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Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 17:00

Smilelesstalkmore · 25/09/2022 16:50

What's wrong with the Nordic Model?

A great number of things. You will have to do your own research to have comprehensive understanding of this, but in summary:

Under the Nordic Model sex workers are often forced to rush vetting of clients and work in unfamiliar areas, which increases their risk of harm. This is because the client is still criminalised so they exert a different kind of pressure on sex workers, that is often intensified, under the Nordic Model.

The Nordic Model is oppressive for sex workers. Sex work happens irrespective of which model is in place, which is why decriminalisation is humane and actually offers meaningful sex worker protection and safety. Plus the opportunity to leave sex work.

The Nordic Model is a fallacy.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 17:13

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 16:36

Well, no. Not at all.

This is you assuming that I am not someone who used to be in sex work or is currently a sex worker. How can you know this. Answer: you cannot.

Please do not jump to such toxic assumptions.

If you are against sex workers and sex workers rights, then just say that, rather than attack me for something you know very little about.

I very literally could not care less about you or your personal history. I haven't shared mine either, because - guess what? - it's not remotely relevant.

Your posts on this thread are appalling and shameful.

Who is funding this effluent? The AHRC? ESRC?

LucyInTheSkyWithDiamond · 25/09/2022 17:17

So how about we start listening to sex workers

Indeed, however you only seem interested in listening to sex workers who support your views. Your first post on here was basically telling sex workers who have had negative experiences to shut up because plenty of female sex workers are content in their work. You are conveniently ignoring what sex workers have said on here and have decided you are the authority on it. I'm not impressed by you at all

CookPassBabtridge · 25/09/2022 17:28

This thread makes me hate men! There ARE good men out there, absolutely.. I know a good few of them.
But this sleazy portion really stand out. A friend of mine said once that he thought prostitution should be as easy to access as getting a haircut, and I never thought of him the same again.. no matter how good of a friend he is in other ways. It just cancels everything else out for me. Same with general sleaziness.

Starfreeze · 25/09/2022 17:37

BloodAndFire · 23/09/2022 10:41

That is not to say that all sex workers should be encouraged to leave, IMO. I personally believe that we need to support women who are content in their sex work.

The absolute tone-deaf arrogance and glaring privilege of coming on to this thread, reading the reality of these women's experiences, and then promoting your own pro-'sex work' thesis while you sit at your desk... Horrendous.

Those were my thoughts too @BloodAndFire

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 17:45

I’m an escort (sex worker) too and my experience is quite opposite from yours. I’m on other directories (AW not being one of them). I like my escorting job and get nice people. I weed them thoroughly on the phone before meeting them. I don’t do it full time but combine it with an office job. I’m single and don’t have children. Obviously we’ve had very different experiences in sex work. I feel sorry it was so awful for you and hope you find better ways of making money that suit you. X

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 17:50

By the way, I’m an independent escort, don’t work for any agency or person. I have my regular clients and I’m in London. I got into sex work because I wanted to, because I enjoy the life style and make good money. I declare all my income to HMRC.

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 18:18

@Sandra1984 please don't glamourise sex work as some more gullible women on mumsnet might think it's easy money. You have an office job but decide to do sex work on the side? Let me ask you where's your dignity? You're selling your body - sorry I judge (and I know it's none of my business but surely anyone can have an opinion). I wish mumsnet didn't allow posts like yours

AdamRyan · 25/09/2022 18:26

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 16:47

Sex workers, the vast majority, do not want the Nordic Model. The Nordic Model is harmful, say very many sex workers.

So how about we start listening to sex workers instead of just making laws FOR without consulting them properly, and oppressing them further by removing their autonomy vis a vis telling government and policy makers what is right for them?

That would be a good start.

Why don't you explain 1) what is proposed to be decriminalised, as prostitution is legal, 2) why decriminalisation rather than full legalisation and 3) how decrimalisation would benefits prostitutes directly rather than those around them (pimps, brothel owners, punters etc?

As you've researched it I'm sure those should be easy enough questions

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 18:49

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 18:18

@Sandra1984 please don't glamourise sex work as some more gullible women on mumsnet might think it's easy money. You have an office job but decide to do sex work on the side? Let me ask you where's your dignity? You're selling your body - sorry I judge (and I know it's none of my business but surely anyone can have an opinion). I wish mumsnet didn't allow posts like yours

You wished MN wouldn’t allow posters like me because we go against your narrative? Well I’m all for free speech (sorry you are not). Believe it or not women have different experiences when it comes to sex work, I fully respect the OP’s opinion but it’s certainly not my experience. And believe it or not there’s quite a few sex workers on here, most keep quiet about it because of judgemental people like yourself.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 18:57

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 17:45

I’m an escort (sex worker) too and my experience is quite opposite from yours. I’m on other directories (AW not being one of them). I like my escorting job and get nice people. I weed them thoroughly on the phone before meeting them. I don’t do it full time but combine it with an office job. I’m single and don’t have children. Obviously we’ve had very different experiences in sex work. I feel sorry it was so awful for you and hope you find better ways of making money that suit you. X

How do you 'weed' out those with body odour, unwashed genitals, those who secretly remove a condom, those who want to choke you, on the phone, 'Sandra'?

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 19:08

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 18:57

How do you 'weed' out those with body odour, unwashed genitals, those who secretly remove a condom, those who want to choke you, on the phone, 'Sandra'?

Any job that involves working with the public you will have to deal with all sorts of people, desirable and undesirable, the good news about working for yourself is that you don’t have to deal with the undesirable. There’s many methods of weeding the undesirable type in my line of work once you gain a bit of experience. I won’t go into them in a public forum because I don’t know who reads this forum sorry. I’m sure you’ll understand. All I have to say is my clients are pretty decent folk.

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:08

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 17:13

I very literally could not care less about you or your personal history. I haven't shared mine either, because - guess what? - it's not remotely relevant.

Your posts on this thread are appalling and shameful.

Who is funding this effluent? The AHRC? ESRC?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I don't have any motivation to engage with your angry and misguided posts further so will not be returning to check this thread. And nor will I share with you who is funding my research - just know that it is 2 x well regarded organisations - one a prominent university and one a prominent research funding body.

Think: Leverhulme, ESRC, RG uni, that sort of calibre.

Also, if you are interested, which you probably aren't there was a fully funded PhD being advertised at another university recently, on a very similar topic to mine - decriminalisation of sex work. So... what does that tell you? That this is not as niche or 'disgusting' as you wish to make it out to be.

Just come clean and tell us that you feel threatened by sex workers. The truth will set you free angry person.

Why are you so vexed?

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:11

LucyInTheSkyWithDiamond · 25/09/2022 17:17

So how about we start listening to sex workers

Indeed, however you only seem interested in listening to sex workers who support your views. Your first post on here was basically telling sex workers who have had negative experiences to shut up because plenty of female sex workers are content in their work. You are conveniently ignoring what sex workers have said on here and have decided you are the authority on it. I'm not impressed by you at all

No, not at all.

I certainly am not the authority. Although, most people would agree that to speak authoritatively on a subject matter you either have to have lived experience or you have to have considerable research experience. Better still both.

So many would consider my voice to be authoritative on this subject matter, but I certainly do not hold myself out in such a way.

I am not solely interested in one side of the debate. I fully support sex workers who argue for the other side of the debate and I feel that it is extremely important that their voices are heard.

That's fine, I am not impressed by you either. So that feeling is entirely reciprocal. :)

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:12

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 17:13

I very literally could not care less about you or your personal history. I haven't shared mine either, because - guess what? - it's not remotely relevant.

Your posts on this thread are appalling and shameful.

Who is funding this effluent? The AHRC? ESRC?

Personal history is exceptionally relevant in this sort of conversation, as it happens.

But of course you are not compelled to share yours and nobody has asked you to.

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:18

Sandra1984 · 25/09/2022 17:45

I’m an escort (sex worker) too and my experience is quite opposite from yours. I’m on other directories (AW not being one of them). I like my escorting job and get nice people. I weed them thoroughly on the phone before meeting them. I don’t do it full time but combine it with an office job. I’m single and don’t have children. Obviously we’ve had very different experiences in sex work. I feel sorry it was so awful for you and hope you find better ways of making money that suit you. X

Finally - some alternative perspectives and voice.

Thank you for sharing.

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:20

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 18:18

@Sandra1984 please don't glamourise sex work as some more gullible women on mumsnet might think it's easy money. You have an office job but decide to do sex work on the side? Let me ask you where's your dignity? You're selling your body - sorry I judge (and I know it's none of my business but surely anyone can have an opinion). I wish mumsnet didn't allow posts like yours

Yes. You are quite right - it is none of your business what she chooses to do with either her body, spare time, or anything else.

Some people have to engage in sex work and have no alternative (not the poster that you are referring to, granted), but they do exist. How dare you judge them.

Your ignorance is not needed on this thread, really, it isn't.

You clearly do not know anything about the industry and it shows frankly. We are perfectly able to avoid glamorising sex work whilst also calling for a change in the law to allow for full decriminalisation.

This anti-feminist nonsense is really offensive and so very pig-headed.

Just go away!

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:20

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:08

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I don't have any motivation to engage with your angry and misguided posts further so will not be returning to check this thread. And nor will I share with you who is funding my research - just know that it is 2 x well regarded organisations - one a prominent university and one a prominent research funding body.

Think: Leverhulme, ESRC, RG uni, that sort of calibre.

Also, if you are interested, which you probably aren't there was a fully funded PhD being advertised at another university recently, on a very similar topic to mine - decriminalisation of sex work. So... what does that tell you? That this is not as niche or 'disgusting' as you wish to make it out to be.

Just come clean and tell us that you feel threatened by sex workers. The truth will set you free angry person.

Why are you so vexed?

Do you think you're going to pass your viva by attempting ad hominem attacks on your examiners?

What is so hilariously funny that you felt the need to post a whole line of 'crying laughing' emojis?

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:21

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 18:18

@Sandra1984 please don't glamourise sex work as some more gullible women on mumsnet might think it's easy money. You have an office job but decide to do sex work on the side? Let me ask you where's your dignity? You're selling your body - sorry I judge (and I know it's none of my business but surely anyone can have an opinion). I wish mumsnet didn't allow posts like yours

And we might ask where your dignity is - tearing down other women like this.

How can you ask someone doing sex work where there dignity is when they have made a choice to enter this career - and how can you do so when we are in a recession??

Disgusting.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:22

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:12

Personal history is exceptionally relevant in this sort of conversation, as it happens.

But of course you are not compelled to share yours and nobody has asked you to.

You said you weren't going to return to this thread.

Immediately afterwards, you posted another four times, including a second response to the same post.

It's good to have a clear understanding of the integrity and honesty of what you say on here.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:23

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:11

No, not at all.

I certainly am not the authority. Although, most people would agree that to speak authoritatively on a subject matter you either have to have lived experience or you have to have considerable research experience. Better still both.

So many would consider my voice to be authoritative on this subject matter, but I certainly do not hold myself out in such a way.

I am not solely interested in one side of the debate. I fully support sex workers who argue for the other side of the debate and I feel that it is extremely important that their voices are heard.

That's fine, I am not impressed by you either. So that feeling is entirely reciprocal. :)

So many would consider my voice to be authoritative on this subject matter, but I certainly do not hold myself out in such a way.

Now THAT is worthy of a long line of crying laughing emojis, if that were the level of 'debate' that I wanted to engage in.

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:24

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:20

Do you think you're going to pass your viva by attempting ad hominem attacks on your examiners?

What is so hilariously funny that you felt the need to post a whole line of 'crying laughing' emojis?

Evidently I will not be 'attacking' my examiners - and the academic staff at my university have been very supportive of my research, thanks all the same.

Yes - I will be passing my viva.

I see your attempt at throwing phrases like ad hominem around to try and seduce us all into thinking you are bright, but that has failed.

And in answer to your question - the laughing emojis were directed at your ignorance.

BloodAndFire · 25/09/2022 19:24

strawberriesonthemoon · 25/09/2022 19:08

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I don't have any motivation to engage with your angry and misguided posts further so will not be returning to check this thread. And nor will I share with you who is funding my research - just know that it is 2 x well regarded organisations - one a prominent university and one a prominent research funding body.

Think: Leverhulme, ESRC, RG uni, that sort of calibre.

Also, if you are interested, which you probably aren't there was a fully funded PhD being advertised at another university recently, on a very similar topic to mine - decriminalisation of sex work. So... what does that tell you? That this is not as niche or 'disgusting' as you wish to make it out to be.

Just come clean and tell us that you feel threatened by sex workers. The truth will set you free angry person.

Why are you so vexed?

It's not remotely surprising that the misogynist establishment has a vested interest in funding idiot women to write bullshit that justifies their exploitation and rape of vulnerable children and women. I wouldn't be shouting about it if I were you. It really isn't something to be proud of.

StopStartStop · 25/09/2022 19:24

Redqueenheart · 21/09/2022 18:22

I do hope you make it out of that hell soon.

I think it is important to read stories like yours because the next time some idiot starts bleating about how prostitution is empowering for women we can remind ourselves that the reality of it is grim.

This.

I am sorry you have found this necessary, OP.
Thank you for sharing with us things that we might otherwise not have known.
Thank you also to the poster who described the fantasies men have about humiliating their wives. That explains a lot.

forgotoldusername · 25/09/2022 19:25

@Sandra1984 I have no narrative but as I said I worry about gullible women. Think about what these men really think of you: they see you like a piece or meat, an object they can buy. Us women should support each other and men should see us as their peers. Even if you select your clients, they know they can pay you and fuck you. You lose your humanity to them. And I can't even put in words what I think of men who use escorts - the lowest of the low (morally speaking). And they can be doctors and lawyers and very wealthy but they are morally bankrupt and I so so hope that none of my male friends does that. You will never change my mind and I'll continue to judge people like you and your "clients" forever

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