Mum on a date - no contact!

[Shouldiworryaboutthis]

I’m not sure if I'm over-thinking things but my mother (late 50’s) went on a date today with a man from on-line dating. She said she would message me in the day to let me know how things were going, I have not heard from her and she hasn’t received/read any of the messages I’ve sent. She is quite a trusting person and in the past has allowed men from on-line dating come to her home for coffee when she knows very little about them. I advised against this and she has not (as far as I’m aware) done this since.
Should I be concerned?

Definitely ask the police to do a welfare check OP. I’m sure she’s ok. You sound like a great daughter!

Please update us when you can, OP. Hope she is okay.

OP, your posts read like you badgered your mum into agreeing to message you when she's not really much of a phone person (some people genuinely aren't). It sounds most likely that she's left her phone in her bag and not checked it. I bet she's safe and will be quite bemused when she realises how much missed calls/messages she has.

I'm sure she's fine and doesn't realise how much she's worried you. She's a grown woman - if she's got this far through life without being dependent on a mobile phone, well, it might feel alien to us, but it's how she's chosen to live her life. Next time, it might be easier for both of you if you could persuade her to check in with a friend like her neighbour. Must be quite awkward checking in on a date with your daughter...

Many of us see the whole checking in during and after a night out (particularly on a date with a stranger) as an essential part of making sure our friends are safe. It's part of being a young woman these days. Some older people are more blasé about the whole thing (it'll never happen to me) and don't understand how it's hardwired into our behaviour.

Exactly.who is always in touch.who’s phone is ringing out.
do people just pick a poster and decide they’ll be the one they go for that day?

Hope she's okay op and just had a good evening.

Marking my spot to check she is ok

@Shouldiworryaboutthis any news OP? Hope all is okay, it’s probably fine but I would be worried too

That's what Watch this thread at the top of the page is for, @Boreded . That way you have no need to post just to follow the thread.

I'd just call on a neighbour to go check

Can you ask police for a welfare check?

It’s a wonder you haven’t been represented as a troll, happened to me when I asked for help with my daughter in the same situation. Mumsnet at its worse😔

I would drive to check on her.

I'd be concerned.

Even if she is just have a great time and ended up shagging him, she surely must have been to the toilet or had a few seconds alone by this point? Enough time to quickly glance at her phone and text the words "yes, I'm fine thanks".

Hopefully, she's had a good time and just gone to bed having forgotten to message you.

Did you find your mum yet ?

Next time, ask her to send a photo. of him, and his contact details to you.

You poor thing.

This is distressing for you OP.
I hope you are both ok.

Oh FGS.

If my mum was going on a date and I asked her to do that she’d laugh at me and tell me to jog on.

It’s natural for OP to be a bit worried; I think as adults we start to worry about our parents in the same way they worry about us. It’s not ok to start dictating how another adult lives their life, or expecting to be involved in all of their choices.

It seems to me that it’s different for each person. I’m the Mums age and if I had said I would let my adult children know I was ok I would do just that. Selfish not to in my view, unless something’s wrong. Seems that op has gone to sleep. Hoping all is well but I think she has every right to be really pissed off with the Mum myself.

Hope you’ve heard something by now

Please update when you can op.
Hope all is okay

Hope you have heard from her by now.

Depending on phone compatibility, add her to ‘find my iPhone’ or an equivalent, so you can track where she is.

Exactly.
And the first, most basic rule of OLD is meet in a public area, tell someone where you’re going.
Hope your mum’s ok, OP, and you’re a caring daughter, it’s not interfering to be concerned for her safety.

Any word from her @Shouldiworryaboutthis ?
Hopefully she just had her date and forgot to put her phone from silent 💐

Hope alls well

Shes 50 years old, not 90 and senile. You don’t need to be tracking her and while it would have been nice for her to message you she’s probably just forgotten.

Asking the police to do a welfare check is massive overreaction. Especially when the likelihood is she’s just fallen asleep.

Imagine if the date has gone really well and then the police turn up to do a welfare check - it would 99% scare the poor guy off.