Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers … seriously… before you even call anything a relationship and talk kids … you actually need to have intimacy and sex . I don’t know why it hasn’t happened but you need to go out there and enjoy life while you are young and have no responsibilities

... I've never asked it in the beginning of a relationship. I get nervous enough funding a man, so I've never mentioned it yet unless I'm comfortable.

@Mila14 it's not my fault I haven't had sex, I want to, but I'm not the sort of person that can just approach a man. I wish I was.

Please don't worry about that. It will happen when you relax and feel its right but you need to go out there a bit. Do you have friends to go out with?

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers … you are still beautiful and young with a life ahead , whatever your disability. Try to focus in your studies ad friends and doing your hobbies too

I did have some intimacy with my ex, but we were waiting to have full sex at a later stage.

I can't 'just get out there.' That may be something that other people on this thread can do, but with my physical issues, I can't even get out of my bed some days. Do you expect my mother to take me to find a man? I really think not.

My friends all have their own lives, and most of them are older than me. I don't feel comfortable finding friends my own age In case they have a family, because I'm worried I'll resent them, which I don't want to happen.

I can’t decide whether to block, or to wind him up a bit and run a book with my friends on how long before he asks me for money, or nudes. Will probably just block. He’s full of shit.

Mr2Pugs, however, is lovely. He said he felt awkward about saying goodbye, and didn’t know whether to give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek. I see his point. We are having lunch near here on Saturday as he’s picking up his kids in the afternoon. Slightly worried I might run into family (which would mean making sure they don’t accidentally let my daughter know. And putting up with a lot of ribbing, as I’ve been vehemently anti-relationship for years!). It might be harder to keep this neatly compartmentalised than I thought. Also slightly concerned that he’s a likely got a much better income than I have. (I think that does matter, if you want to be out doing things). I’m at rather a career crossroads, so mine may pick up. Or it may not. It’s also occurred to me that there is no good way out. More angst. For another day, though. I start a new job tomorrow, so I need to get my head in the game.

@Eeksteek I'd block him. He seems the egotistical type.

Nice work @Eeksteek glad Mr2Pugs adventures were 👍👍

This will be my last post, but I'm just thinking....

How does someone know about being sexually compatible with someone else if you're a virgin? You won't have anything else to base it on other than the bare minimum, surely?

He seems to want to mansplain investing. I mean, if I wanted investment advice, why would I be on Tinder?! What a plonker. I suspect a scam. In which case, I can report him and save anyone else from getting sucked in. I’ll stick to Mr2Pugs, who seems genuine. He was tactful about his ex, which I thought was a very good sign.

@Eeksteek .., Mr2 pugs looks like a really decent chap. It’s going well Eeky. Hopefully your next date with him doesn’t involve anyone you know around. About the earning more than you… relax. Many of us had to take a backseat in our careers raising kids! You will be fine and he’s not with you for your money which is GREAT.

Make sure you check people in linked in and if you see something weird pay attention. You are starting to date now but you are remarkably well furnished up there in your head.
Do you feel like kissing Mr2 pugs and do you fancy him enough to DTD?

Eeky…super good luck with new job! No angst, you are just dating and getting to know an iron…enjoy

Oncey…any news from Mr Curly after “rompage” yesterday?

To be honest you must have some kind of idea of what you like, on TV, Mags, The Internet, people on this forum, this thread, are quite candid, do you see men and think I fancy this guy or that guy.?
Sex ( the act), is an extension of that, don’t worry about being a virgin and don’t throw that away for nothing.
I know I joke around on here about being some kind of sad of man ( which is true), but you have far more years to look fwd to than me, don’t wish them away.

@NoDatingForOldMen thank you. I agree with you. I don't really see a lot of men in my area. I live in a small village and most men are not the right kind for me, or coupled up. My ex was the last person I fancied properly, I think. 🤔

I don't intend to throw anything anyway, but I do worry that it will be too late for me to have the family I want.

No post-rompage comms from Curly (as expected tbh but would have been good manners for him reach out so helps me not fall for him so all in all this is a good thing & still won't care if I don't ever hear from him again -his loss if i don't and the bonkathon was a ONS he's in a terrible dark place so assume v much not emotionally available).

I've written to all my right swipe matches saying I'm deleting the apps until spring. A bold move as I enjoyed the frisson of each new message but on the other hand Curly and other previous lovers have set a v high benchmark for witty humour that everyone else falls short of my standards in that respect so no biggie letting them all slide without meeting.

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers Oh goodness. Those individuals who criticise you are the ones you do a short sharp stop of communication, block and delete AS SOON as it starts. Who in earth do these types think they are? They are rude strangers. 🤦‍♀️ I’ve been quite a number of years trying it all out now, giving them the benefit of the doubt, waiting to see, trying to be ‘cool’ and someone said to me last week .. unless they are adding a smile to your life you REALLY (unless you are committed) don’t need them in your life. Be strong. I am alone atm. Taking sone getting used to but have one app up and yes, if someone might add something I’d meet and go for dinner, coffee or a drink but that is just where it starts. Any stupidity and they are gone.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss .. so he’s in a dark enough place for rompage but can’t be arsed to contact you after. He sounds ‘delightful’ ..ring him directly and tell him what you think. Then you won’t be feeling like you do.😠

Its fine @Bingbangboom he's very much not boyfriend material.
We are a terrible match in so many ways and I was the sex pest who enticed him into a physical situation on Saturday night.
Him not being in touch works well. Keeps my emotions in check whilst dealing with the surge of oxcytocin I'm good.

Mila14 Sorry for the late update. Yes we DTD, he was very different to how he was when I was seeing him 6 months ago. I wasn’t expecting to DTD after the many times I have been to his and nothing had happened but I was ummm prepared, I have wanted too for ages. I was kind of hoping it wouldn’t be that great and I could kind of move on but it didn’t go as planned. He was very tactile (again I didn’t expect this) and we are pretty compatible 🤣. I am trying hard not to over think things, I am a big over thinker. I’m not sure what happens next, he text me to check I got home ok before I had even got home, and said we must meet up again very soon. I’m not sure what this all means, if we are just f#cking or if it’s more than that. I guess I will just go with the flow. He’s not huge on texting, I really want to message him today to tell him I am still thinking about yesterday but I am shit scared of rejection, been doing this for so long and been ghosted and dumped so many times. I need to be brave and be more open with him or I will likely just push him away.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

i can’t bet that when curly gets horny he’ll be in touch

you had a high quality ONS and hot sex

so watch and wait I say ….

not saying you want to get back there
but I bet you £10 he’ll be back

Tbh I really don't care if he doesn't get in touch and I'm the one driving this have already thought of my next baited proposal for him if I do or don't hear from him.