Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I too was thinking about the best sex.

When I got together with ex-H probably but then we were very young 19.

But another boyfriend just before him (and during for a while 😳) was unbelievable. I mean he just has been unsurpassed. He was actually my first too so I'm glad. But it was so good and like someone earlier said he could go from gentle to full-on just like that. But in an amazing way. Yes that is definitely the best sex I've ever had.

Right I was messaging loads with a guy last night on Match.

All seemed to be going well but for some reason I didn't get to giving numbers. Even though we messaged constantly.

So, he has a daughter from a previous relationship that he has nothing to do with. This is just what we were talking about yesterday.

Now up to this point I found him interesting but with my history of ex husband and our children it has turned me right off.

I really feel strongly on this and I'm not sure what's getting me so annoyed.

Question - do I just ghost? Block? Or tell him? I mean there's nothing he can do, it's his life and his choices but imho I could not be with a man who has that in the past.

But we only chatted for one evening I don't owe him anything right??

Deffy…you do not need to be in contact with irons who have 0 contact with kids. I could not either as that was triggering for same reasons as you. If it’s in match and no numbers exchanged…ghost, no problem

@Definitelycross It's a boundary of yours. You don't owe him anything. Like we said, it raises complex issues and there could be any number of reasons why, but mainly trauma/negative reasons, and none of which you need to invite to your life.

My experience of trying to explain just rises anger in them - which could be also why he doesn't see his child. There's no point. It's exactly what happened to me yesterday with that tall bloke who I initially found funny.

Block and delete. Next.

@Mila14 yeah I will. I've just looked at it again and no, it really has triggered me too much.

He's also got another daughter with another woman who he is not with.

BUT exciting news Mr A messaged me this morning and is wanting to meet for a coffee - I'm so pleased.

I actually took the app off my phone yesterday as, because I was off sick, I just kept looking at it and I lost total perspective of what people have going on in their lives. Came back to it this morning on the laptop and there he was.

AND just tested negative at last for Covid.

Hopefully this day is looking up :-)

Yayyyy Deffy…excellent news. Bring on Mr A’s first date!

WORD SISTER!!

Just read a profile that said he's looking for his Tinderella - hahaha!

Yes absolutely

Oh god I'm a sucker for dad jokes.

I can't believe that some guys write - right I'm sick of this place. You women are just terrible and don't know what you really want.
Really attractive 🙄

@Definitelycross love a Dad joke too. We're chatting now and he seems lovely.

Haha, I know. It's like a child temper tantrum. Throwing toys out of a pram. I wonder if it's the same on the female side. Angry and still expect to attract love, respect and kindness?

The middle finger up in profile pics is my fave.

I mean?!

@5thWisdom awww that's great.

Yes do they really think that's attractive???

Apparently women are all - don't swipe if you're not this, that or the other. So I think it is just as bad sadly.

I blocked the guy on Match and deleted the conversation. I feel a bit bad about it. But the more I think about him the more 'off' I feel. I can't put my finger on it. It's just not right

You have done the right thing @Definitelycross!! it is a serious red flag.

Good news about the date with Mr A and being Covid free 😊

Mollymolloy

i have to say I find that strange
single mum , FT work yada yada

teenagers can be left when you pop out

but I’d find time to date !!!

you might have one that just wants to text and sext
there are many of them out there

Throwing toys out of a pram. I wonder if it's the same on the female side. Angry and still expect to attract love, respect and kindness?

it’s a bit different on the female side, I found lots of negativity , no this, no that, no the other, as in, I don’t message 1st, No Tories, No smokers, No men under XX height, or not fat men , etc, which is all a preference and that’s fine but I used to find that quite off putting so that would always be left swipe no matter what.

Afternoon all.
1st actual date with Mr Teacher tomorrow, walk and a coffee is planned. Feeling a little nervous as he is not my preferred choice and we haven't spoken on the phone or even exchanged that many messages...
Guy in the current top slot who we have shared a video call with has his 14 year old this weekend so we are planning a real life meet next weekend.
There may be another date on Sunday with another potential. Kind of figured to strike whilst the iron is hot!
Oh and talking about sex - Best sex ever was with a narc ex. I am hoping that this can be replicated with new partner (whoever that may be!).

Just why??

Especially the not messaging first. Jeez I always do as the men in my area would never go first.

Best sex ever
well, it’s almost all been good, some times better than others, sometimes things don’t work how they are supposed to 🤷🏼

Good luck to those having dates this weekend!

I’ve got an afternoon date with MrFootball tomorrow, just going to a pub for a drink but questioning what to wear. Was thinking my black jeggings, Chelsea boots and a grey chunky jumper?? I haven’t been on a date in about 15 years 🤣

Good luck with first or subsequent dates happening this weekend.

Love the leggings, chunky cardie and boots vibe.

I've got a 4th speed rendez with MrCars as he pit stops for lunch en route of a verrrrrrry long drive. Texting has taking a much better pace and now I actually long for them instead of feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Back to sex talk. What are we and that includes you @NoDatingForOldMen (please) calling male appendages in the boudoir?
I always want to go for 'willy' as in in 'Oooooooo what a LOVELY willy you have!' but 'cock/dick' feel all wrong coming from me. I've also gone for 'sexy trouser friend' not in the bedroom but referring back to or looking forward to.

Are there better words?

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss what's wrong with ‘penis’?

i love that all your sexual encounters have been good @NoDatingForOldMen 😂. I do wonder if that is because you are a man? Maybe women have a much more varied experience - from sublime to 😱.

It’s lame perhaps but my best ever is indeed Mr B (nearly four years now) - he has quite a small penis but he knows what to do with it (and his mouth and his fingers). And he genuinely wants to please me in any way he can. And he has an almost permanent erection! And he finds my 60 year old, 3 c-section, overweight body completely entrancing. I sometimes wonder if he’s right in the head…

Oh that's so lovely 🥰

Depends. If hot and heavy cock 😂😂

Penis feels too anatomical

Willy - too little boyish

Dick - maybe

@ownedbygreyhounds best of luck tomorrow, I hope it all unfolds well for you. Even if you haven't messaged a lot, it may come as a wonderful surprise - often it's when you have lowest expectations, it can turn out the most fun!

@OLDstolemybrain I hope your date goes well - apologies I'm not sure how many dates you've been on with him, but I'd go comfort and style all the way. Do you have plans for later in the evening or just see how it pans out? Beware of afternoon drinking and make sure you stay in control of what you want x

From both male and female sides, this just feels so demanding and one sided! I mean, it's good to know what you want, but there's a gentler way to communicate that. surely rather than what comes across as a shouty list of demands!

I have about 10 matches that aren't initiating conversation.

Another 10 where I have initiated, but they're not replying.

And my Tinderella man who's been messaging me all day.

Onwards Mothership