Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

Slothmomma

did anything happen last night
it’s a shame as you clearly have some major chemistry for him
and he for you ?

I’ve got singlemumitis this week

i always forget how exhausting the first term is
and then every oct HT I’m all achey and fluey
yuk

@Thisisworsethananticpated what didn't we do 😱

😂😂😂😈😈😈😈🍆🍆🍆🍆

Worsy is slow this morning…bless

Slothmomma

oh yes
well , at this risk of sounding immoral you could keep him as a PT lover and keep another
if the ‘another’ doesn’t mind of course

although how us is single mums can manage two I dont know !!!

it’s going to be hard to go back to medic after a hot night like that

watch out for the day after oxytocin ❤️ feels !

Mila14
I’m slow indeed ! Not my usual peri meno vibrant self . Need to feel better and fast !!!

@Thisisworsethananticpated I'd happily keep him but don't think he will risk it because he knows I'll fall for him

But but but…can’t you keep seeing each other? As FWB or something? Is this just a one off? How is MrMedic ever going to compare to intriguing sexy MrCity?

Slothmomma

hmm
that’s very noble Of him !

@Mila14 that is my take on it from what he said about why he cancelled our original sleepover. I think he's as unavailable as me 🤷‍♀️

Anyway I literally have no childfree evenings now for weeks and he's travelling loads again up to Xmas too so it's probably the gods telling us something 😄

Slothy…seriously…it’s remarkable how ok you are about it…very grown up. I would be angsting and trying to get a second date pencilled in…
Mr Medic will have to make a bigger effort

@Mila14 I'm gutted he doesn't want more but at least this time he was honest. The option is there for the occasional hook up should I want but that's all it would be - just sex. I can do fwb with someone I don't want a relationship with but I know I do want more from/with him so I'll have to move on

😢

Oh FFS MrCity @Slothmomma what a bummer. Still at least you got to do all the things with him. Better to have shagged a MrCity than not? Hope so.

MrCurly has sent me a no-frills hook up slot but without all the music and hilarious voice memos and witty texts it feels way to sleazy and transactional. Nothing drawing me to him. As mindblowing as last Saturday was I think I'm done. He's clearly not into me as a gf for whatever reason so I think my self esteem will take a bashing if I continue to see him for cold emotionless shags.
I dunno. I guess there's FWB and there's sleazy hookups.
Im not sure I'm up for the latter without the flirting and two way banter etc.

I don't know how to reply to his proposal. Maybe I shouldn't reply at all. Just let it slide as others have done to me in the past. Yes I'll do that. He's very halfhearted anyway so he probably won't notice or care. Which I guess is a good thing.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss yeah no regrets, I went to his fully aware that sex was all it was but I wanted to try him out 😉 Sounds like you got Mr curly out of your system too and are now ready to move on to next

Indeed @Slothmomma exactly that. Very similar too I think in that neither are actually available for anything more. Suspect MrCurly's very limited availability a major factor too. Dunno.
I think I'd be better off with delicious memories than revisiting for short hook-ups. Can't say right now. I'll sleep on it

Oncey…good that you sort the differences between boyfriend material and FWB. I agree, even for FWB there has to be something special between you and some sort of banter friendship.
I admire you ladies that can compartmentalise love from sex and friendship. I just can’t bring myself to do just that.
I need advise…
MrF is too bloody busy to text me 🙄…so he calls me everyday which I think it’s different? He never compliments me and is quite shy. No love bombing here or banter of any kind. We always end up talking kids and daily life or politics and way of life. It’s so very different to anyone I’ve dated. MrEx was a serious love bomber back in the day, texting all day and full on limerance …and even today he always tells me I’m beautiful and lovely and blah blah. Mr F …NOTHING…is this even normal? I don’t know what he’s thinking but he’s planning next week when I’m kid free and will send me his availability. I know he’s crazy busy but we have a weekend there where neither of us us have kids.
He’s very tender and loving when we are together though and can’t keep his hands off me but I really don’t know ??.

@Mila14 I'm the same re fwb - my previous one was a friend and we went out for drinks and meals as well as hooking up. I like him loads and him me but we wouldn't work in a relationship as want different things. But he was flirty, complimentary and respectful so fwb worked for our summer of fun. I don't think I could do same with Mr city as I don't think all the other stuff would be there in addition to sex and I need the other stuff let alone fact I would like to date him.

I think Mr medic is similar to your Mr f. We chat easily but it's not really flirty which I'm not used to. But I suppose it's better than love bombing 🤷‍♀️

@Mila14 with MrF it's not about what's normal is it but what works or doesn't work for you. Your gathering early data and you can just log this fact and your displeasure of it but sit with it. It's not a sackable offence in itself but may indicate an incompatibility or something like when I noted MrArt as tall and eligible and fun as he was and verbally into me the lack deep questions or curiosity about me was an early indicator that he wasn't actually into it.

Proceed but with caution? We're here for you

But this is the thing Slothy…he’s totally tactile and besotted when we are together. He just does not express in text or telephone call. Also we had 3 brilliant dates and he’s a total gentleman but no banter at all on text and he’s quite serious. I was really close to DTD on date 3 but decided not to as he had to leave and I would not see him for over a week. Anyway…I actually prefer him not being a love bomber…I already had that before

Mila14

think it’s nice and healthy actually
he calls daily which is lovely 😊
and it’s early days x
I think he’s managing boundaries , going at a pace but clearly likes you

I don’t know about you but I found the constant texting with my last two irons really really REALLY stressful
intoxicating to start with yes , and addictive
then stressful as fxxk

anyway I don’t think this means he’s not into you

and look at the texting with that one (can’t remember initials ) older with ED
well that turned to shit didn’t it !

@Mila14 it all sounds fine to me if he's affectionate in person

MrCurly has sent me a no-frills hook up slot but without all the music and hilarious voice memos and witty texts it feels way to sleazy and transactional. Nothing drawing me to him

yeah screw that . Be nice or don’t bother curly

I’d actually leave that unread

Oncey…MrF wants to know everything about me and my life so that’s a massive green flag…but I’m used to be told sweet nothings and being admired by my date. He’s just not regaling my ears and no banter. He’s very witty though and I don’t see this as a red flag. More like he’s very cautious about his feelings and quite traditional to be honest.
thank you for being there… 😘😘 I will just have to wait and see what happens

Worsy yes…MrO was banter and texting non stop and being all “you are beautiful/sexy and blah blah”…it was total SHIT. I agree.
And yes he calls everyday and knows what I’m doing and is genuinely interested in my life and my kids. He goes slowly…