DP mentioned in unusually intense argument - caused by build up of frustration over lack of intimacy due to anti-depression medication (his) - that he was particularly upset at me expressing unhappiness as he was seriously considering proposing this Christmas. We’ve been together for over a decade, successfully co-parent DCs, and the decline in sex life not due to ‘us’ - we actually have a generally lovely relationship, but it’s been made worse by life shite - new house, illness, menopause blahblah… It took ages to get my final divorce decree, so we just cracked on without getting married, and it never really made a massive difference to me BUT I did always imagine it would happen, and that as he knows exH was a massive let down in such things, and that I never really got properly proposed to, that it would be a nice, romantic moment.
The way he worded this made it sound like he’s perhaps been planning this for a while and that he’d looked at rings already. He then said he’d actually prefer I find one I like myself as he knows I have specific taste (I do, to be fair). Wanting to make up after the argument, and move on in a positive way, I agreed to look and give him a steer, but to be honest, it was disappointing that any element of surprise was gone.
So a few days later, I had a look but realised it was a tad pointless as I don’t know what his budget is - I reckoned it wouldn’t be massive as we have stuff to do around house and life it so feckin expensive these days, so rather than the traditional three months salary gubbins, which would have £10k-ish, I bookmarked a few between £1-2k. Tonight I mentioned I’d had a look and that I need to know roughly what the budget is. He told me a story about a conversation with his friend about his wedding band costing £45. With a sinking feeling I asked how that relates to this, and he said he hadn’t any idea about how much an engagement ring costs and the difference between the two types of rings, getting angry with me for ‘making him feel like a disappointment’. It descended into an argument and I walked away deflated as fuck, feeling unworthy of even a google to find out what an engagement ring is and how much it might cost (he’s in his forties for fucks sake, how can this be the first he’s hearing that you might have to budget before a proposal).
No idea where we go from here?!