Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Do you have a subscribe to Match to open an account? This may be my next option as my Tinder pickings get slimmer and slimmer...

I think you're right.

Mr B is very keen and could be good for fun. But I like Mr L the best. There's something about him. It's weird.

I don't know. I did it accidentally one drunken evening. I signed up for six months 🤦‍♀️

I'm just glad I didn't pay for Bumble.

Hmm, I thought MrGhost was the one I fancied the most but there’s something about MrFootball. He’s just so easy to talk to

maybe if I could get MrFootball to have MrGhosts smooth Scottish accent and dark eyes we’ll be onto a winner 🤣

Stopped the all day texting with MrCars and Had a nice long phone call.
I definitely fancy his brain. He's very clever and practical

I'm on Match. Have only ever been on Match. But after a couple of years on and off I'm getting a bit fed up with it. Lots of time wasters and same faces. Also a lot of guys looking just for hookups. Might need to change things up a bit.

Oh... and therapy. Absolutely worth the investment IMHO. Have just started again as realised that I seem to be perpetuating a pattern in any relationship I have and then they all blow out. Keen to get on top of it before finding anyone again, but still looking just in case 😉

That's so interesting. One of the first guys I met n there said he'd been on and off it for three years.
Boy did he know how to play the game.

You're not going to believe this but there is another very promising iron. I think we will call him Mr A.

Holy shit Deffy… you are on fire. Bring it on! I think MrA has dropped in because you are feeling good and NOT OVERINVESTED…stay like this until you know more

I think you're right. Also I changed some of the photos.

What a funny old place OLD is.

I'm still not a hundred percent sure it's for me but it passes the time from my sick bed.

@Mumtolittleorange …good on you for putting your well being first. I did not know there were “players” on match. I was there very briefly and didn’t work for me. But really OLD has not worked for me ( yet?) and now I’m off it. So I guess I didn’t have the patience 🙄

I've reeled one in this evening (tongue in cheek, he seems lovely. Note seems. I'm not naive).

He's 8 years younger. Says he's attracted to older women for better conversation? (Sounding more naive now to fall for that)

I'm short and have always ended up with shorter men - below 6ft - because of this. I'm dreaming of a tall, strong man, towering over me.

He's 5ft 7.

Sigh.

What is the best way to cool things off with matches you are chatting with if you start progressing with dates with one particular match ? Had a very nice date last night, have planned to see each other again Friday. Has been chatting to 2 others. A previous failed date (nice guy, said he was not over his ex) has been messaging lots so I was honest and told him I had a date coming up - he was asking to meet up again and i thought honesty the best policy. But a second is pleasant enough but not really feeling it and not sure what to say. But Fridays date might not go so well, then am I burning my bridges ? In the meantime I am off the apps completely as cant face the chit chat stage with someone new at the moment.

@Findingmeagain I'm not sure you owe them anything. I wouldn't worry or put yourself under pressure to explain or defend your actions. Don't string anyone along, and obviously you can't have cake and eat it, but I'm sure you can gently explain you're wanting to take your time to get to know people without rushing anything.

The chit chat is draining. Feel like a copy and paste function is needed for this initial phase or entire evenings are lost that lead to nowhere.

I’m 6ft, so does that make an inch shorter than me “short “

@NoDatingForOldMen I've no idea. I know I'm being shallow. It doesn't actually matter. I think I'm just wanting someone to protect and look after me after years of obstinately looking after myself - hence search for big, tall, strong man. It's not rational.

Yeah -I’m not too surprised really, I had a thing with lady in Wales for a while, it’ was just sooo far to the Severn crossing, then miles & miles after that,

But the older women thing, that’s quite common for lots of men really,

It's curious. Once you reach a certain age, you become the older woman. Something to get used to in itself!

Sorry to barge in but at what age do you become the 'old' woman. Asking for a friend ;)

@TheVillageShop Woah! Not old! (Please don't say that!) Older! Which is subjective, of course!
I'm early 40s. To a 30 year old, I'm an older woman.

@5thWisdom Early 40s? You're young! I think I'm beyond 'older' and probably (definitely) old. I don't feel old though, so that could be a problem.

I would agree with that, I think for men in their later 20s / 30s, an ‘older’, women seen as 40 +, sexy, mature & desirable .

Im now an older man (50+), with all the negative connotations that come with old men on this forum

Morning all, avidly reading through this thread, whilst recovering from a chest infection. I dabbled earlier in the year with the OLD, and had one date with a guy, but despite him being a really nice person, I just didn't feel it as in I didn't want to rip his clothes off and this is a big deal for me. Got bored quite quickly of swiping and left.
However I am now back on the apps after a friend also signed up, and am looking for a LTR.
What does IRONS stand for (guessing potentials) mine are..
Mr Nurse - had a video chat last night with him after daily messages , good points - he makes me laugh. However I didn't look at him immediately and fancy the pants off him.
Mr Teacher - just started chatting. He made a bit of a sweeping statement yesterday, I immediately pointed out that he has obviously been speaking to the wrong women. He agreed and then offered me his mobile number. I am interested in pursuing this.
Mr Physio - a newbie also. He left me a voicenote and has a scottish burr (fecking sold me right there!)
And another couple - but I have deleted a few others.

@5thWisdom …I hear you…I like guys over 6’1”…I realised most guys saying 6’ tall were 5’10 or around. It’s a thing. I like feeling tiny next to a man. Some men like very curvy women or very tall women. Each to their own. Don’t chastise yourself for having a preference. It’s totally ok to like whatever you fancy