Mum on a date - no contact!

[Shouldiworryaboutthis]

I’m not sure if I'm over-thinking things but my mother (late 50’s) went on a date today with a man from on-line dating. She said she would message me in the day to let me know how things were going, I have not heard from her and she hasn’t received/read any of the messages I’ve sent. She is quite a trusting person and in the past has allowed men from on-line dating come to her home for coffee when she knows very little about them. I advised against this and she has not (as far as I’m aware) done this since.
Should I be concerned?

OP, go check on her. Best case scenario is that you and your kids have a disrupted night for no reason because she's fine. Worst case scenario is that you do nothing and wish you had. Chances are, she's fine, and we

Sorry, hit wrong button too fast!

Chances are, she's fine, and we all hope she is too!

Oh Christ, leave her alone! She’s a grown adult. Chances of it being anything to worry about are much much lower than the chances that she’s having some fabulous sex with a man she just met. Yes, even mums are allowed to have sex sometimes. I’d be mortified if one of my kids decided to bundle up their kids and check up on me in the middle of the night because I hadn’t called them back.

Once you speak to her tomorrow maybe talk about having location sharing on your phones, so that when something like this happens to either of you the other can find out where they are.

And tell her if she can’t remember to contact you, not to say that she will. It causes unnecessary worry, if she’s going on a hot date she should leave details with a friend or something, but having you panic when she doesn’t call you back after a date is just daft. Some men are creeps of course, but the most likely outcome here is that her phone ran out of battery, or she’s at his house/a pub etc with no phone reception.

She said the phone is ringing out, so not ram out of battery or no signal.

Ok so it’s in her bag and she went to sleep?

but the most likely outcome here is that her phone ran out of battery, or she’s at his house/a pub etc with no phone reception.

Her phone wouldn't be ringing in either of those situations, and OP said it is.

She agreed to update her daughter. If the plan had been speak tomorrow then I’d be less worried but she said she’d update.

Given she's got form for not getting in touch I wouldn't worry. If she was meticulous about it/it was out of character, I'd call the police. But as she isn't, I wouldn't.

Because she said she would update the OP during the day makes me a little concerned.

I agree that you need to say to her she either sticks to contacting you when she said she will, or not arrange to contact you.

I had a friend attacked via old. She then said she would set up contact to keep herself safer but went back on that. I'm happier now not knowing when she is on a new date.

so a woman has gone on a blind date hasnt told anyone where she'll be and everyone likes leave her alone shes probably having fun

really?

@SteveHarringtonsChestHair That’s why I asked if I was over-thinking, I just worry that’s all. Her phones not off, as it’s ringing. I think I will try and put something in place in future, she’s friendly with her neighbour so maybe I’ll ask her to give me their number.

I would be over at the house this evening to check she is ok.

my mum (74j lives alone and if she doesn’t answer house or mobile I’ve bundled the kids into the car and driven to hers to see if she is ok . I’m a worrier. Everytime bar once she has been fine, I drove over one day and she’d had a stroke and needed an ambulance!

Is there anyone close to her that can do a quick check up?

Maybe when you hear back from your mum just mention that it did worry you and in future just let you know for peace of mind. I know she’s an adult but she’s still your mum and you are going to worry like she would with you. Hope all is well! I reckon she’s just having a good night / or she’s fallen asleep!

Does she drive. Do you know where they were meeting.

But surely she would hear the phone ring even if she doesn’t check it when she’s out

She probably put it on silent as she was meeting someone for a date.

@Shouldiworryaboutthis how far away is 'too far'?

I'd go because I wouldn't be able to settle until I'd checked if she was ok.

I'm your mums age. I'd appreciate you checking if I'd said I'd keep in touch & hadn't. If you disturb them, she only has herself to blame!!

sort out the 'rules' for next time, so this isn't repeated!

She doesn’t drive no, she uses public transport, they were meeting for a coffee as far as I know but when I spoke to her, there was not a definite place and the time wasn’t definite either. I do wonder if she’s gone home and just gone to bed, I do hope she hasn’t allowed him in her house though.

The fact that she said she would message you in the day and hasn't, and & hasn't even read any messages, would mean I would now be going round to her house. Bundle children in the car and use your key to get in.

I wouldn't sleep for worrying about her.

If it was my Mum and I couldnt get hold of her and had no one local to check, then I would ask the Police if they would do a welfare check.

I wouldn’t worry OP, she’s probably just left her phone on silent in her bag or something. Hopefully she’s still having a fabulous date

Can you track her on find my friend (if you have iPhones)?

I think I’d worry, too, and want to just make sure she was ok.

I’m a similar age to your mum. Leave her alone.

OP, no one in their right mind will think less of you for checking. And even if they do, who cares. She's your mum.