Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I'm really looking forward to seeing him again - and hoping this time to get a proper kiss 😄

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow those never ending poorly managed projects are the most tedious. I'm lucky in that my role bobs in, acts like a rock star then drifts away when things are in steady state/boring. Problem is I have a portfolio of 40+ and all my good people are leaving so trying to onboard great but new contractors.
It is, however, only work and probably no one is going to die if things slip or made up deadlines not achievable due to unforeseen issues, lack of staff etc?

Anyhoo OLD is meant to be some respite and joy to the rigours of single parenting and hard professional responsibilities.

Mad to think people get het up when people fade or don't reply. We've got no idea what's going on in their world and likewise.

When I first matched with Mr Art in June (after a one night blip in my deliberate years of staying away from the apps & swiping right on just one out of eleventybillion lefts) we had some great first exchanges then he went. I was mildly surprised as had thought we were off to a good start but interestingly didn't care.
I'd learned not to be invested way too early and wasn't really up for restarting the whole OLD game anyway.

Some days later he returned and vaguely explained he'd had a situation and had travelled, busy busy blah blah and we continued.
I think being off the apps and learning from this thread of its meant to be it will be and if it's not then hey ho nothing ventured etc.

Obviously if he ghosted me now I'd be a mess but the whole expecting people to be flaky has got to be a fundamental rule when you're actively swiping, matching and doing initial assessment messages hasn't it?

I think a proper big birthday kiss with MrMedic is pretty much guaranteed @Slothmomma
Enjoy!

I hope so @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss our birthdays are 4 days apart 😁

Awww…you really fancy him…this is brilliant

Yeah @Mila14 I do which is rare for me 😄

Slothmomma

yay for the crush and the 😘 potential !

oh hi all, the thread this eve has cheered me right up! yes OLDing can be simultaneously a rollercoaster/ bag of poo.

aha I think I might spend the next season stroing my cat and staring at the wall too!

I had a lovely response from a guy recently he said good luck, its not quite what I am looking for etc etc, so polite!

@Mila14 eactly people have a zillion reasons to fade. I know Im guilty of it too sometimes .

Anyway off on a date with a friend tonight to see if we can meet some men IRL. I know , the novelty! Its a posh Coppa Club and an' all...

Just dipping in (as I do from time to time), I think I must be one of longest posters on these threads as I have been single for so long 😬.

I have been casually seeing Mr Peach for a few months but I don’t want a relationship with him, the sex has been fun but not great, I just haven’t had time to find more irons what with summer holidays and then dd1 starting uni. Now things are getting a little easier I have time to start looking for more irons. I have been chatting to Mr Tattoo and am hoping to meet him soon. I have noticed a increase in men contacting me as I do every year around this time, I think they call if ‘cuffing season’ when the weather gets colder and people start looking for a partner for winter/Christmas. I stupidly made a comment on a Fb group about bearded men (I do like a beard) and now I keep getting random messages from bearded Viking men.

so now dd1 is at uni I no longer have a baby sitter for her sister, so my time is very limited, I am starting to wonder if it’s even possible to date or have a FWB when I have dd2 (SEN’s)? I would love to find someone that makes me feel fuzzy inside, someone to hug and someone to talk too, life with dd2 can get pretty lonely but I can’t see any man taking me on.

@Hughgrantstrousers …enjoy lovely. I didn’t know there were nice places to meet men IRL… I will have to DM you 😂😂

@Lovemusic33 …what happened with MrPeach? Are you having “the chat” with him or will check Mr Tattoo first?
kids are hard work but super congrats on getting DD1 off to uni
There are more suitable guys now on apps…it’s the hugging and watching telly season!!

I will probably meet Mr Tattoo first 😬, I am not exclusive with MrPeach, tbh MrPeach. Is starting to push for more and has started to sulk when I'm too busy to meet up with him. I have been pretty clear that I am not after a relationship, I do enjoy seeing him but only once every 2 weeks. I like to keep my options open.

I've got a date zero! Haven't had one of those since I spent an afternoon with Mr Arty who I didn't fancy. I'll call this one Mr Accountant. He's 2 hours away so we're meeting in the middle after work. Good chat but I'm worried I won't fancy him - but he has a dd so understands all about the parenting.

And Mr Favourite Place has reappeared! Not in a romantic way, more like "things didn't work out with that woman, fancy a walking buddy?" As a reminder, we met months ago, he was instantly keen, which put me off. I liked him and we got on really well but I didn't fancy him, so we dtd cos I hoped it might make me want more. It didn't, I said can we be friends, he said yes but then met someone and felt it would be respectful to her not to see me as there was some history, which I actually thought was quite sweet. So now we can go for walks and chat without me not fancying him being a problem so I'm happy about that.

@Lovemusic33 cuffing season is upon us! I hope Mr Tatoo can, ahem, fill Mr Peach's place as you sound ready for a change.

@Hughgrantstrousers I hope you have some luck IRL and don't remove yourself as far as humanly possible away from any man you might like... like some of us do...

@Slothmomma hoping for a delicious kiss from Mr Medic. If you swoon and faint, he'll be able to revive you!

WeWantTheFinestWines

yay for the date 😁
I didn’t know of this cuffing season
I was going to wait till January but …..
maybe November for me to get back OLD

I need a hot sunglasses free photo though 🤨

Lovemusic33

i can’t lie a few months off dating and leaving the kids either alone (worry and guilt ) or with babysitter (expensive ) is appealing
its a ball ache

I need to find an FWB that’s max 30 mins away

@Lovemusic33 ….😂😂😂…options open is the way to go until we fall deeply in love ( maybe never!). Hopefully MrPeach will not get too pesky. Fingers crossed for Mr Tattoo
@WeWantTheFinestWines …excellent news regarding Mr Accountant. Sometimes you know you really don’t want someone after DTD , I relate to your issue with Mr Favourite place. He’s should be a good walk company. Looks like a decent chap
Worsy FWB 30 mins away would be awesome. Bring on next chapter. How’s therapy going? How are you feeling?

Yay @WeWantTheFinestWines well done! Hope hes nicer than you think. Good to have a walking pal too in mr Fav place. I could do with a local walking/coffee buddy. Also a hot shagging buddy, but no one on the radar as usual.
Potentially managed to finally book a builder/joiner guy to mend something in the house next week. Having day dreams about if hes going to be good looking or not when he turns up 😂😂

@ButterflyOfShay …builders are hot…maybe you can feast while getting job done 😂😂😂
….hot shagging buddy! 😂😂😂

Mila14

im ok . I’ve been exercising like crazy
i need something to fill the gap and time and exercise seems like the most logical solution
meno benefits
mental health benefits
health benefits
hotter Bod for when I eventually get naked again

I also get some attention in the pool and sauna which helps my bruised little ego

therapy next week x

Have a lovely weekend everyone

ButterflyOfShay

this time last year I was in love with my builders
i was weirdly sad when it all ended

it’s that challenge to get male interaction in our lives isn’t it
how’s the office ? You going in ?
is Turk still alive !?

im sadly channelling Sabrina from the ‘boys boys boys’ video
with 30 extra years and a black speedo 😂

Wow so many updates, with new Irons, hot builders, medics , shagging buddies & Coppa Club, ( had to Google that one)
nothing going on here, hardly been outside all week, full of a stinking cold, a few messages back and forth with no show , but not really in the mood at the mo.

@WeWantTheFinestWines hope your accountant works out & he can “double check your figures”, so to speak,
im off back to bed with a lemsip.( Rock & Roll )

Hey angel @Thisisworsethananticpated its defo a challenge. I’ve kind of given up really, I mean I’m well open to dating and meeting someone, (or lots of men, lol) but nothing ever seems to happen for me, plus its rare I actually fancy anyone… so I just kind of give up with any of it. I did see Turk in passing last sunday after many weeks of not seeing him. I understand he’s been working somewhere else which means his times have changed but i dont think thats forever, but again nothings come of it and in some ways I don’t even want it to.
Just booked a girls holiday for 2023 😆 me and pals all agree it’s just good to have as many things to look forward to as possible 💕💕 keeps the spirits up!
have you been doing any OLD?? Xxxx