Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

used viagra without telling me and was like a rabid bunny with a wobbly semi hard penis

would you expect your partner to tell you if he had to use viagra ?
would you think less of a partner if he needed it ?

I’m at that age range where is quite common to need a bit of assistance ( and I have some in my wash bag as a kind of mental “just in case’ safety net), but not currently needed

Interested to hear your opinions on this.

I think I'd prefer to know tbh.

More, just incase anything untoward happened.

I would actually have been really pleased if the last man I slept with had taken some. He kept saying he was going to, without me asking, but alcohol was more of a draw.

So no I wouldn't be against it, and I'm 55, probably the same way women my age might need a bit of lubrication (god I hate that word).

@NoDatingForOldMen it's not something I've considered 🤔 I don't think it would bother me so not sure I'd need to know but probably is something that should be discussed like a woman saying she needs lube etc. Mr city is 50 and for all I know he may have taken it on our last hook up and if he did I wouldn't think any less as sometimes age means we need help with things 🤷‍♀️

NoDatingForOldMen

wouldn't bother me
but this is the woman who has space brownies to alleviate date nerves so ….

This thread is very enlightening ha. Strange one for me tonight. Had been messaging someone for about a week, all quite flirty, no doubt it would only have been physical. Had been making loose plans to meet one evening but nothing arranged. Anyway, went on the app this evening and we are no longer matched - and all I felt was relief, which means I would have been totally wrong to go along with meeting up with him. Anyone else had this.

Worsy …space brownies?? What is that?

Howlongy, I have been spoiled in that Mr Ex is just unbelievable in the sack. In almost 7 years …even drunk…just ace. I think he just fancies me madly and I can tell. That is one of the reasons we could not be apart much and never really managed to enjoy anyone else sexually.
I would want to know about viagra and MrEx has been clear on occasion that he would use it if he could not “ahem” serve my needs.

Slothy, what is clear about Mr City is that he is not only a good lover but a nice man as well. You said he travels a lot on business and can’t sustain a proper relationship but that might change and to be honest, guys with top jobs at city have a very very demanding schedule ( Mr Ex is one of those top executives with crazy work hours)

100%. It’s happened to me too. You know it’s not right and then he unmatched you and you feel RELIEF

MrCars and I are on approx 72668483 texts per day. Which is hilarious as we both have senior responsible jobs (with a fair amount of time in phone calls where other people are talking). It's not sustainable I know it's not but I like how I've met my match with frequency and attentiveness and actually quite a few are about work. Today he was encouraging me to invoke my union rep about a very delicate situation. I was hearing first hand about a CEO resignation that must have hit the news by now plus musing whether we should have our third date in the city for more dinner, drinks and kissing OR go to his for home-based food n stuff. His lodgers swung it. Big city won.

I am beyond jealous- no but I'm so happy for you

When will my prince come? Or will I even have a prince?

Oncey…no question…top resto in city 💃💃💃💃🌶🌶🌶🥰
I like it very much he’s like you text obsessed. But the I also think…you have to nurture lurrrrve…and we are busy people …I think it’s laffly

@Definitelycross …you will get your prince and a proper sexathon too. It’s Oncey’s time

space brownies = hash cakes

Oh I absolutely do not resent anyone having any sort of a lovely time at all.

I'm just so envious 😬😂

Im currently living vicariously through you all 😂😂

@Mila14 Mr city reminds me very much of my ex who is also at the top of his profession and travels loads etc - I suppose this might not be a good thing given he's an ex however if he hadn't cheated I'd still be very much happily married still so i suppose i just have a type and mr city is the closest I've come to it so far I guess 🤷‍♀️😄

Fantastic news Oncey!! So pleased for you. I love to catch up with the updates.. it gives me hope!

We will get there @Definitelycross.

@NoDatingForOldMen I would want to know about any viagra use just in case something went wrong ie, side effects etc. I wouldn’t think any less of someone for using it though.

Yeah definitely don't be feeling jealous of me and MrCars. It's only been two dates and yet to test the (ahem) physical compatibilities - and I'm assuming we won't be. Don't know why (well I do). Also not even sure if he passes the 'could I invite him to my friends and family?' test at the moment. But it's very nice having someone to have posh nosh and drinks with. I like getting dressed up and the texts are great too. We seem to have similar brains/interests.

Oncey…I’m a sucker for dressing up and posh restos…no apologies there. It’s early days but if you fancy him…just enjoy the lot

I just don't know if I do yet @Mila14
Need to do more research. I might just be a horny woman who'll kiss anyone right now.

And that’s perfectly fine too 😊

The horny woman comment made me laugh Oncey. I'm perimenopausal and all my friends of similar age tell me they've gone right off sex. It's the polar opposite for me or maybe that's just a case of not having had any for so long!!

Felt a bit 🙄 about Mr Fish again today. One of the reasons we connected so well is because we work in the same small sector and we spent an awful lot of time talking about work. We discussed a mutual work project together and with a colleague of his when we were still together (alrhough the work colleague was none the wise obviously). Today the colleague emailed me "on his behalf" to continue the discussions. Made me so annoyed. Was so tempted to send him a text with an arsey comment but rose above it... so far. Awkward when things spill over professionally.

I suspect Peri has a large part to play in my recent (and rather sudden) interest in men. Was a bit worried that I might just be taking advantage of the first available man who showed willing, but it hasn’t turned out quite like that. I was thinking of delaying HRT in order to enjoy the ride, but my appointment has been cancelled twice now, and anyway there is no ride, so, meh!

Mr2Pugs has cancelled on me. I do understand, he’s been working 18 hour days all week. But I’m still frustrated with his lack of availability (in more sense than one). I may not have the patience to see this through. It’s not my strong point, although my gut feeling is he’d be worth it. And I generally go with my gut.

So he is not taking you to a Berni Inn then ?

Can I dip my toe in and ask where you would try OLD?
I don't want to pay initially as I am not sure it's for me. But my social life involves walking my dog....!!
Thanks!

Oh Eeky… are you still chatting as much on the phone? Have you noticed any change in comms? I think you need to go to def con 2…”do you fancy me?” “Are we going to get a proper dinner date at some point?”
I have more questions…is he separated living on his own home? Is all settled financially “re separation”?

hey, been lurking and I would like some advice please.

been chatting to a man for about a month now and we’ve met up once. We both have kids and busy jobs so hard to fit in but we have been messaging several times a day, sending video messages, FaceTiming, basically being in touch throughout the day. Then Tuesday night he went AWOL. Messaged me the next morning to say his ex had had a problem with her daughter and he’d needed to pick up his kids, ended up staying there until 2am etc.
I replied saying that sounded tough but he did the right thing by his children etc.
haven’t heard from him since!
messaged him Wed to just ask if he was ok and nothing

so today I messaged him saying that I was disappointed he had basically ghosted me, that I liked him and thought he liked me too, that I had hoped he could have been upfront and honest with me

i sound like a mentalist don’t I? 🤦🏻‍♀️ did I do the right thing or is there anyway back from here? I just keep thinking what if the situation has escalated and he hasn’t had chance to contact me?

for background my exH used to ignore me/disappear as a means of punishment and it just triggered something in me ☹️