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Original poster

Did DH cheat or is this a joke?

511 replies

Newuser1987 · 05/11/2022 16:05

Got a DM on Instagram this morning. Private account but definitely not a fake one.

From a young woman claiming she has slept with my husband a few weeks ago and thought I deserved to know.

She knows details about a birth Mark on his chest and a tattoo on his ankle. But DH wears shorts a lot so lots would have seen the ankle tattoo. He does talk about his birth Mark as well so a lot of people know he has one. So I'm hoping that this is just someone stirring but wanted to post on here to get clarity and that I'm not just trying to comfort myself.

A few months ago he had a string of mysterious phone calls which led to a huge row as he wouldn't answer the phone to the mysterious person then started saying i was getting worked up over nothing. Nothing since then tho so other than that I have no reason to believe he has cheated.

I Will confront him but it's just his word against this random person on Instagram right? I'm calm thinking it's just someone stirring. But what if it's not? How would you feel?

Can't exactly break up over one set of messages from a random woman. We have 3 kids together.

OP posts:
Mirabai · 05/11/2022 19:41

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:40

OP. Tell her unless you can prove it with a screenshot of messages, photos, anything, you'll be going to the police. And actually follow through. Then you'll know.....

Don’t be ridiculous

Goldpaw · 05/11/2022 19:41

This in its own is one thing, but plus the phonecalls a while ago, I'd be suspicious.

RandomMusings7 · 05/11/2022 19:42

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:40

OP. Tell her unless you can prove it with a screenshot of messages, photos, anything, you'll be going to the police. And actually follow through. Then you'll know.....

@pambeasly are you for real?

Go to the police for what exactly? 🙄

Fireballxl5 · 05/11/2022 19:42

My dh wouldn’t know if another woman was crazy and obsessive unless he was close to her.
Sounds to me as if she has already told your dh that she was going to tell you about the affair.
I think he’s lying to you.

Anon778833 · 05/11/2022 19:42

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:40

OP. Tell her unless you can prove it with a screenshot of messages, photos, anything, you'll be going to the police. And actually follow through. Then you'll know.....

Go to the police and tell them what?

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:42

Why is that ridiculous @Mirabai ? Harassment and slander (if it's not true)... I'd definitely report her.

Traisonthewine78 · 05/11/2022 19:43

Oh come on.

FlissyPaps · 05/11/2022 19:44

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:40

OP. Tell her unless you can prove it with a screenshot of messages, photos, anything, you'll be going to the police. And actually follow through. Then you'll know.....

What stupid brain dead advice. Encouraging someone to (even hypothetically) involve the police in something like this is ridiculous.

OP DO NOT do this.

Even if you did go to the police station about her messages they would laugh you out of there.

Macaroni1924 · 05/11/2022 19:44

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:42

Why is that ridiculous @Mirabai ? Harassment and slander (if it's not true)... I'd definitely report her.

or if you really want to get to the bottom of it don’t threaten her and be nice then she’s more likely to help you prove it. Friends close, enemies closer…

RandomMusings7 · 05/11/2022 19:44

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:42

Why is that ridiculous @Mirabai ? Harassment and slander (if it's not true)... I'd definitely report her.

You're crazy.

One facebook message is not harrassment.

And it's not slander if he's done it...

Dunnoburt · 05/11/2022 19:47

Definitely fishy......sorry OP XX

WaddleAway · 05/11/2022 19:49

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:40

OP. Tell her unless you can prove it with a screenshot of messages, photos, anything, you'll be going to the police. And actually follow through. Then you'll know.....

😂 one of the funniest things I’ve read on here. The police don’t even turn up for burglaries, they just give you a crime number. You think they’d take any notice of this?
Plus the OP would have to prove it’s not true. How can she do that? Especially when it very likely is true.
Also, threatening someone with the police for not revealing what are probably intimate photos of herself seems like blackmail to me.

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:51

OP's husband said this woman is crazy and obsessive, and she's managed to track down OP and message her (OP said there were several messages, not one?).
OP has kids.
If he's not lying, I would absolutely report a crazy obsessive woman who tracked me down online to message me weird stuff about my husband. It would freak me out no end especially when thinking of my kids.

She came here for opinions. And that's mine.

Stravaig · 05/11/2022 19:52

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:42

Why is that ridiculous @Mirabai ? Harassment and slander (if it's not true)... I'd definitely report her.

It sounds like OP verbally assaulted this young woman, even though she 'seemed polite and like she just wanted to give me the info and then not be involved further'. So the only person OP could report was herself!

zurala · 05/11/2022 19:52

Op he has cheated on you.

You don't want to believe it but he has. And he will continue to if you let him get away with it.

You don't need proof to dump him. Just finish it because you know he has cheated.

Or, stay with him, but know that he's a cheater and he will do it again.

I had sympathy with you at the start but now your sticking your head in the sand and it's irritating. Get real and make your decision.

To stay with a cheater, or to dump him?

WaddleAway · 05/11/2022 19:52

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:51

OP's husband said this woman is crazy and obsessive, and she's managed to track down OP and message her (OP said there were several messages, not one?).
OP has kids.
If he's not lying, I would absolutely report a crazy obsessive woman who tracked me down online to message me weird stuff about my husband. It would freak me out no end especially when thinking of my kids.

She came here for opinions. And that's mine.

But she doesn’t know that he’s not lying, does she?

RandomMusings7 · 05/11/2022 19:53

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:51

OP's husband said this woman is crazy and obsessive, and she's managed to track down OP and message her (OP said there were several messages, not one?).
OP has kids.
If he's not lying, I would absolutely report a crazy obsessive woman who tracked me down online to message me weird stuff about my husband. It would freak me out no end especially when thinking of my kids.

She came here for opinions. And that's mine.

Oh wow. I have no words for this lack of logic and naiveness!

FlissyPaps · 05/11/2022 20:02

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:51

OP's husband said this woman is crazy and obsessive, and she's managed to track down OP and message her (OP said there were several messages, not one?).
OP has kids.
If he's not lying, I would absolutely report a crazy obsessive woman who tracked me down online to message me weird stuff about my husband. It would freak me out no end especially when thinking of my kids.

She came here for opinions. And that's mine.

It looks very likely that he is lying though, don’t you think?

ThirtyThreeTrees · 05/11/2022 20:03

You aren't this naive and you know you aren't. You are simply searching for an explanation that's easier to stomach than a cheating husband.

There's no logic to what he says and he's gone for the lazy option of both of you are crazy..he didn't even make any effort with his lies. He cheated plain & simple. Sounds like he just used her for a shag & she's pissed at that.

Sandra1984 · 05/11/2022 20:05

pambeasly · 05/11/2022 19:51

OP's husband said this woman is crazy and obsessive, and she's managed to track down OP and message her (OP said there were several messages, not one?).
OP has kids.
If he's not lying, I would absolutely report a crazy obsessive woman who tracked me down online to message me weird stuff about my husband. It would freak me out no end especially when thinking of my kids.

She came here for opinions. And that's mine.

You cannot report a person to the police for messaging you. You can however report a person for messaging and calling you non stop after you've told them not to contact you, that's called harassment. The OW messaged the OP, there's no harassment on either side, no crime was committed here. From a legal point there's nothing to report. Sorry...

Icantthinkwhat · 05/11/2022 20:07

But perhaps she is a crazy obsessive who has been rebuffed.

To me, bothering to contact but refusing to provide the 'evidence' is dead fishy.

thenewduchessoflapland · 05/11/2022 20:08

He slept with her and is now trying to gaslight you.

She probably contacted you because guilt has a way of eating away at a person.

She's probably not the first woman he's slept with behind your back just simply the first you know about.

TurquoiseDragon · 05/11/2022 20:09

ThirtyThreeTrees · 05/11/2022 20:03

You aren't this naive and you know you aren't. You are simply searching for an explanation that's easier to stomach than a cheating husband.

There's no logic to what he says and he's gone for the lazy option of both of you are crazy..he didn't even make any effort with his lies. He cheated plain & simple. Sounds like he just used her for a shag & she's pissed at that.

This is what I was thinking, too.

PicturesOfDogs · 05/11/2022 20:10

Icantthinkwhat · 05/11/2022 20:07

But perhaps she is a crazy obsessive who has been rebuffed.

To me, bothering to contact but refusing to provide the 'evidence' is dead fishy.

I think the husband calling OP a drama Queen is fishier personally

Amandasummers · 05/11/2022 20:10

Also your giving your partner way too much credit. I'm sure he's not God's gift to women and people more than likely have far better things to do then try and end your marriage. She obviously didn't know he was single so grassed him when she found out. Rightly so.