Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OMG have missed so much.

Bra- loosingly gorgeous, another amazing turn of phrase!

Yes I am the creator of ' bonkathon' - when my fwb and I get together it truly breaks all the records !!

@NoDatingForOldMen didn't realise you were such an energetic lover, Mrs Noshow much be delighted!

Am planning my next date with an old Iron who popped up again, lets call him Mr Yacht, now, he was such a fabulous snogger I literally melted, so of course I cannot resist and will be going in for Round 2 even though I know it won't lead to a blossming romance.

Enjoy a lot Signora…you keep us all interested in bonkathons 😂😂

I don’t want to grow old alone

that’s a very fair comment Mila
its making me think what I want
in some ways I’ve only been a single mum for a few years so I don’t know what I want
and then my sons mental health has been all encompassing

but I want to be someone’s special someone
and I want to feel loved

that’s it for now

Thank you Worsy…there’s space here for everything, and everyone….the good, the bad and the ugly…😊❤️. We are all in a journey …and we are refining our goals and our search and our wants and we are learning

@ChaliceinWonderland ( great name).
Energetic - no, a penis that mostly works, yes, I kinda knew she wanted to go round 5, but was too much for me - , I think it was hotel stay, we don’t normally have so much sex ( thank goodness), too much really

as for Bra- loosingly , how on earth do you women deal with these things, both my hands and the dammed thing in front on me, still a battle to undo, are there online workshops I can attend?

I am new to this OLD thing and could do with some advice please…

iron no 4… we have chatted online and spoken on the phone. We have a lot in common but, he is super confident! He has said that it is difficult to meet up as at the weekends he sees his teenage son and he works long hours during the week. He is looking to go down to a 4 day week and is available in the school holidays (he is a teacher). If he doesn’t want to see me, fine, I get it but, he keeps texting me several times a day and has said that he will call me in the week.

He has been married twice before and came out of a long term relationship in April. Apparently, this is the longest that he has ever been single.

I am just intrigued… do you reckon that he married or just want a ONS?

He probably doesn't know what he wants, considering his lack of availability he's probably just enjoying chatting to people and seeing where it goes.

OLD is soooooo much harder than I ever thought!! How do people actually end up with meaningful relationships out of this?

I was dating someone since August but he blew it out a couple of weeks ago as he decided he didn't want a relationship. Met someone else whilst that was going down the pan. Have only been on a couple of dates over the course of a month but there was a brilliant connection. Also, just blown out because he's not over his ex.

So disheartened with this. I've been online for over two years and hardly seem to find anyone that fits with me. And then it always blows out. I can't help feeling it's me. It feels like excuses all the time and surely if they liked me more, things would continue.

The constant rejection is draining and takes a lot out of my self esteem. I'm attractive, successful and have lots going for me. Why is it so difficult? I'm 50. Have spent so long on my own with my kids and really would love to meet someone.

I'm sorry it really is horrible isn't it?

I really struggle with rejection too - I never thought I'd get to this age and be in the market.

I think, from my interactions, that the men on there are as insecure about finding someone too.

My issue is that the few men that I thought I'd be happy with - when I look back at them - have behaved exactly like my ex did. I mean why would I want that? But I don't see it until I'm a fair way on and have got some better perspective.

And for if it works? One of my good friends married a man from OLD and they are so happy. Does that help?

@Definitelycross thanks for the reply. Just feeling so low about the dating process. It's so tricky for me to find the time to date and when I do invest in the process it seems to always go wrong. But at least I suppose it's all good experience and I'm gradually getting a feel for what I want - and don't want - going forwards.

Would agree that the guys do seem to be insecure about it too. Just getting to the stage of an initial match is quite hard. It can take weeks to find someone! I am a bit fussy I suppose. Someone will turn up and things will turn good eventually I'm sure. Despite all the knock backs, I am keeping the faith!!

Definitely feel your pain @Mumtolittleorange and @Definitelycross!! I have met a few nice blokes and had some lovely dates but, no elusive spark. I find it hard that I am genuinely looking for a serious relationship and there are so many game players out there. The process has been really surprising!

I am now just taking the view that it is a bit of fun and passes the time. If I end up with someone special, that’s a bonus..

Thanks @xfan. I will see how it pans out. I wish that people were more honest and up front!

Feeling the pain of finding someone I click with too

Had a date with MrMechanic and a cheeky little kiss. Chemistry is off the charts but we’re finding it difficult to carve out time to see each other. Both work FT, both have 2 children (him 50:50 and me almost 100% of the time) but we FaceTime a lot and he is very keen to keep in touch. Who knows how it will pan out

also been talking to another man and the chat is good but I’m not sure. I’m going to sound really shallow here but he mixes up his your/you’re, to/too, hear/here etc and it just grates on me 🫣 maybe I’m being too picky there

plus I really like MrMechanic not really enthusiastic about chatting to anyone else but am I limiting myself??

I really enjoy reading through everyone’s posts, even if I don’t get time to reply, because it makes me realise how everyone else is in the same boat.

hurrah to everyone having good sex. That’s definitely on my list too, if I can find the time 🤣

also been talking to another man and the chat is good but I’m not sure. I’m going to sound really shallow here but he mixes up his your/you’re, to/too, hear/here etc and it just grates on me 🫣 maybe I’m being too picky there

I work for a quite big company (30K+ UK FTE) and this is more common than you might realise, today someone used weather rather then whether in an email.

Ohmygod

Another pet hate I didn't realise I had.

Replies with just the answer. FFS how can we have any meeting of minds if you just don't even know how to keep a conversation going.

EG - what does your job entail?

ANSWER: selling houses.

🤦‍♀️

No. No. No.

I share some of those pet hates too. Am I too fussy or just have high expectations 😬

It takes months to find anyone and then two come along in a matter of days of each other. Both scenarios end because they are both emotionally unavailable or really, I think, because they are just not that into me!

It's so upsetting. I clicked massively with them both and there was loads of chemistry from both sides. Maybe they were faking it 🤷‍♀️

@PillowMist …I totally get you not wanting to put all the eggs in one basket and get over invested on Mr Mech but English is not my first language and I have the exact same “phobia” about you’re and your and must of been instead of must have been, etc. I just unmatch… I’m not on the hunt for inarticulate guys.
@Definitelycross …same. If he’s saving his time and not being explanatory and obtuse , unmatch away

Some people feel a bit lonely at times and “play” OLD I think… they have no intention of meeting anyone…perhaps they are in a relationship or just not over their ex…Not to worry, there must be nice people there too 😊

@Mila14 that's a good point actually. I think sometimes too you might have good intentions at the beginning but as you go through the process it shines a light on things that maybe you thought you'd dealt with or were over.

To be fair I think that's been the case for me too and deep down I probably knew both these guys were not for me longer term but just didn't want to lose the connection we had.

Perhaps it's time to try another site. I've been exclusively on Match from the beginning.

Very wise 😊

It’s overrated imho (joking. I don’t mind, I think it’s very measured and adult and if there were just a bit of flirtiness, I’d be delighted. Yes, I am still seeing Mr2Pugs. No, I am still not getting any! Although we have a Friday night lined up, which has possibilities)

Eeky, wear a drop dead gorgeous outfit for that Friday night. The important thing is that you are still seeing each other and keeping the comms as usual. It will get there eventually 😘

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss how do you make the height thing work? Mr2Pugs is 6’1”. I’m 5’1”. Aside from his (as yet unmentioned) view down my tops, it seems all disadvantage to me. I get neck ache. He presumably is going to get backache. (Once a physio, always a physio!).

Eeky, do you chat everyday? Is he complimentary? Is he meeting you anytime he can? Then it’s all good and he’s happy with your petite gloriousness. Just enjoy

It will be fine @Eeksteek! I am only 5ft and always seem to end up with talk blokes. My last partner was 6ft. You don’t really notice the height difference after a while. We are all the same height lying down anyway!