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Inheritance to new girlfriend over DD

164 replies

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:11

I just can't get over that a man who suddenly becomes in a position to buy a property instead of renting, due to a family inheritance would priortise a new girlfriend that he has known for around a month instead of his own young daughter.

This is exactly what my brother in law has done. Surely it is his duty as a father to provide a home for his child and not some latest piece he has met off Tinder

He split up from the mother of his child a few months previous. They both lived in a rented property, so he moved out and rented somewhere else to live on his own.

His own family home was sold due to inheritance reasons, and the money was split between 3 siblings. Surely any sane normal man would see this as an opportunity to give his child some stability?

his ex partner now lives in a rough council estate with a new partner and his dd, who he sees twice a month.

This woman that he had known literally for 5 weeks, got to decide where the house should be and what kind of property she wanted.

Just to be clear she never contributed to the deposit on the house and my brother in law pays the mortgage, but her name is on the title deeds.

Tell me people, are these now the normal actions of a decent loving father in 2022?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/11/2022 00:16

You think he around buy a house for his ex and her live in boyfriend rather than himself and his own girlfriend? Do you think referring to a woman who’s done nothing wrong as “a piece” is remotely acceptable? Since when could you purchase a house in 5 weeks?

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 10/11/2022 00:16

How did he get to choose, view and complete a house purchase within a month?

saleorbouy · 10/11/2022 00:17

He is a fool, especially if his latest flame is on the deeds.

JennyJungle · 10/11/2022 00:19

You wanted him to buy a house for his ex to live in?

FrangipaniBlue · 10/11/2022 00:22

If he is in England then he legally has to provide for children under 18.

Even if he made a will leaving it all to the girlfriend, the mum of his DC could contest it and would win.

It's one of the very few ways in which a will can be contested in England.

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:22

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 10/11/2022 00:16

How did he get to choose, view and complete a house purchase within a month?

Well it took longer than a month for the house search/sell to be finalised, but he had only known this new woman 5 weeks when he decided or rather she decided that they were buying the house together or more to the point she would be deciding on all the finer details with his money.

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 10/11/2022 00:22

Sorry ignore he I'm tired and misread your OP as asking about provision in HIS will - I'll shut up now!!

Trez1510 · 10/11/2022 00:23

You think he should have bought a house for his daughter in which his ex and her new 'piece' should live rent free?

Maybe the BiL's new 'piece' is carrying his child too, hence the name on the deeds etc.

Personally, I think it's none of your business. Perhaps you could persuade your husband to use his share of the inheritance to better his niece's circumstances if you're really so distressed by this?

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:26

FrangipaniBlue · 10/11/2022 00:22

If he is in England then he legally has to provide for children under 18.

Even if he made a will leaving it all to the girlfriend, the mum of his DC could contest it and would win.

It's one of the very few ways in which a will can be contested in England.

Ah that's interesting. We are actually in Scotland, however I wonder if that is why this new house the moving in etc was kept off social media. I have a sneaky suspicion his ex thinks he has rented this new property and not bought it.

OP posts:
PoundShopPrincess · 10/11/2022 00:29

Nobody would think he should stay in rented accommodation whilst buying a house for his ex and her new bf.
As a PP said, nothing to stop you telling your DH to buy a house for his niece. He could buy one in a nicer area and rent it to his ex-SIL below market rate. Investment property for your DH. Better home for your niece. Win/win.

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:32

JennyJungle · 10/11/2022 00:19

You wanted him to buy a house for his ex to live in?

No I expected him to buy a house for HIMSELF to live in, so his daughter had somewhere to stay when he had access and not include someone he was not in a proper relationship at the time of the inheritance on the title deeds.

OP posts:
unfortunateevents · 10/11/2022 00:33

But he HAS bought a house and his daughter does now have somewhere nice to stay when she spends time with him? The issue of whether he should have included his new girlfriend on the deeds is really none of your business.

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:35

unfortunateevents · 10/11/2022 00:33

But he HAS bought a house and his daughter does now have somewhere nice to stay when she spends time with him? The issue of whether he should have included his new girlfriend on the deeds is really none of your business.

Yes but I don't think it is morally right.

OP posts:
BadNomad · 10/11/2022 00:50

But why are you so annoyed about him moving in with a woman after a hot minute when the child's mother has done the same thing? Is the child not allowed to stay in his new house or something?

unfortunateevents · 10/11/2022 00:52

But what do you think would be the morally right thing to do then? Should he have given half of the inheritance to his ex so she could buy a property to live in with her new partner and his daughter? Is that really a realistic scenario?

TattoedLady · 10/11/2022 00:56

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:35

Yes but I don't think it is morally right.

It's not a moral transaction though is it, it's a legal one.

onlythreenow · 10/11/2022 00:58

No I expected him to buy a house for HIMSELF to live in, so his daughter had somewhere to stay when he had access and not include someone he was not in a proper relationship at the time of the inheritance on the title deeds.

But he has bought a house for HIMSELF to live in. Whether his partner's name is on the deeds or not has nothing whatsoever to do with you. What he does with his inheritance is his own business, what on earth gives you the right to judge?

Ekátn · 10/11/2022 01:01

But he has sine exactly what you think he should.
If you don’t think he should be housing the mother of his child, why mention where she lives or what sort of area? Struggling to understand why this is any of your business at all.

PoundShopPrincess · 10/11/2022 01:04

What's your DH doing with his inheritance?

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 10/11/2022 01:34

Citycentre3 · 10/11/2022 00:22

Well it took longer than a month for the house search/sell to be finalised, but he had only known this new woman 5 weeks when he decided or rather she decided that they were buying the house together or more to the point she would be deciding on all the finer details with his money.

So by the time the house purchase went through he’d known her for at least a few months, admittedly not great but arguably less irresponsible than his ex moving in a new man to live with their child.

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 10/11/2022 01:47

He can do whatever he wants with his money.
How do you even know that his new gf is on the deeds and dictating on the furnishings?

If it was my family I’d be more concerned about the child - dad moved out, moves in with his gf, mum living with someone new, and moving to another home all with a short period of time. Seems no one gives a shit about the child. Too focused on cash and fucking.

Cantstandbullshit · 10/11/2022 02:45

saleorbouy · 10/11/2022 00:17

He is a fool, especially if his latest flame is on the deeds.

There’s no indication at all from the OP that he added her to the deed, it looks like he bought a house for himself and obviously she was involved as they are dating.

Seems the OP thinks he should have bought the house for his ex wife and her new partner to live in with his daughter, not sure how that makes sense.

He should buy the house for himself, his daughter stays there when with him and he leaves the house to her, why would he buy a house for his ex wife and her partner to live in???

HoppingPavlova · 10/11/2022 02:49

But he has done exactly what you say he should have! Instead of renting he has purchased a house which gives stability to his daughter when she comes to visit/stay.

What does anything have to do with the fact the daughters mother lives on a rough council estate with her new partner? Were you expecting him to buy his ex-partner and her new partner a house somewhere else, as that is ludicrous?

He has somewhere for his daughter to go on visits, what in earth does it matter who is on the title deed or who chooses the soft furnishings? Madness.

Ekátn · 10/11/2022 02:50

Cantstandbullshit · 10/11/2022 02:45

There’s no indication at all from the OP that he added her to the deed, it looks like he bought a house for himself and obviously she was involved as they are dating.

Seems the OP thinks he should have bought the house for his ex wife and her new partner to live in with his daughter, not sure how that makes sense.

He should buy the house for himself, his daughter stays there when with him and he leaves the house to her, why would he buy a house for his ex wife and her partner to live in???

Op says she is on the title deeds in the Op.

OhThatChicken · 10/11/2022 02:52

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 10/11/2022 00:16

How did he get to choose, view and complete a house purchase within a month?

This is the bit that outrages me. It would appear I'm still slightly traumatised by the palaver and emotional rollercoaster of our last house move.

Also, women aren't 'pieces' of anything. HTH.