Relationship ended for no reason

[ChasingRainbows123]

Met a guy on OLD, dating for 8 months & everything going well.
We both suspended our profiles.
Messaged most days & saw each other most weekends.
He lives 40 mins away & he works away Mon - Fri & I have two young kids.
Previous weekend he offered to cook a meal for us at his house.
It was lovely, a great evening.
Messaged the following week as normal.
Didn't see him at the weekend as he had to work on the Saturday & my kids were with me.
Messaging ok & on the Sunday we arranged that he would come up to mine the following weekend. All arranged.
About 3 hours later he sends a message on facebook messenger where we chatted for no reason which said
"I'm done with this. A big part of my life will dissappear. I will survive"
That meant me obviously.
I read it & he had unfriended me & blocked me so I couldnt reply.
I tried to ring him as this was so out of character for him.
Worried that something was wrong I drove to his house.
I knocked on the door & stood on doorstep & asked if he was ok & he said yes he was going to bed as up at 4.30am for work.
I asked him why he blocked & unfriended me & he yelled & shouted at me waving his hands & said no I didn't I have been talking to my sister.
I said again is everything alright are you ok?
He shouted again just go or I'll ring the police & he started to put 9 into his phone so I came away.
I never heard from the police. But you dont block & unfriend someone your dating for no reason. Then threaten to ring police for no reason when someone checks up on you.
Is this narcissist behaviour or mental health issues.
I can't get it out of my head that I did something wrong to cause all of this.

Just read your updates OP.
You should thank your lucky stars you’re no longer in his clutches.

I have never been back since that day & won't be going back.

I went round because I thought something was wrong with him or something had happened to his dad who is very poorly.
I was showing concern which was thrown back at me.

In all likelihood, you did nothing wrong. It could be be just moves on to new relationships when they start to develop. Could be anything - but it is him.

presumably he did not think you’d get in the car and check on him. He’s likely used to the ghosting hence flying off the handle about calling the police.

you have done nothing wrong.

please block him so that if he feels like a shag or build up his ego at any time, he can’t simply just get in touch with you and upset you.

best revenge is a life well lived.

He told you to fuck off after you declined to go in, you should have dumped him then.

Months ago, a couple of times he has sent a message saying good bye. Good luck with everything. I never replied as thought he was maybe tired with driving long hours. He would message next day as if everything OK

Why would you ignore this red flag? Would you ever do that to a partner, just because you were tired? No, because you'd realise how mean and unsettling it is.

Thankyou all for your advice.
I'm doing ok most days & keeping busy & lots of self care & focusing on my work, house & kids.
Theres the odd day where I struggle a bit & my mind starts overthinking what he did & I blame myself for what he did to me.
Is this because of the narcissist behaviour from him.

Is he back on the dating app yet.......?

He wasn't on the dating app the day he did this to me.
But he appeared back on a couple of days later.

He was still on last week when I came off the dating app.
Need time to self care before getting involved with any man after that

Well done OP.
As I said upthread, I’ve dated two men who sound very similar, with no contact with their adult children.
You’ve had a lucky escape. You take care x

Hold on, they'd been dating for 8 months and she didn't understand what was going on? I probably would have done the same. She's done nothing wrong.

I went round cause I was concerned something had happened him or his elderly parents. One of them has dementia

I hadn't done anything wrong to deserve to get that message or be blocked for no reason.

As this was a few weeks ago, did you hear from him after that horrendous episode, or has it been radio silence? You’re still blocked as far as you know?

Never heard from him since that horrendous episode.
Dont honestly know what went wrong that day.

8 weeks since the day he did that to me

How hurtful of him.

I think you just need to come to terms with the fact that despite initial appearance of your relationship, this man has some issues and isn't the person you thought he was.

The message he sent was bizarre and not how you end a relationship. I can quite understand why you went to see him and actually his behaviour seems like he's not OK and perhaps there are mental health issues going on.

Either way I think it's better for you that you're out of it.

There's always a reason even if you don't know it. For an 18yr daughter to block their father shows how badly he has behaved towards her/family unit.

Be very very glad he blocked you.

He clearly had his own agenda/issues. Be grateful you didn't waste any more time on him!
Sort of similar.. a few years ago I was in a relationship with a guy. All seemed really good, both seemed really happy. He made a big fuss when it was our 6 month anniversary, presents etc, I didn't get him anything as didn't feel it was that significant. He was I think a bit hurt. Anyway carried on for another 3-4 weeks as before then one day we went out he was acting a bit off with me but didn't say anything. We parted as normal. Later that night he called me and said he was moving to America for a few months for his job so that was the end of us! It was really out of the blue. He didn't actually go to America either... I figured he was just too weak to say why he wanted to split up face to face (or indeed at all!)
Don't look back, someone much better is out there...

I wondered why his daughter had nothing to do with him. He blamed covid & her mother stopping her. Theres got to be a valid reason your 18 year old doesn't bother with you in this day & age of mobiles & WhatsApp etc.
It was the way he sent the message out the blue & then blocked me once I had read it. Then shouting at me when checking if he was ok or if there was something wrong with his elderly parents.
Strange behaviour.
I wondered if they were signs of underlying mental health issues.
Most days I'm great & keep busy & never think about it.
Couple of times a week I overthink & think I was to blame

You did absolutely nothing wrong. He sounds unstable.

Glad to hear you're doing OK! Did you end up blocking him?

Probably a mix of mental health and just being a dickhead wanting to date around. Men like him often try and come back when they realise the grass wasn't any greener. It's dreadful the way he treated you and you better off without someone like him.

It was cruel the way he treated me. No closure or anything.
I was always there for him if he needed someone to chat to when his dad was very poorly .
I haven't experienced a relationship with someone with mental health. So wasn't sure if they were signs.
His behaviour was strange. The blocking me for no reason after sending me that message. Think that's maybe why I have a lot of good days then the few bad days where I feel it was my fault cause of him doing that to me.
I didn't block him. If he got back in touch I was going to do the same to him. Block him without replying.