Relationship ended for no reason

[ChasingRainbows123]

Met a guy on OLD, dating for 8 months & everything going well.
We both suspended our profiles.
Messaged most days & saw each other most weekends.
He lives 40 mins away & he works away Mon - Fri & I have two young kids.
Previous weekend he offered to cook a meal for us at his house.
It was lovely, a great evening.
Messaged the following week as normal.
Didn't see him at the weekend as he had to work on the Saturday & my kids were with me.
Messaging ok & on the Sunday we arranged that he would come up to mine the following weekend. All arranged.
About 3 hours later he sends a message on facebook messenger where we chatted for no reason which said
"I'm done with this. A big part of my life will dissappear. I will survive"
That meant me obviously.
I read it & he had unfriended me & blocked me so I couldnt reply.
I tried to ring him as this was so out of character for him.
Worried that something was wrong I drove to his house.
I knocked on the door & stood on doorstep & asked if he was ok & he said yes he was going to bed as up at 4.30am for work.
I asked him why he blocked & unfriended me & he yelled & shouted at me waving his hands & said no I didn't I have been talking to my sister.
I said again is everything alright are you ok?
He shouted again just go or I'll ring the police & he started to put 9 into his phone so I came away.
I never heard from the police. But you dont block & unfriend someone your dating for no reason. Then threaten to ring police for no reason when someone checks up on you.
Is this narcissist behaviour or mental health issues.
I can't get it out of my head that I did something wrong to cause all of this.

He said he had talking to sister on phone & didnt know he had blocked or unfriended me.
I have never spoken to sister at all.
Yes his daughter not having anything to do with him says a lot.
We don't have her side of the story

How can he deny blocking and unfriending you when he obviously did, I took it to mean he was busy talking to his sister and he claims not to have done the blocking... all very weird

Has he been hacked on FB?
Still doesn't explain his outburst

He’s not been hacked If he was hacked and knew nothing about it he wouldn’t have threatened to call the police 🤦🏻

Don't know why he got so nasty & started shouting just go I'll call the police.
All I was asking was he ok.
Why had he unfriended & blocked me.
Won't be wasting my time checking hes ok again.
You don't fly in a rage at someone like that for taking time to check your ok

If you're smart, you'll block him as well so he can't contact you again. Sorry this happened, but here is a perfect example why you don't introduce your kids to someone so quickly. You clearly barely even knew him.

He was never near my kids.
I saw him when they were with their dad at weekends.

I was stood on doorstep & hes shouting that at someone who has taken time to check hes ok
Thats why sometimes I think I was to blame in some way

You are in no way responsible for his behaviour. Even if you'd done something desperately wrong, he could have chosen to end the relationship in a way that respected you both. His behaviour is his business. His choice. His decision.

It's not you.

"He was never near my kids.
I saw him when they were with their dad at weekends."

Count your self lucky OP.

He sounds very unstable. Based on his irrational reaction I would say either serious mental issues or drugs!

For your own safety! Keep well away from him in future!

Makes you wonder what the true reason is that he doesnt see his daughter.
He was very anti drugs, waste of money. He would say so I don't think it was drugs.
I wondered if it was mental health with the way he was unstable like that.
I haven't had anything to do with anyone with mental health issues so not sure if this is what its like.
Yes he's very unstable.
I haven't had anything to do with him since this incident.
""For my own safety ! Keep well away from him in future""
Do you think he's capable of doing worse.

I had this reaction from an ex - turns out he was still living with his not so ex partner. The knee jerk get shot of you would indicate something like that is going on. It hurts like hell but it’s a lucky escape. Don’t what ever you do entertain him if he comes crawling back (as they often do).

Had he shown any regs flags prior to this?

Sounds like his wife could have found out, hence the blocking and then going apeshit at the door!

There will be a reason but he isn’t going to tell you what it is. Which means it is probably something that makes him look bad. Which means it’s highly unlikely to be anything to do with you, let alone your fault.

You just dodged a bullet OP. Either he has MH issues or his life is rather complicated.

Just block him and move on.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Do you think he's capable of doing worse

Eh? Are you asking if you round to his house again, is he capable of doing worse than shouting at you and waving his arms around?
No reply loss, anyway, after a few months of dating. At least you didn’t drag your kids in to your dating life, like 99%of people on here seem to do.

OP - how utterly bizarre. Has he behaved irrationally at all previously?
I’d like to say he owes you an explanation if he owns a shred of decency, but if this is not forthcoming, sometimes you have to create your own closure by blocking and deleting.
FWIW - I dated two men that had no contact with their adult children. Naturally they painted themselves as the misunderstood victim’, but looking back in retrospect, these were massive red flags. One was a violent alcoholic, and another was a narcissist.

My kids never met him.
I kept them away from him & only saw him when they were at their dads who lives over 20 miles away.
You can't let your kids meet someone you don't know their past history.
His wife put him out in 2017 & they are divorced now.
She lives 4 hours away with the daughter.
He has never seen his 18 year old daughter for two years.
He paints himself as the victim & that the wife wasn't nice & has turned his daughter against him.
I don't have their side of the story.
Theres probably a good reason they have nothing to do with him.
Months ago, a couple of times he has sent a message saying good bye. Good luck with everything. I never replied as thought he was maybe tired with driving long hours. He would message next day as if everything OK.
He has never shouted or raised his hands like I saw the day I went to check he was ok after the blocking & unfriending.
He showed he has a temper & could be violent by doing that.
Something seriously a miss with the guy.

Maybe he's mentally unstable.
Maybe he had another woman in the house, and flew off the handle to scare you away.

"Months ago, a couple of times he has sent a message saying good bye. Good luck with everything. I never replied as thought he was maybe tired with driving long hours. He would message next day as if everything OK."

The red flags were there all along. Did you not address this bizarre behaviour? Who says that stuff? He was finishing with you and thought he would message as if nothing happened. You really dodged a bullet there. There is something very wrong with this man. You failed to see or did not want to see the red flags. Stay well away from this unstable person.

I could see right through front door window before he opened door & saw him get off settee & come to door & the door was was wide open to see no one in there.
Never seen him fly off the handle like that.
Except when we had been out for a drink & I was driving & dropped him off & he had a few drinks.
He asked me to go in for a coffee but I said no I had work in morning & he slammed car door & told me to f..k off.
I put it down to having a lot to drink.

Stupid me then for not seeing all the red flags

As time passes you will maybe see more red flags op that you hasn’t noticed

I’m sorry it’s very hurtful
I’m more cynical so I wouldn’t have gone over there
just have had a good cry

he might well pop up , he may not
I’d suggest a cold delete and block would be advisable

either way it’s a hurtful and not nice experience and way to be treated and I’m sorry x

I think going round was a mistake, but if you don't do it again, that's fine.
He was obviously a nut-job. You're better off out of it. Block him.

Going round was definitely a mistake don’t know why people do this and if you was a man more people would be picking up on it