitlement & financial abuse you are tolerating hard to take on board.

This man must have been pushing your buttons for a long time, for you to even allow him under your roof after the way he has been treating you. I hope you get all the support & help you need to get rid of him.

Said by somebody who has clearly never been in an abusive relationship. Vile.

Said by someone who made a wrong assumption, & who has apologised for doing so, @TheFormidableMrsC

Said by someone subject to ACE & prolonged CSA within her birth family, followed by a 20 year coercively controlling, financially & emotionally abusive marriage.

Sometimes, real life doesn't follow the false narrative constructed around random strangers on the net, by other random strangers on the net.

Why won't he let you touch the joint savings - how come you can't access them without his say-so? Are they actually in a joint account, or an account in his sole name?

How much money are we talking about? Is it worth losing? Because you really need to kick this blackmailer out of your home and life as soon as possible, and I suspect that if he gets wind of it before you can access your half of the savings, that money will disappear in a flash.

And yes, as a pp suggested - make sure your will is watertight and up to date.

Not allowing you to touch YOUR money is financial abuse and more proof of Coercive control, a crime.

Get copies of those accounts as proof.

Take your part of the money out of joint savings and boot him. Hes manipulative and controlling.

If you do this after all the advice tbh I would have v little sympathy. If you feel you can't say no to him contact women's aid.
He is out to rob you blind.. as soon as you hand over the money he will want more and be off as soon as you run out

Absolutely not! Who the hell does he think he is?!

Make him an ex partner please

pronto

Next time that he goes out change the locks.