Help! MiL driving me crazy over washing things for her.

[KAYMACK]

I need advice! I am not very good around the house and my MiL senses this and loves to gaslight me. She does not have a washing machine and gives me difficult things to wash... but does not tell me how I should wash them, then loves to chastise me for using the wrong cycles, saying something shrunk, the colour faded, I have ruined a favourite garment... She even gave me some things that should only have been dry washed just because she knew I would ruin them and she could have more "ammunition" against me.

Can anyone tell me how I should wash the following, which she has given me? Black woollen gloves (mittens). Cashmere scarves. She also gave me an "ethnic" handkerchief that she brought back from Nepal when visiting some hill tribe, I do not know what to do with this material!

Seriously, I'm all for helping someone out if they need it (and are pleasant and grateful) but someone you berates you for doing her washing wrong? Either give them to your DH or suggest she gets a washing machine as "I keep getting it wrong and I hate to ruin your things".

Also, if she's unpleasant and critical to you I would be included to put her 'dry wash' items on a boil wash. Just tell her that's what you thought it meant.

Spray with Febreeze and give it back to her. If she complains and wants you to fail then just destroy them in a normal machine wash and feign ignorance. "Why did you give them to me when you knew from past experience how terrible I am...you are welcome to come over and do it yourself next time as I can't bear to let you down again..."

agree with PP - Spray with Febreeze. Don't wash anything woollen or cashmere. Not worth the risk.

Scarf. Just iron it on a low heat.

Fold and return. If she ask what cycle you did just say 'delicates'.

Repeat for everything she tries to gives you.

Just wait until she's at your house and say, "The machine's free to use now. I don't know how you want those things washing so I'll leave it to you."

Conversely - stop playing the stupid game.

I can't see how pretending to wash things is going to be 1) very much less work 2) any less arseache. MiL will find something to complain about.

Yes, MiL has found something new to complain about.

I use Egyptian cotton covers on all duvet and pillow slips.

She says polyester or polycotton is better.

I just said that she is welcome to buy us a full set of polyester covers for everything (and I will find a use for them, like maybe putting over the carpets when a wet dog comes in).

Having said that.... a question to all mums on here... am I right in my choice pf Egyptian cottom??

I love cotton to sleep on. It's a natural fibre so is more in tune with the body when overheating happens. It will absorb sweat and is a cooling fibre to use. I'd consider using bamboo cotton if there wasn't an alternative but polyester is a man made fibre and I'd liken it to sleeping on plastic.
For pillows, we're supposed to use silk or satin pillowcases but I find them very warm against my face, so I use cotton pillowcases too.

Your MiL needs telling once and for all that what goes on underneath your roof is not her business.

I hope you've stopped doing her washing for her by now.

Also, I don't think my MiL would know what type of sheets/bedding we have in our house so this wouldn't even be a discussion. Why is your MiL so invested in what you have/what you do?

What have your bedsheets got to do with her?

And why is her opinion the arbiter of truth?

I bought polyester covers once without realising. They were awful to sleep on and have stayed in the cupboard ever since.

Personal preferences are fine.

WTF.

So your MIL prefers polycotton and you prefer Egyptian cotton?

What's the question? Why the fuck are you engaging in this puerile shit over nothing of any Importance whatsoever?

Side question: does anyone find normal cotton is just as good as Egyptian cotton?

Why are you so insecure in your linen choices that you are derailing your own thread about an insanely controlling MiL to ask PP about bedsheets?

Quite. Utter batshittery.

She let you use her machine.

Therefore, you should let her use yours.

Not treat you like a full-service launderette.

Tell her she's welcome to come and use your machine any time, but you're not going to do it for her any more as you are clearly jinxed! <tinkly laugh>

Most annoying thread of 2022.

I like spongecake.

Fake thread

You need to work on your confidence so you don't even need to ask this kind of question of a bunch of strangers. You will have a much better life when you do, as your MIL may be likely to keep asking things like this.

Bedding fibre is PERSONAL PREFERENCE. I am with you on Team Cotton and I hate polyester bedding ;-) but would never tell someone else they had the "wrong" bedding if that's what they prefer.

Egyptian doesn't necessarily matter, just buy cotton bedlinens that you like. Good quality cotton may or may not be labelled "Egyptian."

What a thread!!!! Love it!

op so your mil - what's she been doing washing wise since September?

Good grief! what some people have to put up with from their mother in laws. So you used her washing machine a few times, does that entitle her to continually undermine you, you, clearly she knows that you are not very confident and have little faith in your own judgements. Just hand all her twiddly ethnic hankies and cashmere back to her with a "you seem to be the authority on laundering best you do it yourself you seem to be confusing me with Widow Twankey"

hey OP when she says her next stupid thing you should be reply with 'what do you think is best, MIL, Missionary or doggy style'? Then when she gapes at you then just walk off.

I'd be telling her to go to the laundrette or hand the washer back to her and give her all your washing then make the same complaints.

Egyptian cotton is fine. 100% cotton is cooling. Its your bed.

@KAYMACK have you stopped washing for mil?

I only ever washed a few things for the MiL. She liked to gaslight me by giving me tricky things. I now just say "I don't have the time right now". She seems to have got the message and is inflicting herself on someone else, probably a neighbour.