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Original poster

He’s not interested, is he?

134 replies

Questiononline · 17/09/2022 21:33

Been chatting for three weeks. I had to cancel first date. He cancelled second. Then went away. We spoke on phone during his holiday. And messaged a lot. This week he asked me when I could meet - I suggested Saturday night. He didn’t come back to me for several days. He then told me to call him early evening (tonight) to make plans. I did but he’s too tired from travelling. I was very disappointed. We spoke for an hour (great chat) then he suggested meeting next week. Not sure why he didn’t suggest tomorrow or Monday. I think he’s keeping me on back burner - wanted to know what others think? He’s in his 40s and he said it’s lack of opportunity and being picky that’s got him where he is. I don’t have time to waste on the wrong men anymore.

OP posts:
XmasElf10 · 17/09/2022 21:36

Nope, that wouldn’t do it for me!

Googlecanthelpme · 17/09/2022 21:41

Nah I wouldn’t bother.

totally reasonable for two busy people to have to cancel or reschedule or whatever, everyone has a life and work and family etc. I wouldn’t expect a man to be available the moment I snap my fingers but if he’s making zero effort to see me then I wouldn’t bother.
If someone isn’t even enthusiastic enough to set up a first meeting, then where does it go from there.

value yourself, if someone wants to see you, they make a date and stick to it. IF genuinely if needs cancelling then it gets rescheduled straight away.

puddingandsun · 17/09/2022 21:42

He is interested a bit.

But is also likely interested in a few others.

LooneyToon · 17/09/2022 21:51

But you havent met so neither of you know if you're interested yet.. see if he arranges something

Smilingwithfangs · 17/09/2022 21:53

He’s got others on the go.
he thinks you are ok but not special enough to have dropped them. You are worth more.

Also any man that describes himself as ‘too picky’ to have settled down can get in the bin.

Zerrin13 · 17/09/2022 21:54

Its a no from me

Always4Brenner · 17/09/2022 21:55

Get rid don’t even go there.

category12 · 17/09/2022 21:56

Sounds like a timewaster.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/09/2022 21:59

Fuck that. Game playing, disrespectful fuckwit.

Original poster
Questiononline · 17/09/2022 22:02

Ok thanks all
I sent him a msg to say so
then I wondered if I was too quick
as earlier he did say he wasn’t very good at online dating

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 17/09/2022 22:15

as earlier he did say he wasn’t very good at online dating

FFS, what does that even mean? What a laughable excuse. He said that so you would have zero expectations, after all, he told you so. He's just a shit person, end of.

Micecrospies · 17/09/2022 22:41

Questiononline · 17/09/2022 22:02

Ok thanks all
I sent him a msg to say so
then I wondered if I was too quick
as earlier he did say he wasn’t very good at online dating

Message to say what?
Careful he doesn’t get the thrill of a chase if you ease off and it’s mistaken as him actually being keen.
He sounds like a game player

Original poster
Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:04

I said it was lovely talking to him, he seems nice, but I didn't want to meet. He replied with a beautifully scripted message, saying what a shame, as he was really looking forward to meeting me (well, he had his chance tonight??), and he asked why I have changed my mind, and that he respected my decision and appreciated my honesty. I simply replied that I felt things were flakey and I wasn't used to cancelling, rescheduling etc.

OP posts:
mscampbelle · 17/09/2022 23:19

"Too picky" means can't be bothered with relationship but happy to shag anyone who chases him, based on my OLD experience.

Dery · 17/09/2022 23:23

“Also any man that describes himself as ‘too picky’ to have settled down can get in the bin.”

This. What an arrogant guy.

Original poster
Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:27

He has replied with a long msg asking me to give him one last chance and that I won't regret it, he promises.

OP posts:
pawkins · 17/09/2022 23:34

Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:27

He has replied with a long msg asking me to give him one last chance and that I won't regret it, he promises.

I had one of these. He also described himself as picky and was frequently unavailable and he used travel as an excuse as he was tired.

His messages and emails were everything I wanted to hear and I spent a lot of time chasing him and being available for him. He was seeing others all along and was keeping me as the fall back whenever it suited him.

If somebody wants to meet up with you OP they will and they will leave you in no doubt that they are interested in you.

I would throw him back into the sea OP.

Original poster
Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:35

pawkins what was his name - did it begin with B?? could be the same guy!

OP posts:
Original poster
Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:39

pawkins he was REALLY interested to begin with, but then it waned towards the end of his trip. I get he is tired after travels etc but he could have come out for a quick drink tonight.

OP posts:
pawkins · 17/09/2022 23:41

Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:35

pawkins what was his name - did it begin with B?? could be the same guy!

No it wasn't B and it was a good few years ago. The guy I was referring to is now living with somebody. Similar ilk though.

zonky · 17/09/2022 23:44

How old are you Op, out of interest @Questiononline ?

pawkins · 17/09/2022 23:45

Questiononline · 17/09/2022 23:39

pawkins he was REALLY interested to begin with, but then it waned towards the end of his trip. I get he is tired after travels etc but he could have come out for a quick drink tonight.

If like the guy I know, he was REALLY interested just before he went anywhere. in hindsight it was because he knew he was going away when he knew there was no pressure to meet up and he liked to email/text when he was a bit bored at night. When he returned, he was ALWAYS tired ie couldn't be arsed meeting up. But whilst this was going on, he managed to meet other women and ended up having a kid with one of them. All this time,, he messaged me and acted really keen. He was/is an absolute creep.

Aretheyhavingalaugh · 17/09/2022 23:46

I think you should give him one last chance OP

Annabananna1 · 17/09/2022 23:54

I'd give it one last go.

I think an hour phone call is a good sign that you'll get along. The flakiness is annoying but I feel everyone is flaky these days.

A final attempt to meet this week.
See what happens.

Original poster
Questiononline · 18/09/2022 00:51

So now he’s suddenly free any time - I just need to tell him when
he’s gone OTT with messages, being really dramatic, how disappointed he is with himself, he won’t let me down etc
Asking several times when I’m free etc
It’s killed any excitement I had for him to be honest! He just sounds like a player, a real talker...

OP posts:
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