Dating a gorgeous man

[Dateshate]

I’m going on a date with a very, very good looking man. Met him on Bumble. I am not a shallow person and understand that looks are certainly not everything - looks are fleeting. I’m interested in the connection. He seems very keen and has said how he thinks I’m so good looking and lovely, that he will be shy around me - and sorry if he is! He seems genuine and nice. He’s talked about how connection is more important than looks and yes people do comment on how he looks but he doesn’t take it seriously and it doesn’t matter.

Thing is - he is really that good looking! And I’m nervous. I’ve put on weight lately and I don’t feel very good. I’m already convinced he won’t fancy me. And I’ve had a horrible time on online dating lately.

Any words of wisdom?

Glad that the date went well. He sounds lovely and not a player.
Not all men want to date gym bunnies as frankly, most women aren't!
Relax, take it slowly and see where it goes.
I have dated good looking men and they're not really much different from average looking men. I'm ok looking but not gorgeous but am confident and I think, good company. Liking yourself is incredibly attractive to others.
Fingers crossed for you.

I believe there's some truth to the fact that some handsome men might themselves be tired of being chased for their looks and in search of a deeper connection. Also, desire works differently from what we are obsessively induced to believe - I for one am rarely attracted to conventionally good-looking men, I basically need to sniff rather than look at. If I had to give flirting advice I would say: if is he very handsome make him feel very clever and deep; if he is very clever make him feel hot. Good luck!

Trust me, he won't look anything like his photos.

There are two types of attractiveness: 1. Objective attractiveness and 2. Perceived attractiveness. The first one is genetic and blessed at birth which you can do nothing about and you have not done anything to achieve this (barring extensive plastic surgery lol). The second one is all about how you carry yourself, dress, interact with others, charisma, confidence and kindness- this you can do everything about. People blessed by number 1 can often ruin this by having shitty personalities and though they may attract a lot of attention initially, soon that attention fades if they are insincere, mean, unkind, rude and arrogant. People who cultivate number 2 can be INCREDIBLY attractive and Ive seen people like this get massive amounts of attention and people clamoring to date them even though they dont have much of number 1 naturally. You cannot change the cards you were dealt at birth but you absolutely can use them to the best of your ability. Looking after yourself, keeping fit, wearing stylish clothes, making the most of yourself and oozing confidence and friendliness will all make people perceive you as a very attractive person. Compare this to someone who fits number 1 category but has chronically low self esteem, is needy, wont accept compliments and puts themselves down all the time. Therefore, being attractive is so much more about how you are in your own skin than how you physically look. There are endless possibilities you can use to have people perceive you as devastatingly attractive even if you dont fit the classic number 1 category!

Well she's met him now

So what went wrong?

I think i would find any relationship whose start / opening interactions emphasised physical good looks (by both parties about the above) to be a bit of a red flag to be honest.

You're assuming your taste in women is his taste in women. You're not dating you, he is. Maybe he likes big butt's and he cannot lie

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I recall a dear friend telling myself and another friend over coffee about how unbelievably gorgeous her new chap was.

Following weekend we met him.

The other friend and I glanced at each other but then had to look away. Suffice to say…. We certainly didn’t think he was gorgeous!! (Lovely guy!)

I'm dating a fairly conventionally attractive guy from OLD. Was exactly like his pics. I've been told often I'm like mine too. Besides, she's met this guy several times now. However, I have also met guys using painfully out of date pics, but there are genuine people out there.

@Feef83 😂

Very true though, be a boring world if we all liked the same thing.

No words of wisdom apart from my ex was and still is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life. Including celeb crushes. But he's a massive (please insert every bad word you have ever known) and made my life a living hell. I think he got away with so much shit because he looks like a god. I do hope you enjoy your date though 😆

Haha sounds like my ex-husband. He was so beautiful (until he opened his mouth).

My ex too he was so handsome, he was gaslighting lunatic that lives in his own fake world. He's fat now though:) This is a long time ago ex so there's no bitterness, I doubt he has the sea of women he did have to play his hideous games with.

Hah, my ex lost his looks a bit and got fatter after we split as well. He did make another few kids with various unsuspecting women afterwards but yes, I doubt women throw themselves at him as before though 😂

It’s very strange. I was at a party years ago and saw this man as I walked in who I thought was the most stunning looking man I had ever met. I really thought he was just the most handsome man ever - I was stunned. We started talking and I was very relaxed because I never, ever thought there was any chance of anything so when he asked to meet up again I thought it was just because he was new to the city, etc, etc. We hung out a lot and I stopped seeing his looks as he became a friend and I never really thought about him that way. It was only after a couple of months he said something and I realised.

Funny really. I liked someone else at the time who was not handsome but very intelligent.

you're absolutely not being unreasonable but you'll probably get better advice if you start your own thread here. Good luck.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships

The only thing I would add is that presumably you’re only seeing him and no one else, you may or may not have had a conversation about what you are both looking for. I would ask him whether he’s talking to anyone else currently or not. Because apparently that’s what you young people do nowadays - we’re not dating, we’re just talking.

I genuinely hope it continues to go well, not all men on dating sites are complete arseholes just I’ve found a high percentage are. You may have got lucky. Think I’m a bit tainted but I shall not give up. I’m getting better at spotting the players instantly it’s quite interesting life lessons really although it’s made me feel like shit on more than one occasion.

Please come back and let us know if he lived up to his profile pic 🙂

My friend went out with a ridiculously good looking man for a couple of dates, to cut a long story short, he ended up speaking on the ‘phone to her mum. When she next saw her, mum said “How was your date darling? He sounded as though he must be very good looking”
This was her way of saying that he was as thick as a friars waistline or boring - and not to be drawn in by good looks. Still makes me chuckle.

Depends how rich the man is!

Just go for it. He could be lovely, could be boring, who knows? Life's short, so take a chance.
My husband is 7 years younger than me, slim & nice looking. I'm starting to look my age & I'm quite fat. But I also know I'm funny & warm & intelligent. And I know that he loves me. Together nearly 26 years now.

This