Inheritance to new girlfriend over DD

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I just can't get over that a man who suddenly becomes in a position to buy a property instead of renting, due to a family inheritance would priortise a new girlfriend that he has known for around a month instead of his own young daughter.

This is exactly what my brother in law has done. Surely it is his duty as a father to provide a home for his child and not some latest piece he has met off Tinder

He split up from the mother of his child a few months previous. They both lived in a rented property, so he moved out and rented somewhere else to live on his own.

His own family home was sold due to inheritance reasons, and the money was split between 3 siblings. Surely any sane normal man would see this as an opportunity to give his child some stability?

his ex partner now lives in a rough council estate with a new partner and his dd, who he sees twice a month.

This woman that he had known literally for 5 weeks, got to decide where the house should be and what kind of property she wanted.

Just to be clear she never contributed to the deposit on the house and my brother in law pays the mortgage, but her name is on the title deeds.

Tell me people, are these now the normal actions of a decent loving father in 2022?

Maybe the inheritance wasn't enough for him to buy the house outright and was used as a deposit. Maybe he needed his GF to be on the deeds so she could also be on and pay towards the mortgage. Maybe she had her own inheritance to contribute. Maybe they hold as tenants in common with a deed of trust setting out their respective shares. However amongst those maybes there is one thing for sure that is definite. It is definitely none of your business.

The new gf is a threat to his daughter's future inheritance from him but it's his decision

His daughter will have to earn her for her own property not expecting much from her father to provide for her.

Lol

I was brought up to believe a father should provide for his children and not random women they barely know.

I was brought up to believe it's incredibly foolish and irresponsible to move a bloke in with your daughter when you've only been together a few months. Weren't you?

Maybe think about that before judging your BIL. Not sure why he has to live up to higher standards than his ex?

it was definitely the mortgage company’s request. I spoke with them myself. I couldn’t go on the mortgage because of my credit rating at the time. Made no difference though as we were married so as-long as he didn’t go bankrupt, I’d still have a stake.

Yeah this happened to me too. Couldn’t go on the deeds because I wasn’t on the mortgage.

Yes agreed both parents are both dysfunctional, and not a good example to their daughter.

I knew this sale of DP'S family home was coming, as it has been discussed for years. As far as I was concerned it was his inheritance and it was his business, even though we had been together for 12 years.

This is why I was gobsmacked when meeting Bil's girlfriend for the second time, she started talking about the inheritance that was coming and what properties she was looking to move into. She said things like dp wants to live in x place but I think y is more convenient for me getting to work etc.

It just struck me as rather presumptuous and grabby, that she was talking like they had been together 5 years and not 5 weeks, it would never of occured to me to discuss this with her because as far as I was concerned it was up to the two brothers and the other sister to sort out. I was taken aback how forward she was being about it, especially as she knew her dp had a 4 year old that her dp had a responsibility to take care of.

Ah well I suppose we are all different, no one else thinks that's odd, so I suppose it must be me then!

Well your BIL is a tit for strutting around his inheritance in front of someone he barely knows but a lot of men are like that. They don't mind grabby gfs if they feel she is out of their league. Nothing can really be said or done about it.

His ex though doesn't seem to be much better. She could have chosen a more prosperous guy to live with than a broke one to where she still has to live in a rough area. Or she could skill up and not live off benefits and move to a little nicer area for herself and DD. But again, nothing can really be said or done about it.

What he should have done and what he did, not much anyone can say about it. He'll run through the money and be back to where he started.

But how do you know the ins and outs of who is on the deeds? And who paid for what? And how is he prioritising his new GF over his dd, who will stay with him, in his house, EOW?

Is he completely funding the lifestyle of his new GF? because you mentioned she works, so thats unlikely. Perhaps they are both on the deeds because they both put money into the property they both looked at and purchased?

I'm really confused how any of it is your business anyway. Unless the dd is being neglected or has no bedroom at the new house, really their setup is nothing to do with you.

And for all you know he may well have known his 'new' gf for a much longer time than is public knowledge. Hence how the move in together doesn't seem soon for them. It seems both parents have very very quickly moved in with someone else - a couple of months since they split? So who knows what was going on before that time. With either of them.

How on earth do you even know who is on the deeds of the house?

“even though we had been together for 12 years”

so you are the ex then?

just struck me as rather presumptuous and grabby, that she was talking like they had been together 5 years and not 5 weeks,

Lol, they probably have been together 5 years, on the sly.

Ah sorry I get it now. I assumed the ex was your sister due to you being so invested, if not the ex.

so BIL is your husbands brother. Do you have a close relationship with his ex?

I think it’s rubbish that he only sees her twice a month and I think he should be giving some of the money to her mother in addition to maintenance (which I am guessing he only pays minimum amount of?). He hardly sees his child, he could have given a decent financial boost for the mum to help raise her.

i also think he should have prioritised buying a home close to his DD’s home and it should have been his DD looking at houses with him and getting excited, not some woman off Tinder who wants to live close to her own workplace so it’s more convenient for her!

Wouldn't be what I would do. Wouldn't be what you would do. But it is what he has done. And none of your business. But FWIIW I also wouldn't buy a house for my ex, regardless of children. There's a reason they are not togther, which is also none of my business and none of yours. Morals, like beauty, are in the eye of the beholder.

I think it's sad that he has made his inheritance less secure by adding the woman he's in a new relationship with to the deeds. If that is what he's done. It isn't prioritising a stable future for him and his daughter, and if you care for her then it must be hard to see.

But there isn't anything you can do. It is disappointing though.

I also think it is bizarre that this woman identifies herself as a "feminist".

I was not aware that stealing a little girls inheritance passes for feminism these days!

She hasn’t stolen anything. She’s bought a house with her boyfriend. You’ve got major issues with this couple and need to calm the fuck down. If you and your boyfriend are so worried about his ex SIL and niece you’re welcome to buy the mum and new boyfriend a house and chuck the niece a load of cash. Maybe you’d feel better and stop obsessing about something which doesn’t concern you.

People are quick to accuse posters of jealousy on here and I don’t usually agree but you’re unhealthily fixated and it’s easy to assume she’s got something you don’t have and it’s driving you insane.

He is a dick blind fool. He should have bought a house with his name on the deeds only for his daughter to inherit later on.

How do you know she's on the deeds? How do you know what her financial contribution is to the property? Is she paying the mortgage? Is there a deed of trust to ring fence Bils money?
Did they really only meet recently....?

It's also not that girl's inheritance her father might need to spend it all on care bills, or might go bankrupt, or might still it and give all the money to a donkey sanctuary. It's not her inheritance until he dies.

This thread is confusing. Is the man in question your ex OP? There seems to be a lot of hate towards him and his new gf.
Chances are they have known each other for a lot longer than 5 weeks, my guess would be he was having an affair with her for quite a while before he left.

Really it isn’t any of your business what he does with the money he was left. He doesn’t have to spend it on making his DD’s life better buy making sure she has a stable home (this would mean buying his ex a house and him possibly living in rented housing). He is stupid for putting her on the deeds but you don’t really know if that’s true or not, why would he tell you?

How on earth do you know such personal details about his personal finances and conversations he’s having with this “other woman”.

Are you suggesting he should provide a house for his daughter, her mum and her partner?

His daughter will eventually inherit from him so any investment is likely to benefit her.

I like you. Your on my wave length This is exactly what any "decent" father should do without question.