Relationship ended for no reason

[ChasingRainbows123]

Met a guy on OLD, dating for 8 months & everything going well.
We both suspended our profiles.
Messaged most days & saw each other most weekends.
He lives 40 mins away & he works away Mon - Fri & I have two young kids.
Previous weekend he offered to cook a meal for us at his house.
It was lovely, a great evening.
Messaged the following week as normal.
Didn't see him at the weekend as he had to work on the Saturday & my kids were with me.
Messaging ok & on the Sunday we arranged that he would come up to mine the following weekend. All arranged.
About 3 hours later he sends a message on facebook messenger where we chatted for no reason which said
"I'm done with this. A big part of my life will dissappear. I will survive"
That meant me obviously.
I read it & he had unfriended me & blocked me so I couldnt reply.
I tried to ring him as this was so out of character for him.
Worried that something was wrong I drove to his house.
I knocked on the door & stood on doorstep & asked if he was ok & he said yes he was going to bed as up at 4.30am for work.
I asked him why he blocked & unfriended me & he yelled & shouted at me waving his hands & said no I didn't I have been talking to my sister.
I said again is everything alright are you ok?
He shouted again just go or I'll ring the police & he started to put 9 into his phone so I came away.
I never heard from the police. But you dont block & unfriend someone your dating for no reason. Then threaten to ring police for no reason when someone checks up on you.
Is this narcissist behaviour or mental health issues.
I can't get it out of my head that I did something wrong to cause all of this.

What a nasty message to send to someone. Given how he has treated you and you can see what she is like from that awful message, they sound like peas in a pod and are welcome to each other.

Today a woman sends me a message on messenger on Facebook: I was seeing your guy at weekends when you had your kids & I spent Sundays with him when he told you he was sorting things for him being away with work all week. He was with me. I knew you were around & was dating him but he has chosen me now. You are worthless.

Bingo! He’s managed to find someone as weird and unpleasant as he is! What fun they will have driving each other mad(der). Thank god you’ll be a safe distance away from both of them, OP. If this is he sort of person he likes to be with, he would have made you very, very unhappy.

Wow, I almost feel sorry for your x reading that nasty message. May they deserve each other 😲

It hurt enough the way he discarded me like rubbish at the end with no explanation.
We now know why he did.
Easier if he had been honest.
To have someone message me that today has knocked my self esteem a little bit.
I was doing so well too.
I didn't reply. I blocked her.
How right you all were on here when I asked for advice

Jeez, they deserve each other.
In a way is a good thing, you now have the closures and the explanation that you were missing.
Hope you're doing ok.

Thank your lucky stars Rainbows you've had a close shave. They sound perfect for each other

Oh wow op. You dodged a bullet there, lucky escape that you weren't the chosen one which is a blessing tbh. The ow doesn't see it like that but both of them deserve each other with their deranged minds. Please don't let this message affect your self esteem, your worthiness isn't determined by this loser.

This has degenerated fast. She admits she’s a complete trollope then (“I was getting sloppy seconds, so there!”). Yeah real classy luv. I definitely would have laughed at her OP. Her actions, compounded by her comment, it’s right out of Shameless this. Fully understand the initial hurt 3 months back as you thought he had standards and you were shocked by his unhinged behaviour in the way he ended it, but any lingering hurt should be blown away with the revelation of the whole trampish episode.

Oh dear, OP, please don't let your self-esteem be based on the opinion of such hideous people.

This is it. The breakups that hurt most are when it’s quality people involved, cause you know you will miss them and you also question what you may have done to cause it (often it’s nothing, it just wasn’t meant to be). But this case is anything but quality. It’s Frank Gallagher-esque (yelling at OP who had done the decent thing by going round to his house), and now his trollope appears. Any lingering hurt should completely dissipate knowing the folk involved. Lucky escape is an overused phrase, but by god its entirely appropriate here.

Sending the message to you to I've you the story is good...she didn't have to. Every woman knows how us woman mentally mull over the why me...who else after relationships all to often are ended by men like this.

The awful but was saying you are worthless. No normal person writes to a stranger like that.....

Obviously your ex painted you in an awful light to his new spark but that's just out of order calling a stranger worthless (makes you wonder if it's someone who knows you..work colleague etc)

I suspect the ‘ woman’ who messaged you was actually the man who dumped you . He just wants to upset you even more . Please don’t waste your time thinking about this weird person. 💐

I'd not be convinced he's not sent that himself. Plus he was on dating sites a few days after you split so she's hardly got herself a prize there. You need to concentrate on blocking this man from your thoughts and move on, what a waste of space.

It was sent on facebook messenger. So I saw a picture of her & she lives near him.
I just blocked her & didnt reply.
I was hurt & shocked.
Saying I was worthless.
My ex will have painted a bad picture of me.
Same as he painted a bad picture of his ex wife & how she cheated on him & she's the reason he doesn't see his daughter.
Hes always the victim in his eyes.
We don't have his ex wifes side of things.
She was maybe not to blame like I wasn't.
The man's not wired up right.
Cruel nasty & dangerous man he is.
Hurting someone like that

OP, these are tramps. You need to raise your standards, not just of the company you keep (kept as in now the case), but those who you get hurt by. Only people you value, who you respect, can hurt you. No-one would respect these.

Saying “you are worthless” is the definition of trampish behaviour. It’s laugh out loud pathetic. No-one with any class or quality would say such a thing, never mind someone who got sloppy seconds (usually the OW would have their head down in shame, if they had any self respect).

Like the phrase “lucky escape” (which obviously applies here) you are also worth a hell of a lot more than the like of these.

*let me correct that:

Only people you value, who you respect, ‘should be able’ to hurt you.

Anyone else doesn’t matter.

He's such as "prince" that when the OW becomes the primary, she's created a vacancy.

It won't be long until he does to her what he's done to you - find the next mistress and line her up to be the next primary once he's broken the current one.

Makes you think has he got a previous history of doing this to women.
Maybe this is what happened between him & ex wife. Is that why the daughter has nothing to do with him.
All this has shown me that he never cared about me.
I know I'm worth a lot more.
I just don't feel it after all of that.
Feel like I wasn't good enough.
I need to get myself back to feeling good about myself again. Like I was.
He need never come back near me when his new supplies dry up.

There is a peculiar type of woman who only wants a man if it means they are taking him away from another woman.

Many years ago a male friend came to visit and we went out for a drinks with some acquaintainces of mine. There was a woman making a huge play for my friend. Anyway I left early as I had to take over from my babysitter and when he came home he told me that she completely lost interest in him as soon as she realised that he and I were not an item.

Thankyou you all for your support & advice over the past few weeks.
It was all much appreciated & I'm grateful.
It made me realise I wasn't the problem. There was something a miss with that man.
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas & all the best for 2023

She sent you a message Ike that and you hadn’t reached out in any way to him? Did you send him any messages?

If you did, we all mess up.. not trying to share you even though I want better for you of course. It’s just that if you haven’t reached out to him all this time and went no contact then… she is truly bananas! Like bushels and bushels worth!

Golly he is just trash and also prone to want to wallow in it huh?

Onwards and upwards. It’s painful but you got a big helping of closure and a peak inside the real hell you’ve been lucky enough to avoid. He is no prize.

You might consider going private on all your social media and of course blocking him everywhere. If she is this unhinged… you not adding fuel to the fire will make her implode. Types like this usually WANT some sort of trashy fight … because it distracts them from the fact that the man they “won” is just a farting coward whose ego is now going to need to be fed. It’s not a good prize at all.

Here for you as much as an internet stranger can be.

If you haven't been contacting him and that woman just sent you that message out of the blue then I bet it's because he's cheating on her and she thinks it's you or else she's paranoid that he is!

No I have never contacted him or seen him.
He blocked me everywhere that day after sending message arranging to spend following weekend together then hours later sending message to say a big part of my life will dissappear. Fine I will survive.
I drove down to check he was ok cause I know his dad is very poorly.
I asked if he was ok. His reply was f..k off.
Thats the last contact I had with him.
Not sure why she sent the message. If he put her up to it or if he is playing around.
It was nasty & unnecessary.
I am grateful for everyone's support & advice on here.

He sounds like a prick you're better off without.

Relationships aren't ended like this without a reason - you just don't know what it is and sound like it doesn't have anything to do with you so while it is distressing for you I'd try and forget it and move on.

I am better off without him.
Quite happy single with my two kids.
I have had a very lucky escape.
No need for her to send that message.
She was blocked with no reply.
I have come along way since he did that to me.
I'm happier now & not blaming myself.
Thanks to all of your advice & support on here.