Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Well he replied so I didn't scare him off yet

Can I just ask how people get over low body confidence when meeting someone new? On the outside I am very slim etc but the skin on my tummy has been absolutely wrecked by big babies, it’s very crinkly and I hate it.

at least with the kids’ dad they know why etc, even if they are a tosser!

also how do people look good in winter for dates?? 🤣 got a date with MrFootball on Saturday and caught myself in the mirror today after being out in the cold - streaming eyes, bright red nose, very attractive! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hate my stomach but I had three sections so I've got that vile shelf stomach.

The first time I went to bed with someone after Ex it was so exciting and clothes stripping that I didn't even think about it. Funny though he stopped me and said he had a small penis 🤷‍♀️
So, I think we can categorically state that men also have hang ups and if you're getting to the bed stuff then hopefully it won't cross your mind.

However I have got a camisole and French knickers- how 80s of me - in case I don't feel comfortable. Can still cover up a bit you know.

@OLDstolemybrain I'm not at all body confident - carrying extra pounds and have csection shelf - but it hasn't stopped me sleeping with men nor has it stopped men wanting to sleep with me 🤷‍♀️ I just sort of try and put my worries out of my mind and have found men don't care nearly as much as I do 😄

Thanks @Definitelycross & @Slothmomma

I’m hoping when the time comes it won’t even enter my head!

See? Just be yourself and don’t worry so much …

Oh Slothy. I’m sorry 😞…I really really hope you fall in love and are loved by someone AMAZING and forget exdh properly.
I have to confess I fell in love like I have never had in my life after I separated from exdh…MrEx appeared 😍…but…but…but…

Just relax and own your body…guys don’t worry so much about these things…

I know it’s easy to say, but relax about your bodies, as Mila14 says we (most men) don’t worry as much ( Ms NoShow has the classic Mum-tum, and it’s lovely when she cuddles up), we (most men) are just as paranoid about our dad bods, moobs & having a disappointing penis, most of realise that we don’t the super chiselled love Island abs & the only 6 pack I have is in my fridge, generally I think men are maybe a bit less worried about getting naked in front of someone new, but not much less.

@OLDstolemybrain Just fake confidence! It's attractive and anyway, they'll be so pleased to get naked with you, they really won't care...

Re Mr Daily Fail, I'd already arranged date 0 so will am tempted to go ahead but if he mentions 'woke' I will run, fast! If it is his world view then we're a long way apart. Thank you all for your thoughts

Totally agree about body confidence and lovely to have it confirmed by our secret Spy HowLongy from the other side.
I am older than most of you and have shelf from two c sections plus horrific appendix scar but when a I asked bf what attracted me to him the first thing he said was ‘you have a great body’ (yes when covered it does look ok)
confidence and enthusiasm goes a long way 😁😁😁😁😁

Good woman!!

Shelf tummies unite.

I was thinking about this and I matched with a body builder and I just did not want to go there. Imagine it would be like hugging a brick - no offence if that's what you're into.

Me I like a dad bod. I describe myself as built for comfort not speed - I play to the strengths of having quite good boobs, arse and face. The rest is beyond

Totally agree about preferring a dad bod - really not into body builder types either and that just shows how different people prefer different things 😊

thanks for the body confidence chat everyone - going to channel my inner confident, enthusiastic self 🤩

I read something Dolly alderton wrote along the lines of ‘men just really like a naked woman’

i think generally once you fancy someone and get to getting them naked , surprises are fairly rare ?

@OLDstolemybrain aww I'm glad.

What the hell is going on? I have three irons conversing with me in Match. I'm getting a bit confused.

One I really like, he makes me laugh a lot.

Another who I wasn't sure about but he has definite potential. Not at all my usual type but it shows you shouldn't judge a book by its profile bio. He has also got a very good wit.

And a third who's sweet but I think I'd terrify him in real life.

I live this

PSA - LISTEN UP WOMEN

an iron has just said - Please don't think im being rude but I love curves

And there you have it

So MrGhost is back. Broke his phone at work apparently so was using an old Nokia, only just got it back. Very apologetic, asking if I’ve been snapped up by someone else 🤣

I want to reply but do I? Also have a date with MrFootball on Saturday, do I tell him this? 🤯

@OLDstolemybrain
no don’t tell him ,
Mr Football might get a yellow card, or the date might be called off at Half time, or maybe it will go into Extra Time, and penalties.? , but if is off -side it could be a straight red for him and an early bath.

Just say yes to mr Ghost, and hopefully you have a Spook-tacular date with him as well

Your message made me chuckle 🤭

thank you, just what I was thinking

OLDstolemybrain

no 👻 gets no details !
but hes clearly the one you fancy the most so crack on !

🤣

Enjoy enjoy @OLDstolemybrain - you're in discovery phase so just enjoy the research at your own discretion!

Still being ignored here! A few matches, no conversation. Meh.

😂😂😂

..have met someone very kind. Looking promising. Unfortunately all my relationship traumas have blown up. Am really anxious. I worry he’s lying about how he feels, am worried about him lying at all (i have told him all this and he’s reassured) worried and anxious am not his type (have communicated to him and he’s reassured). Am a nervous wreck and want to cry a lot. 4 years of divorcing outbid an 20 year marriage and 31 dates, 1 17 months to a serial liar and porn lover and I just feel like a screw up. Talk about needing reassurance. How do people get over all this? Maybe I should find a therapist? 😢 I want to feel calm. I’m 46, slim (size 8), nothing wrong with me really but feel our gunned by the other women I often view on date sites. Men think I’m beautiful generally so what the yell is going on with me..