Ex trying to blackmail me

[ellie09]

Looking for some advice on what to do

My ex came across some pictures of me after he factory reset my old phone (it was previously locked as LO had it to play with). He then took photos of these pictures and kept them on his phone even after I told him to delete them. Some of these are varying levels of kink (nothing illegal or anything like that)

I contacted CSA about lack of payments from him. They obviously contacted him so he rang me and gave me abuse down the phone. He is also trying to buy a house at the moment so wants a divorce.

Basically after calling me every name under the sun, He's threatened me with showing these pictures to my family, to his solicitor, to the social workers (even though it doesn't involve our son) and ruin my life by "ruining my character" if I don't give him half the money for the divorce and drop the CSA case.

What do I do? I was thinking about calling the police to put a stop to it but I have no idea what they can do?

At the same time I don't want to not do anything as he's incredibly abusive and manipulative so I wouldn't put it past him to actually do something.

Any advice would be appreciated

’The thing about blackmail is it never ends’

This ^

Thanks guys, I will give them a call tonight to make them aware and see what the next steps are

I also need to pick up child from him later today so we will see how that goes

Luckily I don't think he would come by my house aggressive as I have a rottweiler stays with me lol

If anything, if the police are able to get the phone and delete the pictures even without and repercussion for him, I'd be happy

You should go to the police.

Good to him finding a solicitor that will condone committing a crime.

He's blackmailing you for financial gain, which is a criminal offence.
Furthermore, since you are still married, his behaviour is coercive control , which is also a criminal offence carrying a prison sentence.

smqlegal.co.uk/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-offence/

Take all the evidence in his messages texts etc. to police.

His goose is absolutely cooked.

When he's a convicted criminal and abuser that will seriously affect HIS career, earning potential, social standing. Maybe his GF will think twice when his true nature is on public show.

Report it to the police. Blackmail is a very serious crime - even if he doesn't go to court the police will be able to recover and delete the pictures from his devices.

Don't engage with him anymore - just report it and let them deal with him.

999 now and keep his threats and record him
making them now

Report to the Police asap.

Any further communication with ex via email/text only.

Revenge porn us a rime report him asap. Get the upper hand here.

Is*

Thanks all, I will ring the police tonight when LO is in bed and see what they think about it all

After all that was said also, I collected the child today from him and he didn't even leave his door, just sent the child outside. So didn't get any recording of any more

Revenge porn is a crime, blackmail is a crime, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Report him to the police and let them deal with this despicable specimen of manhood.

Glad to hear you're phoning the police, it's the best course if action and means he can't blackmail you again. The problem with blackmail is it never ends, everytime you do, or don't do something he wants he'll hold them against you. Nip it in the bud now and he can't use it again

People take photos, that no big deal, blackmailing someone with this type of photo is illegal, report him to the police now, it's basically sexual extortion and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Would be handy if you could get him to repeat the threat in a text.

Maybe 'I won't tolerate your threats anymore. Delete the pictures and leave me the hell alone, asshole'. That'll hopefully goad him into threatening via text. Don't answer the phone if he calls. Wait. Let him text.

Best case scenario, he threatens you, you have proof of blackmail and he gets sent to jail.

Worst case scenario he shares the photos with some people who will just think 'well, what a nasty prick he is'. AND he'll gets arrested for revenge porn and sent to jail. Happy days.

Ironically, he only has power over you if you don't go to the police. Remove the threat and have him cautioned against sharing anything personal for revenge. Shackle him with the law.

And tbh...if a few people see some kinky photos of you and it means he gets in the shit for it, everyone sees sees what ass he is and he is kept out of your and your kids life for a while - then id say that's a no brainer tbh.

This.

Definitely call the police and log it with them.

This is a real crime.

Remember to tell them his threats to ruin you and your reputation.

Scum.

Agreed.
And as he's demanding half the CSA monies, he's actually attempting to extort monies with malice.

And this CSA money is to feed and home his kids... he's a nasty piece of work. Personally I'd bite the bullet and go on the full offensive.

Don't worry about nude pics, we're all the same under our clothes and what we do in our bedrooms is 'whatever'.
I think any friends or family who saw them and understood what he was threatening, would just think terribly if him not you.

Get ahead of the curve. Tell them - here's what he's threatening, here's what I'm going to do and his the police will be involved, you might get sone pictures sent, please tell me and as my solicitor is collecting evidence. Then tell him.

Guarantee he backs down. Bully's always do when confronted. He's all bark.

What an utter prick.

Please report him OP

My abusive ex actually sent photos of me after threatening to do so, I had no proof he had though unfortunately
I wish I had proof, I found evidence on his phone he had but he deleted it all.
He continued the abuse for a long time and I was too scared to report it, I wish I had shut it all down when I had opportunities to do so, because they just ramp it up.

Please report him. Also keep in mind that if he does show the pictures to the people you mention, he will be the one that looks bad, not you. I works be spared if I were sent pictures like that in the course of business by someone wanting to destroy his ex’s reputation. It would do the opposite in fact, I’d have so much more sympathy for her! Is also think he was an abusive arse.

The police came round tonight and took an incident statement. They are treating it as "sextortion" at the moment and have referred it to a specialised department and i have to speak to detectives tomorrow.

How stressful, literally petrified. They also have to inform social services as it's a domestic incident?

Well done OP. It might feel terrifying now but it's a decent step on the road to freedom.

You’ve done the right and the brave thing. Don’t forget, they’re on your side.