Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Howlongy…depressing state of affairs.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss
I'm currently planning a physical night. Please don't judge. If will be the first physical time. But don't worry I'll be incredibly safe in every way.

@NoDatingForOldMen
I totally understand. A younger guy I know said the same about his friends. Not incels just not interested

@Definitelycross …100% no judging. Your body and you need this…r then go ahead and keep safe. Enjoy a lot

Mirror balls

if someone hasn’t got the backbone to have a vaguely challenging conversation

you’ve nailed dating problems there ! Or a decent percentage one in these turbulent divorced times

Mila14

try not to worry abiut cats too much
maybe you won’t nail this till a wiser 2024 hits us

you will figure out a way with this and MR Ex

one thing you said was he seems to be saying ‘I’m ready and I’m fine ‘ without having addressed his issues
thats a pretty boundary pushing thing
does he know that’s a breakdown for you ?

And Jesus this weather

it’s hard for anyone to be joyful and chirpy and optimistic , and approach any interaction with an open positive mind sometimes !

I just made myself go for a run and do weights

it did perk me up

Oncey…I was NOT looking at all. I have now got off it completely But he wrote and OMG…6’3” athletic and just wonderful. Divorced 3 years ago. Bit posh but I like posh.
He is very open and very keen and really easy to talk to. He’s jus beautiful without knowing it. Mr Ex knows he’s beautiful and he flaunts it.
I’m videoing tomorrow and we will see…but I think I am going to meet him if anything because this is my last foray in OLD I think…I know this is just mental…
How are you feeling about Mr Cars ?

Yayy…wel done…did bodypump today and spinning yesterday. This is so good for your mental state. This week I’ve done gym every single day and God knows I needed it…

… seems to be saying ‘I’m ready and I’m fine ‘ without having addressed his issues

this is what I don’t know yet. It’s early days and I haven’t been enough with him (other than posh diners, movies and lots of sex) to see there is a good change.

I noticed he was more restrained alcohol wise when off to dinner but I really really need a proper chat with the sex googles off.

I know he wants to give us a go but I had such a bad horrid time when we ended it and I still get triggered if he disappears with a dark mood. He has apologised after I told him I’m absolutely not happy to be triggered and I don’t want to fall back in old tricks.

Im not sure of anything but I have finally ditched OLD totally. I need to see what happens with these 2 beautiful men

Glad to hear I’m not the only one stumbling through OLD without a clue what I’m doing

Still heard nothing from MrGhost and I’ve decided that I’m actually ok with calling him out. It takes 30 secs to send a message just saying family emergency, can’t chat for a bit or something like that. And if he can’t communicate something so simple then he’s it right for me

In other news things have ramped up with another guy, we’ll call him MrFootball as he plays Sunday league. Moved chatting onto WhatsApp and he seems very nice, has even asked for a date next weekend! I have no idea what I’m getting myself into but we’ll see

Laughed when someone mentioned the weather ! How are you supposed to dress up nice for a date when you have to wear 45 layers then hide it all under a waterproof coat. I am currently "talking" to 3 guys and not swiping through anymore. Will see how these pan out then give the apps a break until after Christmas. Dont want to be addicted to my phone in the holidays. Am hoping in the lead up to Christmas there will be a few nights out with friends/work etc to meet some men in real life. Will re-assess in the new year.

Go for it, if the guy is younger you should have a good time, take your own condoms and press a couple into his hand….

As for the relationship thing, some of the guys I know certainly don’t see any reason/ benefit being in a relationship so aren’t interested anymore

@NoDatingForOldMen yes. We've sexted - god that's so fucking teenage. But if he's as good in reality I'll have a great time.

Men definitely know that condoms are a non negotiable don't they?

I mean of course I'll bring some. But the wearing of them?

Tell don’t assume, I always use them with someone new until exclusive/ SH tests etc

Definitelycross

yes , condoms are a non negotiable for in initial casual
dont even second guess it

i remember the first guy I had sex with was a bit surprised (why I wonder 💭)
but he put it on

Thank you. Jesus I'm so long out of the game. I'm mortified

Mila14

mught be a good call to pause and see what happens with MR ex (and another new one !)
in Sorry it was so bad when in ended the first time 😞

im in an overseas business trip tomorrow

escape !!! Have mum cover as she approves of work related babysitting 😜

Definitelycross

i was the same last summer

don’t worry 😉 you’ll get your groove back

maybe think of them like pancakes 🥞

I hope this young one is enthusiastic 🤩

Here's hoping 🤞

I had another one telling me I'd enjoy him as he was younger and had more stamina 😂😂😂

@Thisisworsethananticpated I meant to say I love the pancake analogy - my motto for life 😂

@OLDstolemybrain …don’t even bother about Mr Ghost. Onwards and upwards…you have a new iron MrFootball, it’s looking nice!
Worsy…woohoo! Days without kids are soul savers for busy mums. excellent stuff.
@Findingmeagain …great mix …3 irons plus IRL eyeing. I think you will have very nice Christmas 🤶
@Definitelycross …I am sure you will enjoy your sexy rendezvous. Just enjoy safely

maybe think of them like pancakes
what’s the pancake analogy ?

I had another one telling me I'd enjoy him as he was younger and had more stamina
yeah - takes me all night to do what I used to do all night

NoDatingForOldMen

with a New sexual partner
first times usually a bit fast and first pancake like

but then you get into it ….

Im ambivs @Mila14 about MrCars which is annoying as on paper we have so much in common and he's very eligible. I think the constant texting has been an interesting experiment we seem to have reached him drum chit chat in just a couple of weeks and he seems to be referring (well once) as my boyfriend.

Im completely convinced we will be incompatible in the sack and it will be terrible but a pessimist is rarely disappointed and I won't know unless we go there.