Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

I'm not criticising anyone's advice. Potential irons have very sadly made comments about me studying because of my age. That has happened.

I couldn't have dated while I was working as I was often exhausted, and and poor mental health caused by my manager's treatment of me.

People have also reacted disdainfully when I have said I still live with my mum. The only person (aside from my ex) who has not minded was my first iron, because he had similar living circumstances. He wasn't physically disabled and had a job, and was much older than me. He admitted that he still lived with his mum as she 'didn't ask him to pay rent.'

I think I worry because of my biological clock as well. Every day I can just feel it ticking.

I think this us the issue for most of us. I think I rushed into marriage because of this too.
i think you need to be proud of who you are and what you want in your life and not worry so much about other people’s judgement. You are still young and can have your kids. Don’t worry so much and focus on you , your mental health, your career…

Yeah, I have noticed that women sometimes make the classic, “size doesn’t matter” comment, - but then comment about size 😂😂.
but saying that prefer women with bigger boobs, so I’m not one to talk am I 🤷🏼

@Mila14 👍🏻💋❤️

I just hope I can find a man in time....

How old are you @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers ?

Taylor Swift really is genius. She absolutely captures human condition. Like a modern Shakespeare -he got it and she also nails it -have listened on repeat to her ‘All too well’ last year.

@Lovemusic33 … I remember MrCherry… he wanted then to be just friendly and drive you a bit mad!!. Good luck with it and report to the mothership 😎🤗

@Mila14 nothing up with Mr medic but nothing really to report. We were supposed to see each other at the beginning of week but he was ill so had to cancel. He's now away with his kid and I have mine for half-term too and then won't have a free weekend for a few as I'm covering exs weekend. We're still in contact but I'm not pining for him or anything 🤷‍♀️

I've muted all apps - not because of mr medic (we aren't exclusive or anything) but I've realised that I just don't have much free time in run up to Xmas so no point looking for more irons as I'll struggle to see Mr medic let alone any others

Ok Slothy… I detect you are not crazy or over invested. You are going slow with him . Is he partner material for you?

No @Mila14 I'm definitely not over invested and happy to take things slow. Too soon to say whether I'd consider him partner material - it will depend whether sex gets better as life is too short for bad sex

That’s him 🤣, I have stayed away from him all summer as he was driving me nuts.

So I went to meet him today for a walk, he seemed to be in a hurry and kept asking if I wanted to go back to his for coffee. He has asked me back several times before and all I got was coffee (a bit disappointing) so I played it cool and suggested we walked somewhere else, his walking speed got faster and then he asked again if I would like to go back to his. I didn’t get to finish my coffee 😉.

Cor this thread moves at pace!

@Mila14 what a marvellous new move forward with tall handsome professional MrF - lost your bra made me laugh as did eating all the contents of the fridge. Amazing you are already having logistics chats and assessing that you are on the same page. I bet he is well chuffed to have found you and the way things are going.

Looks like BIG and hard is the order of the day. I have been having delicious flashbacks of my evening with MrCurly all day and very much enjoying each and every one.
I must admit I was a bit 😳when I first saw what was on the menu but he was considerate and masterful and it was amazing. Less because of his size but despite it if that make sense.

Anyhoo. He hasn't texted anything by way of a check-in or thanks etc and in a way I'm actually glad as the first week of textuals between us was way too frequent and it's not the way to go with an iron I wish nothing more than an FWB situ with. I'll see how he's fixed for a repeat naked wrestling session next week if I don't hear from him before then.

Genuinely won't care (much) if that's the last I ever hear from him but doubt it will be.

I'm going to politely let my other chat people know I'm coming off the apps for the winter now as I am (again genuinely). Have had a great weekend of me-projects and kids (plus the unprecedented bonky business-time) and this is exactly how I'd like all future weekends to be until spring has sprung. No way am I meeting further potentials on dark windy corners when MrCurly can give me all I need for leisure time (if he's up for that)

@Mila14 i'm my late twenties. To all intents and purposes this is still young, but I'm very nervous around men, and I think it will take me a long time to feel comfortable enough around a man to want to get serious with them. So to that end, by the time I've achieved that, it'll be too late for me to have a family.

I mean, I'm still a virgin, so that'll give you an indication of how nervous I am around the opposite sex.

Indeed. I totally agree on this. I don’t know yet how sex will be with MrF but I will send him packing if its shit too. Life is too short and I want to have good sex.

OMG… did you DTD???? Is MrCherry now a lover ???? Tell me more… mothership awaits info

Since my ex broke up with me, my nervous feelings have intensified. I feel I can't talk to irons about my desire to have a family because they have used it against me or treated it as a 'flirty game.' (Mr Gambit did this.)

Oncey … you minx… you had a right seeing to by glorious bonky bonks fat cock… jealous moi?

im hoping for good “action” from Mr F but I’ve made clear we need time
He was mightily taken by my nude torso and boobs but when his hands were in my bum and crotch a bit too much ( I was wearing skinny jeans!!!) I had to stop him . It was very sexy and reminded me of all the foreplay when I was younger ( waaaaaayyyy younger)
We are clear we are looking for a relationship but we all know guys write they want a relationship and in reality they want something else. Im careful because I know what I want

But , you are a virgin , the boyfriend who promised you kids without even having sex with you is a mirage. No one knows if someone is partner material until you see at least you are sexually compatible. Especially someone young who wants a family. You need to tackle things slowly before you can think of kids . Have you thought of getting counseling? A good therapist should help you with the different areas you have problem with.

Wait what @Lovemusic33?!?!!??!? I totally missed that subtly worded last line picked up by @Mila14
Clarification or more info needed please.

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers I would have thought all or most singletons your age would be expecting to have kids. I would concentrate on finding someone you liked and at some point down the line ask 'Do you see yourself being a parent one day?' and if the answer isn't yes then decide to move on but I wouldn't be asking this at the beginning of a new relationship as I'd be testing how much they and I were compatible.

My XH and I split up after 6 months when we were 26 on this very matter. I was ready and definitely wanted kids. He wasn't sure and was just discovering club culture so we went out separate ways. He met someone else immediately and moved away from our home town I moved to London. Two years later we got back together (not the wisest decision I now realise but OLD hadn't been invented and he was the best option tbh) then two years after that got married and a year later had our twins which nearly killed us and our relationship...

@Mila14 I've tried CBT on the NHS, but it didn't work. I don't think I have enough money to go private, but I would if I could.

I have had a complicated history with men. The only men I have ever felt comfortable with are my ex, Mr Gambit (my ex iron who I have mentioned on previous threads, and to an extent, my first iron (an older men I met when I first started OLD)

Me and my first iron talked a lot. He was older than me (in his late 30's) and lived with his mother. We seemed to get on, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer on the kids thing, so I ended things. He was very sexually minded as well, which got daunting after a while.

Me and my ex were quite similar in that we were both nervous around the opposite sex. He's a very well educated man who works in education . He had a senior role at his workplace. I grew to love him. He brought up wanting a family with me before I did. He said he would support me and buy a house and get a more senior role within his workplace to allow this to happen. He didn't mind what I was and supported my studying. He always made time for me and nothing was too much trouble for him. Things ended because one day he woke up And decided he didn't love me after all. We were planning to meet up and have sex (after enjoying a passionate weekend at his house) but that didn't happen. He knew that I wanted a family and used it against me.

Straight after that I met Mr Gambit. He had the same interests as me. He also had a desire for a family. We did not get to meet as he didn't like the idea of putting himself out. I felt comfortable confiding and taking to him, and there were occasions where he was supportive of me. Him talking to me about getting serious turned into a sort of game and I realised that I didn't want to spend my life 'flirting' with him in a manner that would ultimately impact me further. I haven't spoke to him for months.

Now, I'm thirty next year, and I'm thinking that it's going to take me up to by mid to late 30's- early forties to feel comfortable enough with a man, even to contemplate having sex with them. And with this in mind, starting a family will be a 'no go' area because of my likely age and stage of life.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I've only really explored having kids with my ex and his views on it initially showed me that he had thought about the situation.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I think the issue might be my disability as well, thinking about it.