Partner wants me to cash in my pensions so he can stop work ??

[Lizzie2006]

My partner wants me to cash in my pensions, so that he can stop working. He has no pension provision and I have a couple, having paid in since I started work at 16 (I'm nearly 60). We are not married - he says if I cash in my pensions, then he'll marry me. We have joint savings, but he won't let me touch them. Instead, he wants my pension money to enable him to retire, marry me .............. is that right?

Please do not do this. It makes no sense if you have joint savings. Sounds like he wants you to be as financially insecure as he is. Please move your share of the joint savings to somewhere he can’t touch them as he sounds bad with money and manipulative.

This has to be a joke.

Long time since Ive heard anything so ridiculous

Don't marry him either!

He isn't even a husband! So he will only marry you if you cash them in...yep so once the money is there being married means he can lay claim to your hard earned pension if you divorce. You surely at 60 can't be this naive to be even considering

Don’t do it.

Speak to womens aid about the joint savings.

He is trying to take advantage of you
If you feel coerced or bullied in any way, stall by asking him to book the wedding.

Wants you to give up your financial security so he doesn’t have to bother with work and is willing to emotionally blackmail you with the promise of marriage to coerce you to do along with it? Yeah he sounds like a real keeper 🤨.

Ditch him and give yourself a chance of enjoying your retirement outside of this controlling relationship.

I want you to cash in your pensions so I can stop work too. Any chance?

Of course, I’m being ridiculous. But he started it.

This can't be real surely? I've some stupid things on here but this really does take the fucking biscuit.

NO. Invest in a “goodbye”
card!

Are you mad?

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Surely you don't have to ask?? If he was going to marry you he'd have already done it. Don't cash your pensions in for this absolute CF.

Pension provision and how and when you both retire is an important discussion that’s needed in a relationship, but it’s a discussion not a demand.

How old is he? It does sound as if he wants to get his hands on your money that he currently has no right to. Don’t marry him. Be careful of those joint savings.

Cocklodger alert.
Take your half of the joint savings and get rid. Your pensions are for you, not for him. Do not let him leech off you.

‘For better, for worse, me richer, you poorer…’

Don't marry him and don't cash in your pensions.

Good grief NO !!

Get your savings into an account in your own name too asap !

Don't give him a damn thing ! It's not your responsibility to be his retirement fund ffs !

And whatever you do, don't marry him ! He's only willing to even consider marrying you if you PAY him for it ffs ! (And then he'd have a legal claim to 1/2 your damn pension !!)

He will marry you if you cash in your pensions? He's having a laugh.

Take your share of the joint savings and get out of there.

Sure, do it. What could possibly go wrong? 🫤

Take your pension, and your half of the savings and run for them there hills. Fast.

I hope you posted so that he can see the replies and that you are with 100% of people saying NO.

Eerrr absolutely not ,it’s a no brainer! Why do you want to marry this person?
What does he have to offer?
Why don’t you have access to your joint savings?

Tell him you need him to transfer your share of the savings to you first.
Then run.

🚩 🚩 🚩 Anyone who puts conditions on a proposal isn’t a catch. Even if he does marry you, he’ll run off with that money ASAP. Don’t do it as that’s your security. Tough shit for him that he didn’t make provision for his future.

So let me get this straight. you have been sensible, gone without things over the past 44 years to pay money into a pension so that in your old age you were financially secure. Knobhead boyfriend, who clearly hasnt done any of these things, dangles the carrot of marriage in return for completely clearing out your savings. well isnt he a catch!! what will YOU live on in your old age if you have given him all the money? stop with the joint savings now and move half of it to your account. No one, but no one, ties in financial transactions like this to marriage. He is fleecing you. If he was the last man on earth you shouldnt marry him. he is calculating and manipulating.