Dating Thread 235... Gird those loins for November

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Jeez that's busy.

I'm off to see Kevin Bridges tonight but I've got the best part of the day to get ready and up there.

This is my first solo concert or show so let's see how it plays out

So last night's date was disappointing in exactly the way I expected. He definitely wasn't over his ex and talked about her alot. I felt a bit sad when I first got home but am being philosophical about it this morning. I am in a strong place in my life and after surviving the end of an 18 year relationship I am not going to feel down over one failed date with a stranger, there's just no comparison. Whether it's for one night, one month or forever, I want someone who is emotionally available at least.

Findingmeagain

ouch
did you get an inkling of this before the date
lesson learned 😞

but totally get the post shit date sadness

Oh I'm sorry. I hate that feeling.

In fact I hate online dating.

After coming out of such a long relationship I know what I do and don't want and what I need. I think you sound the same.

Settling is not an option.

We go again but we really have to be true to ourselves. 🤗🤗

@Findingmeagain … better to see he’s not ready to date on your first meet up. There’s a lot more out there don’t worry
@Definitelycross … it’s brilliant when a date is this good and beforehand things are clear. I guess you 2 relaxed totally and enjoyed each other’s company . Did you feel any attraction for him?
Oncey… super best wishes with Mr Lodger date. You are meeting him far from where you are based? Just saw you are taking train to him ? Are you spending day together or evening ?

in other news I had fab evening as usual with Mr Ex. We went for a drink and then had dinner near my place. Mind boggling good sex as usual and breakfast together. We did talk. Many things have changed in his life … he’s keen for us to be a couple again . I love him but I want to go slowly and see whether changes are clearer and we can really plan and see. I’m enjoying not being over invested with anyone and I prefer to see what happens. I’m back with kids time and work travel so have not yet organised my next time off . He’s absolutely lovely and we still fancy each other crazy after all these years but I have changed a bit in that I now need huge assurance and clarity to just focus on us two. There is massive love and respect. That never changes. We’ll see

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes I am Signora M.

Agreed , nothing worse than a date who tells you all about the crap dates theyve been on.

Im back on OLD, cos I am mostly bored shitless most evenings at home with the DC.

Its invariably funny, passes the time and who know I MIGHT be lucky and meet a decent guy!

Can't remain Mrs Tv dinner and lustless forever nopw, and not have any gossip for the thread!

Oh and that phrase is to be copied and pasted, lovley time but no chemistry. Plenty of them in my last OLD-ing years!!!

ahhh@Mila14 good update. Sounds like you are in a good place with Mr Ex.

Thank you Signora… I feel quite at peace and letting events dictate how things go. I don’t feel I want to control anything right now.
TV dinners are lovely too…everything has its place but I do realise some of us need very good sex to feel energized and happy and nothing wrong with finding a good iron that can make loins burn. We are alive.
Upwards and onwards…good that you are back OLD

ChaliceinWonderland

i think it’s great if still entertaining you !
still seeing the 62 year old FWB?

Mila14
i didn’t have much good sex for a while and then no sex for what felt like years
so yeah it’s hard to let go of it now I finally have it !

Worsy… you don’t have to give it up. It’s working fine between you and Balkan. No need now to change anything. You seem in control of things

Mila14

ish
when we talk less and just hook up I’m ok

but when we are closer and talk all the time I get jaggedly
as it’s too close to home

im observing my own behaviour on this
mark my words I am

Observe yourself Worsy. Everything is ok unless you suffer. How are meds and HRt going. It’s quite a lot to adjust to . Observe what triggers you and what makes you sad . You need to feel good sex and Balkan are adding to your life

I’ve been good on HRT but last week very jittery and very achey
I’m going for a run to clear my head a bit

which will make me ache more !!!!

Awwww @Mila14 that MrEx without his terrible issues is really a good option but you are so right. Talk is cheap and actions are what counts.

Im heading home after 5 hour lunch date with MrCars (not MrLodger Milsy 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but yes same fella). He has many many many classic cars.

It was pleasant. It was fun. It was easy and natural. He chatted way more than me. I knew this would happen as he had already revealed himself to be a chatty fella and a story teller. We shared food. We kissed at the end but only a bit.

The old shallower me would probably be declining future dates but having learnt from a previous iron that full on pant-dropping attraction and lust can build from a small spark. He has a lot of characteristics and traits I like and a complete absence of many of the ones I don't.
He made it clear he thinks I'm hot and wants to see me next weekend which I'd like too.
I like having him constantly texting me and need to find out whether we have physical compatibility in the snogging dept

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

ah ! Thats a nice update
here is a to a slow burner

Brilliant news …Mr Cars needs time Oncey . He sounds your type in the really important things. You need a lot of communication and attention ( like me 😂😂😂). I think you need to see him again to see how you feel. He’s clearly smitten and you are a star 😊
Good job Worsy…a run is the right thing to clear the cobwebs

I'm so pleased for you - it sounds exciting

oohhh @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I likey the soundey of this one. a Slow burner is a good way to proceed methinks. Haha to the pant dropping lustfulness of previous dates, yeas been there done that!

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes and no, we don;t really communicate , just seee each other for occasional bonkathon . to be honest am over that and in need of a bit more ...
cuurently filtering out some candidates on OLD .. watch this space!

Loins are girded so watch out the next man who steps in front of ... la signora!!!!

Signora…are you interviewing for FWB or you want something more? What is it that you want to find ideally?

It's a brand new experiment for me this non-pant dropping slowness.
My while grown-up life I've gone for the overtly gwarjeous but this one is a meeting of minds and interests.
Will be interesting to see how the physicals play out

Oncey, it can definitely work. I’m a sucker for beautiful men and MrF wasn’t. But I was attracted to him ( before it descended on friendzone…). I think some guys are incredibly attractive once you get chatting and sharing ideas. Give MrCars a chance and also you have 0 pressure ( you are the pretty one and probably the most fancied). I think the thing with MrF did not develop because Mr Ex was around and on a new phase with me but I still think I would have enjoyed being with MrF in a relationship…I’m honest
MrCars is ticking a lot of boxes

@Mila14 oh I wish I knew. I think a casual-ish relationship would be perfect, no pressure, no drama. Not really got headspace for more....

Cheers @Mila14 I will. He's certainly very attentive on the text despite being a very busy man. As you noted I am a big fan of this. My friends say it would drive them mad but not me.

What's the deal with paying our way when dating someone far wealthier. I think I'll have a chat with him as we are both quite plain talking (query Asperger's). I quite like to go halves but sometimes would like it to be my shout.

My best and oldest two girlfriends are both millionaires and very coolly never let me pay for anything when we are out or holidaying and buy me deluxe gifts which I can't match but it feels ok. Maybe something similar in a romantic relationship? I've only ever dated blokes of a similar wealth (or way way less than me) so this also is new territory... 🤷‍♀️With my mate who has not a spare bean if we want to do anything other than stay in at hers eating pasta I'll pay.

I'll get it all clarified with MrCars.

He's been at a far race track all day and has maintained a cheery steady text stream of music, factoids and how floaty he feels after yesterday.

Oh and @Mila14 I don't think this is comparable to Mr Friendzone as you really really fancied him and his 6'5ness from the get-go. He was bra-losingly gorgeous if I recall.

All of my irons have been 6'4 or just below. No idea how that has happened but it is my favourite height. Always has been. I'm teeny.

MrCars isn't much taller than me a few inches maybe. 5'8 tops. I didn't have to reach up to kiss him.
Definitely not a gym bunny either and my previous irons have been keen cyclists, fell runners, surfers or weight lifting gym boys.
Look where they all got me! Precisely nowhere or worse...

MrCars plays guitar semi-professionally which beats height and chiselled jaws any day of the week for me.

Life got hectic but have just managed to catch back up with you all - although forgive me not namechecking - peri menopause has me barely remembering my own name most days 🤦‍♀️

Just to update I let Mr medic go today. I decided I wasn't feeling it enough - lovely guy but not for me unfortunately. He was lovely about it which was nice. I don't think I'll bother going back on apps this side of Christmas as am so busy with kids, work, hobby and coursework which has now fully kicked in, in addition to needing to sort lots of jobs around the house which currently feels like its trying to fall down around my ears 😖 maybe I'll encounter a sexy tradesman along the way 😉😄