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Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:25

This reply has been deleted

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BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:26

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:24

Evidently I will not be 'attacking' my examiners - and the academic staff at my university have been very supportive of my research, thanks all the same.

Yes - I will be passing my viva.

I see your attempt at throwing phrases like ad hominem around to try and seduce us all into thinking you are bright, but that has failed.

And in answer to your question - the laughing emojis were directed at your ignorance.

I passed my PhD viva 15 years ago. Well done for supporting the misogynist establishment in their continuing exploitation of women and children. You are evidently very proud of yourself.

I'm not interested in 'seducing' anyone, because unlike you, I'm capable of grasping that not all human interaction should be conducted through transactional sex.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:27

This reply has been deleted

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Oh dear. You now think that you can diagnose someone as a 'narcissist' via an exchange of posts on an anonymous forum. This is the standard of your 'research', huh. Well done.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:28

It's a shame that two posters have successfully managed to obscure, detract from and minimise the very valuable information and truth shared by the OP @Snowdust and the other genuine posters on this thread.

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:29

AdamRyan · 25/09/2022 18:26

Why don't you explain 1) what is proposed to be decriminalised, as prostitution is legal, 2) why decriminalisation rather than full legalisation and 3) how decrimalisation would benefits prostitutes directly rather than those around them (pimps, brothel owners, punters etc?

As you've researched it I'm sure those should be easy enough questions

I am busy. About to eat a burger. And you have asked many questions that I am not paid to labour over answering.

I suggest you might read 'revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers rights' by Juno Mac and Molly Smith. They are both sex workers and academics and frame the argument for why decriminalisation is imperative in a very sophisticated and compelling way.

It is a brilliant book and they are brilliant writers.

@BloodAndFire could do with educating themselves and having a read of this too.

This thread makes it very apparent that some people just have a problem with women sexuality, full stop. That's what you actually dislike isn't it.

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 19:30

@strawberriesonthemoon I know we're in a recession but there are other ways to make money that don't involve selling yourself for sex. You've been brainwashed - sex work is not empowering, most women are actually exploited (maybe not Sandra who seems very happy to be considered an object but I guess she's the exception). Would you want your daughter to be an escort? Such a feminist profession and very empowering. Remind her what you wrote your PhD thesis on please - you are advocating facilitating sick men in raping and humiliating women. Congratulations to you!

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:31

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Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 19:32

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 19:25

@Sandra1984 I have no narrative but as I said I worry about gullible women. Think about what these men really think of you: they see you like a piece or meat, an object they can buy. Us women should support each other and men should see us as their peers. Even if you select your clients, they know they can pay you and fuck you. You lose your humanity to them. And I can't even put in words what I think of men who use escorts - the lowest of the low (morally speaking). And they can be doctors and lawyers and very wealthy but they are morally bankrupt and I so so hope that none of my male friends does that. You will never change my mind and I'll continue to judge people like you and your "clients" forever

I don’t plan to change your mind, I was just posting my own personal experience as a sex worker, sorry not sorry if it doesn’t fit your narrative. This is what I have chosen and I’m happy . That “women should support women” thing you claim I guess it only applies to those who support your narrative? Nice one.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:33

This reply has been deleted

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Great. I hope you don't 'change your mind' again. Literally no one needs to hear the bollocks you've spouted on here.

I suggest you spend the time practising forms of argument that don't immediately descend into attempts to insult people personally. Good luck with that. You have a long road to travel.

Goodbye.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:34

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 19:32

I don’t plan to change your mind, I was just posting my own personal experience as a sex worker, sorry not sorry if it doesn’t fit your narrative. This is what I have chosen and I’m happy . That “women should support women” thing you claim I guess it only applies to those who support your narrative? Nice one.

Could you answer the questions I asked earlier please?

As a reminder:

How do you, via phone call, 'weed out'

  • men who are unwashed
  • men who will secretly remove the condom during sex
  • men who try to choke you
?

Thanks!

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 19:35

@BloodAndFire thanks for being the voice of reason while two people want to promote a completely different narrative of "empowered" sex workers and women "in touch with their sexuality". Shame that the reality is very very different. Hope the initial message sinks into anyone who would ever consider sex work.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:36

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 19:35

@BloodAndFire thanks for being the voice of reason while two people want to promote a completely different narrative of "empowered" sex workers and women "in touch with their sexuality". Shame that the reality is very very different. Hope the initial message sinks into anyone who would ever consider sex work.

thanks @forgotoldusername

Fuck knows what vested interests are at work in discrediting women like @Snowdust and others who tell the truth about prostitution, but it's important to call them out.

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 19:38

@BloodAndFire Could you answer the questions I asked earlier please

I already answered you that question in an earlier post. You seem to have a problem listening to sex workers and what we have to say.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:53

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 19:38

@BloodAndFire Could you answer the questions I asked earlier please

I already answered you that question in an earlier post. You seem to have a problem listening to sex workers and what we have to say.

I read your post. You didn't answer any of the questions. It was a lot of flannel about how you have mysterious methods that you're not willing to disclose - a pretty weird stance to take, if you were in any way interested in helping other women and girls to avoid the appalling abuse described by the OP and others in this thread.

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:04

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:53

I read your post. You didn't answer any of the questions. It was a lot of flannel about how you have mysterious methods that you're not willing to disclose - a pretty weird stance to take, if you were in any way interested in helping other women and girls to avoid the appalling abuse described by the OP and others in this thread.

No mysterious methods at all. Sex workers and escorts usually network and share our "safety tips" on sex worker forums, that's how we help each other. If you want to know how we operate, think, stay safe or what we had for breakfast I would encourage you to join one. You might learn a thing or two reading our threads. I'm defo not going to post that sort of information on MN.

AdamRyan · 25/09/2022 20:10

I am busy. About to eat a burger. And you have asked many questions that I am not paid to labour over answering.
😂
OK then. You popped up in OPs thread to raise your academic credentials, then posted on here about decrim so I thought you'd be willing to answer questions.

Enjoy your burger

Snowdust · 25/09/2022 20:18

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:28

It's a shame that two posters have successfully managed to obscure, detract from and minimise the very valuable information and truth shared by the OP @Snowdust and the other genuine posters on this thread.

Obviously i knew not everybody would share the same experience of what i posted but a lot of this is reality and many more women say the same thing to me who have done sex work. I too have met some nicer men that have not taken the piss or tried to and no bad hygiene but yet again i say this post is about a large majority of bad clients that take liberties.

As for vetting clients this only goes so far and anyone saying they will get the perfect client and perfect hygiene of having a 2 minute conversation on the phone is not telling the truth or in denial. I turn down many men that i do not want to see from my own vetting but it's still possible to take a booking from someone who seems friendly and polite for him still to be a nightmare in the meeting and still have no idea of what being clean means even after stepping out of the shower.

If some women love sex work that is perfectly fine it's there life and body but the post is for women that don't really want to do it but are thinking it will be fine as they need the money. Well before they decide to try it i wanted them to read my true experiences and experiences of many other women i have spoken to.

For the lucky women that only get the nicest men and no hygiene issues that is great for you. But maybe take a look at UKPuntung with how thousands of members on there speak about women. There is more inappropriate men that pay for sex then one's that do not. The nicer clients i have seen i do not judge them but i do the ones that think they are paying to take liberties or hurt us and they do this because they think nobody gives a shit about prostitutes well some people do and our british justice system does too as many men who have raped or robbed sex workers have been prosecuted. That is another sterotype that needs changing we have the same rights as anyone else but some assume we do not so they think we are easy pickings.

OP posts:
AdamRyan · 25/09/2022 20:19

I suggest you might read 'revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers rights' by Juno Mac and Molly Smith. They are both sex workers and academics and frame the argument for why decriminalisation is imperative in a very sophisticated and compelling way.

Having read the reviews that say things like The other strand is what they call “pro-carceral” feminists, who argue that tolerating prostitution reinforces patriarchy and who advocate “rescuing” sex workers by jailing and/or deporting them. I don't think I'll get far with that book.

I think tolerating prostitution upholds patriarchy, however I don't want to see prostitutes imprisoned. I want a lot more conversation about how to stop men using prostitutes and consequences for men that do.

Also I want a lot more conversation about how to deal with people who benefit from exploiting vulnerable women.

As usual on these threads it ends up being all about the prostitutes and not about the johns.

I'm also still confused about why decriminalisation rather than legalisation.

Tigertigertigertiger · 25/09/2022 20:32

@BloodAndFire thank you for talking sense.
I am seriously concerned about educational standards in our universities when

  1. people with that level of numbskullery have attained a degree enabling them to go on to do a pHd

  2. people are being funded to promote “sex work “ ( paid rape )

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:36

@Snowdust

I agree that you cannot filter hygiene standards in the phone but in my case any man who doesn’t meet them at arrival is politely invited to leave. End of. As per that uk punting forum I agree with you: it’s a terrible place and sex workers hate it. An incel mysoginistic forum with some of their members showing clear psychopathic tendencies. I’m shocked they allow it, but do keep in mind this forum is a very very small representation of people who pay for sex. I’ve never met a client who knew that forum, fact is most normal grown up men with a busy life don’t have the time of the day to sit infront of the screen and describe what colour panties his escort had. It’s mostly a forum of incels living in their mums basement trying to impress other guys with their sexual prowess. Very sad.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 20:40

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:04

No mysterious methods at all. Sex workers and escorts usually network and share our "safety tips" on sex worker forums, that's how we help each other. If you want to know how we operate, think, stay safe or what we had for breakfast I would encourage you to join one. You might learn a thing or two reading our threads. I'm defo not going to post that sort of information on MN.

Why would you want to keep that information secret? @Snowdust has done something brave and altruistic by posting this thread and sharing the reality of 'sex work'.

You have arrived on it to announce that it's all great and that the horrible experiences she's had are essentially her fault, since you have foolproof methods for avoiding any of those things happening to you.

And yet you don't want other women to know how to avoid those traumatic, horrible, abusive experiences. Why not?

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 20:42

Tigertigertigertiger · 25/09/2022 20:32

@BloodAndFire thank you for talking sense.
I am seriously concerned about educational standards in our universities when

  1. people with that level of numbskullery have attained a degree enabling them to go on to do a pHd

  2. people are being funded to promote “sex work “ ( paid rape )

Thanks @Tigertigertigertiger

I left academia in 2008, having got my PhD, lectured for a couple of years and subsequently lost faith in academic standards and integrity. Universities were full of some of the most ideologically biased, unreasonable, and essentially stupid people I've ever met.

I wish I could say that I believe that poster is lying about their funded PhD, but unfortunately I can't say that with any certainty.

Not when you have universities telling their female students to go out and be raped for money...

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:44

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 20:40

Why would you want to keep that information secret? @Snowdust has done something brave and altruistic by posting this thread and sharing the reality of 'sex work'.

You have arrived on it to announce that it's all great and that the horrible experiences she's had are essentially her fault, since you have foolproof methods for avoiding any of those things happening to you.

And yet you don't want other women to know how to avoid those traumatic, horrible, abusive experiences. Why not?

You seem to have a problem reading my posts so I’ll copy paste you my above one:

”No mysterious methods at all. Sex workers and escorts usually network and share our "safety tips" on sex worker forums, that's how we help each other. If you want to know how we operate, think, stay safe or what we had for breakfast I would encourage you to join one. You might learn a thing or two reading our threads. I'm defo not going to post that sort of information on MN”

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 20:45

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:44

You seem to have a problem reading my posts so I’ll copy paste you my above one:

”No mysterious methods at all. Sex workers and escorts usually network and share our "safety tips" on sex worker forums, that's how we help each other. If you want to know how we operate, think, stay safe or what we had for breakfast I would encourage you to join one. You might learn a thing or two reading our threads. I'm defo not going to post that sort of information on MN”

Why wouldn't you share that information on Mumsnet?

@snowdust and others have told the truth about the reality of prostitution.

Your posts don't reflect reality, at all.

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 20:48

@BloodAndFire Your posts don't reflect reality, at all.

Said someone whose never engaged in sex work to a sex worker 🤣😂🤣

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