Dating a gorgeous man

[Dateshate]

I’m going on a date with a very, very good looking man. Met him on Bumble. I am not a shallow person and understand that looks are certainly not everything - looks are fleeting. I’m interested in the connection. He seems very keen and has said how he thinks I’m so good looking and lovely, that he will be shy around me - and sorry if he is! He seems genuine and nice. He’s talked about how connection is more important than looks and yes people do comment on how he looks but he doesn’t take it seriously and it doesn’t matter.

Thing is - he is really that good looking! And I’m nervous. I’ve put on weight lately and I don’t feel very good. I’m already convinced he won’t fancy me. And I’ve had a horrible time on online dating lately.

Any words of wisdom?

His looks tell you nothing about who he is. They are an accidental thing given him by nature. Observe his character over time

"'Very few men punch below their weight' - this is utter tripe."
It is actually true that the vast vast majority of men will go for looks / youth because (i) looks = ego boost and make them immediately think of sex which is 99% of all they want anyway (ii) youth = easy to convince/impress for long enough to have sex with.
Job done.
Most men will go for this and are really not interested in women beyond this.

I was with a stunning man for seven years…I was like the cat who got the cream at first. He knew he was good looking but it didn’t seem to affect him and he wasn’t a player at all - very far from it. I think we expect less good looking men to be grateful and treat us better but it’s often the opposite.

I was good looking too and a size 8 but he preferred larger women anyway. We had a connection and such a laugh that we’d never have had with anyone else.

I'd be very wary of a man who, after one date, was murmuring about you being 'the one' and right for him (perhaps) but taking it slowly. Normal people don't usually talk like - and I'd run a mile if some bloke told me that after a few hours.

That's far too quick and although he may have meant it as a compliment, it comes over as him flattering you and trying to wind you in, (regardless of how you might have felt after the date.)

It's over a week ago @Dateshate . Any reason why you've never come back with more news if it was so wonderful?

You really need to work on your body image.and the worth you put on thinness or society’s acceptable ideals. It’s harming for you and everyone reallly

He said he knows it’s very early stages, but he feels like he could really be with me, and he wants to date slowly and seriously, and see where this can go. He said I’m stunning, even better looking than my photos, and I seem to have many of the qualities he is looking for - fun, kind, values etc. He said he’s looking to settle down, he wants a strong emotional connection with his partner

You said it's too good to be true.

Yep, I agree 😂100%!

I thought the same about my now husband. I met him at work, so many women fancied him and he didn’t notice (still doesn’t). I had recently come out of a relationship with an arse who constantly put me down.

When he asked me out I was convinced it was for a bet or something I was feeling that crap about myself, and I nearly chickened out. I spent a good amount of the first month or so worrying about what people thought when they saw us together (it’s so sad 😞)

But here we are, 12 years later, married with a 7 month old baby. I’ve never had a relationship as brilliant as this one, we laugh so much and he is my best friend. I’m going through breast cancer treatment at the moment and feel terrible, half a boob, hair no doubt about to fall out, spend most days in tears yet he still tells me I’m beautiful and brave. There are nice ones out there that also happen to be handsome ❤️ I hope you’ve found one.

I'm going to be honest OP, he sounds like he's love bombing you.

Keep your wits about you and don't be bamboozled by his looks and flattery.

We really need an update!

Thanks for all the recent posts. I did update at the time. I don't have anything else to add other than we are still dating and it's been nice.

I agree with Badger.

It sounds as if he knows he's good looking and is trying to wind you in, promising too much too soon, so you will be bowled over.

Be keen to know his dating/relationship history.

Looks aside, why is such an attractive man still unattached?
You say you are 'old' and he's a couple of years older, so I'd be wondering why he's single.

“Very few men punch below their weight”. Not really true. And attractiveness - particularly for women - is surprisingly subjective. See the number of women who consider say Benedict Cumberpatch or Matt Smith extremely attractive, while other women would rate them a 3 or 4.

LucyLucilleLocket He was married and was with that partner for 10 years. That ended 2 years ago. He's had a few short term relationships since then. He is looking to find someone to couple up with.

He sounds lovely. So do you OP - glad it's working out for you. Enjoy - I met my now husband of over 25 years at this time of year. Lovely dating in the run up to Christmas.

sorry i missed your question op. my rules on dating were very much not believing something until it happens and if it's too good to be true it probably is.
i found any genuine man would take time to reveal himself unless he had a different agenda. perhaps if i was a supermodel the situation may have been different but i am not.

there are still good men out there. i met dh on bumble.

best advice i can give is keep listening to your instinct and look after yourself. wish you well.

fgs server errors, post didn't show and then all three showed.

i will report first two.

Happy for you, OP. Try to relax and enjoy it. Best of luck!

OP my ex-husband was extremely good-looking (ex-model) and absolutely everyone commented on how good-looking he was, even my boss at the time. Wayyyy out of my league looks-wise. He was such an idiot though that after awhile I completely stopped seeing his good looks and just prayed he wouldn't open his mouth to embarrass me in front of my colleagues/anyone 😬I couldn't have ven bring myself to be attracted to him physically anymore. Looks aren't everything especially for a man 👨🏽

Only good thing was that our daughter inherited his looks 😂

Some really good looking people are also lovely people.

Some mingers can be absolute ratbags.

Glad you're having a good time, OP.

Great news 🥳

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