Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss What else do you have in your life apart from Mr Curly to fill your time and occupy your thoughts?

I find that life including work is so busy thats I don't have time to think about irons until late evening,I do check messages occasionally in the day and then I'm like 'ooh X has messaged' but I don't think to message first as my mind is elsewhere.

I have a date tonight but unsure whether to go.

He ticks a lot of boxes but I found him on Facebook and let's say he looks very different to his Tinder pic.

Is it worth a meet? I'm 90% sure I won't fancy him but know things can flow better in person.

QueenConsort

how different !?

Quite different! I don't want to say as it's a bit mean but his Tinder pics aren't representative. I know though you can't just go off a pic and can vibe differently in person.

@QueenConsort And you're 100% its him?
Has he used old photos on Tinder?

Could you tell him you've looked at his Facebook and his photos on Tinder are very different and see what he says?

QueenConsort

that’s nice , that you don’t want to be mean . If you get the vibes personality wise give it a go

but maybe construct a 2 hour date so you have a get out clause

Thanks both.

It's definitely him, they aren't old photos as such, just hiding quite an important physical trait 😒

I can't say about Facebook as I found him on there, he didn't give me his surname.

Good idea about the 2 hour window, I'm just not excited now.

I had another bad date last weekend 😕 he was as he looked but was completely over the top!

@QueenConsort ( Bang 👋, Onesmallstep here ) I think you should go, you just never know- unless you do already know and what you have seen on Facebook has properly put you off 👀 Based on the chats and what you already knew about him before FB discovery would you be keen to meet him ? I’m the eternal optimist though and I would want to see the real life version before binning off.

Hey step good to see you are still here too 😊

Yes, before the Facebook find I was looking forward to it. We haven't been chatting that long though so I don't know too much but seems polite, respectful etc.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

also look at anxious attachment
this is me , and knowing that gives me a better way of understanding why certain types make me loopy

I can’t tell you how many times Balkan went quiet and I totally assumed he was at a swinging party balls deep in 20 Balkan women
he wasn’t 😵‍💫😂
so yes he made me anxious through his fault
but also I carried some of this angst

but again realising how wack I can go is why I’m off the apps till I work it out !

All fine here. I have had my Dsis and DN visiting from abroad. Bit challenging at times as we are quite different and some of her views and mannerisms drive me to distraction. Probably not helped by me having started a new job exactly as she arrived. The job in itself would have been enough to deal with as it’s in a completely different environment/sector to anything I have done previously and one which in itself can be highly emotionally charged. Tying my comments in with the theme of this thread though Mr V has been lovely and supportive and when feeling under such pressure it’s become even more clear to me how special he is. People will have their own hopes and expectations when looking to date but for me it’s always going to be about who they are and how they make me feel as opposed to what they have.

@QueenConsort Is the physical trait his weight?

@Stepcount How do you feel about returning to the workplace?
Sounds like you've had a busy time of it, I'm pleased Mr V has been there to support you.

@SortingItOut thank you. I haven’t worked for about 6 years. Been financially okay as a result of pensions and inheritance following family passing but cost of living/changing needs meant I felt I should work. My transferable skills have lead me into a new environment. It is great to have that social element of work back in my life, plus the routine and focus a job gives you has come at a welcome time. The hours are a little antisocial so Mr V and I will have to make an extra effort in the week to see each other but weekends remain totally free so that’s good. Once DSis has gone I will find a new routine with it all hopefully.

@SortingItOut no, not weight, that wouldn't bother me too much.

@Stepcount glad to hear you're still with Mr V, that's been quite a while now.

@Stepcount There are so many pluses to working and not just the money,the extra social interaction is a big positive.
How much longer is your sister here for?

@QueenConsort Now I'm intrigued....😂

@QueenConsort …intrigued too about the “hidden” physical trait
@Stepcount …great that you are still doing great with MrV. I hope you enjoy new job too
Worsy…I will check the guy you talk about… but yes…I think it’s our lady brains that give us more to worry about than we should about irons. I see you are still thinking of Balkan… how long have you gone now without any contact? Call me an idiot but I always think there’s something strong there and difficult to cut. Perhaps there’s a happy ending there somehow

Stepcount

congrats in the new job !

Mila14

three weeks this weekend
21 days no contact ! As my new BFF Mathew Hussey recommends

and the fact he’s not in touch is good
as he’s either really upset with me
or knows it’s a bad idea to start it up again given the past 9 months

of course he’s in my mind still
but that won’t last forever x

well done @Thisisworsethananticpated it's hard work isn't it but you are doing the right thing!

I haven't yet heard from him about tonight, I'm hoping I don't in a way. I would have hoped someone would have confirmed by now, we made a rough time etc but who knows!!!!!

and yes it's always the ones that had what you imagined was potential that never really got off the ground that are the worst to get over, I found so anyway.

Feeling for you @Thisisworsethananticpated
It is those with the potential and the connection who are the most horrendous when they end.

Stay strong. Better to have enjoyed a Balkan and learnt from a Balkan than never had a Balkan at all? Or are you ruing the day you met him?

Je ne regrete rien with my OLD adventures. Genuinely learnt loads and yes it's been terrible upset at times (because I've stupidly overinvested in totally unsuitable irons waaaaaaaay before I should have done - this is something I need to work on to stop repeating)

I do regret the day I met my XH but again only because I stupidly got entangled with a broken bloke and had three kids with him.

So if I made plans yesterday with Mr Green to meet today at 7pm yet I have had no messages since, even after him saying we will catch up today do I assume it's on or off? and I'm not messaging, I did last night and he said he was just on his way out so said we can catch up today. This is why I cba with this a lot of the time :-)

Thanks, will be nothing to report for some time, just got over Covid (again), have to take elderly parent to hospital in a couple of weeks, so not doing anything for a while, just wfh and watching reruns of Bangers & Cash, lovely.
I have been invited over, but will put the off until next month now.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

no I dont regret Balkan
but im genuinely clear it’s for the best we aren't speaking to each other !