Ah @ChasingRainbows123 - you need to stop asking yourself questions.
Let me try to reframe this.
(I had terrible boundaries, and successful therapy).
He didn't do anything wrong. He did everything exactly as he needed to do it, at that time. He did his best.
If you had his life experiences, and emotional capabilities; you would have done exactly the same.
There is the problem.
His best does not correspond with your self worth.
No matter what you did, his reactions and best effort would ultimately make you feel awful about yourself.
The relationship couldn't have worked.
It wasn't supposed to work. It was supposed to teach you something.
You're asking yourself what you did wrong. It's eroded your self worth.
If we sliced you in half, would there be a label saying 'here is @ChasingRainbows123 , who isn't worth better?'
Absolutely not. But for some reason you had previously felt that you should accept his odd cruel texts. You had tolerated him making you feel worthless.
There's a little voice inside you, that came from somewhere. That voice (which is you) is telling you that you're worthless.
You need to have a word with yourself about that voice.
Whatever has made you feel worthless needs to fuck off.
Otherwise that little voice will make you accept being devalued again.
What did you do wrong? Absolutely fuck all my lovely. You were concerned about someone you cared about.
You did exactly what you had to do, because of your life experiences and emotional capabilities.
You cared about him, and you had the tools to demonstrate that caring.
We can see that.
Unfortunately you didn't have the tools to value yourself enough. You didn't have appropriate boundaries to say:
'This behaviour is unpleasant and is making me unhappy. I deserve better that to engage in it'.
You're wondering why he did it. There's a really obvious answer to this conundrum.
YOU DON'T KNOW
Just actually read that again.
You don't know. Knowing would make absolutely no difference either.
He probably doesn't know.
None of us know.
You need to allow yourself to stop caring.
What we do know is that you need to take care of @ChasingRainbows123.
Take time, energy and emotions to love her.
She's worth so much more than tolerating rubbish behaviour.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Remind yourself that you're valuable, beautiful and strong. You are worthy of love and kindness.
Remind yourself that he couldn't provide those things. You gave him plenty of opportunities. But he couldn't.
He's not a bad person.
He's a person who isn't right for you. He cannot behave and communicate in a way to make you happy.
He's gone in his direction.
You've gone in your direction.
Life presents us with people and circumstances to demonstrate where we aren't free.
Just check in with yourself often.
Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable? Question those feelings.
Write them down.
When do you remember feeling like that before?
Was that your fault?
Why do you allow yourself to feel like it was?
Thinking about him is a complete waste of your time.
Start to unpick it.
All of the important answers are inside you.
