Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Had marvelous date of cinema, restaurant and awesome sex with MrEx. Best sex of my life as usual. We are mulling seeing each other more as a couple but I’m unclear this is what I really want. It’s clear we love each other deeply but he’s a bit of a love bomber and I am not sure he’s the right person for me.
I keep looking apps but I like NO ONE. So I’ve got 0 irons. I know I’m extremely picky though
Eeky… there needs to be night dating in the agenda. It’s abnormal not being able to fix a night here or there
Well done Oncey… looking forward to hearing about new irons 😊 and I think we are all learning here

Mila14

this maybe a whack idea but could you have Ex have relationship counselling ?

you clearly love each other
but maybe a (good ) counsellor could help you frame things

it depends if you think it’s worth getting some help , but 7 years is a long time

and relationships don’t have to fit into a box or a type

i don’t know , sometimes we need help to navigate these things

Worsy … he went to a lot of counseling ( depression/alcohol/ex w abuse …) I used to feel apprehensive of receiving text or call as it was so up and down. I have no idea whether he can actually change some bits but he’s aware we always end up together and there’s massive love. I feel insecure and find it difficult to invest totally on him again
He says he intends to show me… I don’t know anything right now
I’m still on apps and can pick very carefully. If I start seeing MrEx more because we both want to … I will think about dropping apps and give it a full go. As I said… he’s wonderful beautiful successful man but he needs to show me he’s in there for the long haul and able to control his demons

I have read your updates for ages now & it strikes me, that it will have to be all or nothing, you are comparing other ppl against MrEx and they come up short ( not literally), and you refer to MrEx in such loving terms and you keep having sex, going out together etc.
you are clearly stuck between a rock and a hard place, you either give it full go with MrEx or put him to one side,, as those feelings are clearly ever present and are clouding your judgment with others, you are not really single and not really in a relationship either,
Im an absolute fuckwit about these kind of issues, but it’s as plain as day.

@Mila14
As an aside I was on a hobby training day on Sunday & the one thing the instructor keep saying was that I didn’t believe my own eyes were telling me and was making the same mistake over and over…

Yay @Mila14 for hot great sex with MrEx but as others have said Boooo for the confusion and conflict and sense of uncertainty it brings.
What a tricky one.
I think you are doing the right thing by seeing how it plays out and trusting actual observations rather than words whilst also seeing who else is out there. And just because there's no one today that doesn't mean there won't be.

Spot on Oncey… but I agree with Howlongy too…no one compares to MrEx sexually, or emotionally. He treats me like a princess too but I think that’s because we meet like twice or three times a month only. Still… having someone you’ve been with for 7 years kissing every inch of your body and taking his time devouring you is not usual. Sex is all in because I can feel his love and adoration. He always tells me he will always want me and I believe it. But outside these little interludes of massive pleasure and posh dinner places we don’t function as a couple. That’s a fact. I want a partner not an irregular love story

I want good sex 😭😭😭

Definitelycross

hang tight sista

it’s out there
just maybe not in the packaging we expect

I think we all want good sex… I’ve had a few encounters after Mr Ex and they have been proper shite. So I could not quite drop him to be honest. Good intimacy is a massive draw. I now know it’s really difficult finding an awesome lover with the “right tool” 😂😂😂😈

Indeed

Back from Date 0 with Mr Indie. Think he was super nervous.. overall I feel a little meh but worth another go to see if he warms up I think.
Or is that as good as it gets?

God I hope so 🙏

Got some sex in a NoShow shaped package, I hope it was good 😊, she came back for more…

Hello mothership just checking in with the news that after a brilliant first phone call (turned into a 2 hour chatathon) with MrCars we are all systems go for a first date and I have high hopes for this one.
He's my kind of weird and energetic and clever and offbeat and nerdy and edgy and curious and stoic. Hope I fancy him. He's ginger which as my best mate pointed out has always been my favourite colouring for fellas. And has a very sexy voice and accent.
Result!
Oh and he has declared how very brilliant he thinks I am to chat to and keen to meet asap.

Super news Oncey…mothership delighted and awaiting news…Ginger guys are hot too 😝

Ok. I had some good advice from people here a while ago so I’m back with a more positive name and outlook.

I’m on Bumble, messaging with three guys although currently waiting for them to respond. We only started chatting about two days ago so 🤷‍♀️.

This thread moves SO SO fast, how do you keep track of each other?

Unexpectedly one of my irons, MrOrange, after a handful of dates/hook ups but relatively confusing sporadic comms, has instigated something akin to a MINIBREAK! I’m feeling v Bridget jones like.

Scheduling has been difficult but somehow we found a free weekend and have booked an overnight trip. I was instantly excited not least cause he was actually booking stuff himself (I’m used to boyfs expecting me to do the work) but cause y’know actually going and seeing stuff together.

Then I remembered how accustomed I am to singleton life and have started to get anxious. It’s v silly so I’m ignoring the worries but stuff like, farting, how much coffee I drink (what if he doesn’t take coffee breaks??), what if we run out of conversation etc etc etc are now concerning me. Ugh.

also he’s asked me to pick evening activities. It’s either going to be a silly arcade thing (we’re both nerdy) or a lantern festival thing. Which would be less terrible do you think all?? Sooooo much pressure… or just dinner and drinks maybe…

I am hating Bumble just now.

Do you pay for it? I think I'm doing it wrong. I have it for free so can't see the people that like me. But I already pay for match.

Oooooh @DisappearingHelen that's an interesting one isn't it. Sounds ace but I think I'd be similar to you. Esp on the flatulence front.

Good idea to have activities which are time out from endless chat so maybe the arcade is better in that respect?

As soon as I said I hate Bumble I get a lovely Match. Thank you dating fairy

I know what you mean about a weekend away. Someone once scared the bejesus out of me by pointing out how vulnerable you are when you're asleep. Sorry, that probably didn't help.

But a mini break that you haven't had to organise sounds like heaven.

I second the games too. It'll be fun and you can see how he is if he wins or loses.

Either way it sounds great.

I have a 'strictly friends only don't get any ideas at all' coffee date on Friday. I'm quite looking forward to it, even though I know it's not romantic. He seems really quick witted so hopefully I'll enjoy some good grown up company.

I love how we can go from 'this is terrible there are no good people on here at all!' despondent and despair to 'Yayyyyy! This one looks fabulous!'

It only takes one good match to change from doom to delight 🤣🙄

I know 😬

I can’t find a single iron…and I’m quick at unmatching after a sentence or 2…maybe I’m sabotaging myself here by not given anyone a look. I haven’t seen anyone I like.

@Definitelycross …the dating fairy is totally on your side 😊…enjoy