BF is insecure and needy - can it work?

[sarahlouis]

He adores me and I genuinely believe that he’d do anything for me, as he’s made me his number one priority above everything else in his life. But he is so needy and gets jealous over the slightest thing.

Last night we went out with my friend and her partner for a meal. We’d all had a few drinks and were joking around and having banter. The subject somehow turned to body hair and my friend was pointing out that her partner has lots of chest hair and that he shaves it. I said that there’s no need to shave his chest, and added that I like a man with chest hair. My bf gave me the daggers and it caused a huge argument when we got back to my place. He was accusing me of fancying my friends partner which is not the case at all. My bf has chest hair so I didn't see what the issue was.

Other examples include him getting jealous of me speaking to other men at work, and him asking whether they’re hitting on me.

He came to my house the other day and there was a bowl with 2 forks on the coffee table and he was questioning why there was 2. I said you think I’ve had someone here don’t you? He completely denied it but I just knew.

I have a demanding job and a young child. He says he feels like a weekend boyfriend but I can’t do anything about that.

Its such a shame cos he can be so lovely and supportive. I just feel like his behaviour is too needy.

Any advice?

Advice it to end the relationship.

Dump the Klingon

No no no end this now. The accusations will.get more and more outrageous until you will be questioned if you even breathe. Please don't put yourself and your child through this.
Needy +insecure= abusive controlling gaslighter

I never what this to affect my child. We’ve been together for 2 years and she knows him and likes having him around. When things are good, they’re so good. But when it’s like this, it’s absolutely awful.

See those hills over there? Run for them and don’t look back.

Get rid. I'm serious. This is not good. Red flags all over the shop.

He sounds awful. Run away now before he gets even worse.

End it. This stuff generally only gets worse not better.

You and your child are better off without him in your life.

He's textbook abuser . You'll become a shell of yourself eventually. He's not a nice man . You'll be treading on eggshells, do you really want your future looking like that ?

When things are good, they’re so good. But when it’s like this, it’s absolutely awful

I've seen it said so often on here, that if abusive people were awful all the time, no-one would get into a relationship with them. And the other thing that gets said a lot is, you are modelling relationships to your child. She'll be absorbing her mother running around and trying to keep this bloke happy and internalise that this is what women have to do.

This is how the trap you, the highs are so good but the lows are horrendous! Please OP this will not get better. This isn't about mental health, he is controlling

There's red flags galore here. Dump him before your child ends up thinking that this behaviour is normal. his behaviour is abusive and don't kid yourself that this won't affect your child when he starts using them as a way to keep tabs on you.

He should be like a weekend bf at this point. You have a child and can't have relationships like a single woman.

When things are good, they’re so good. But when it’s like this, it’s absolutely awful

Well yeah... that's how the cycle of abuse works to get you stuck. You become addicted to chasing the highs. That's why toxic relationships are do hard to break out of.

Good relationships are not a rollercoaster. They are consistently peaceful, consistently secure.

who would even notice two forks - really? he must be constantly on the look out .

I find your posts quite frightening. He doesn't adore you. He wants to control you. You need to get him out of your life as soon as you can. Tell him something bland like not having enough time or concentrating on your career or anything really. I'd call him to tell him because I don't think that he will take it well. Then block him on everything. Be careful what you post on social media. Beef up your home security and consider one of those camera things for the door. Make sure to give instructions to the school or nursery that nobody else is to pick up your child.

Wouldn't be worth the hassle for me. But I'm long term and single and won't compromise on anything I would rather remain single than deal with this nonsense. So I'm not a good person to advise here 🤣🤣

Huge red flag. I would end it.

Sorry long term single that should say.

Of course things are good sometimes: if they were awful permanently you’d leave.

Which is exactly what you should do anyway. You need to fuck this abusive cock off straightaway.

He's not insecure and needy he's a jealous controlling twat. It will only get worse.
Escape now

He’ll do anything for you - except address his rampant insecurity and jealousy issues.

All of these replies are so accurate. How have I let myself fall so deep into this mess?

Get rid, it will only escalate.

You are not so deep, if you don't live together they are easier to get rid of, make sure he has no stuff left at your place or he will find reasons to come round.

I have to say that I read threads like this and think single life is actually pretty good. At least I don't have to deal with problems like this.