Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

They are out there @Mila14 rarer than hens proverbial teeth admittedly but they are out there. Mr Art is 6'4 a daily gym pumper, post-grad but bloody hell I must have swiped left on a gazillion and wished I hadn't swiped right on a multitude of nopes too before he and my paths crossed.

Right sober daylight X-rated romps is what I will suggest to him chez lui as he needs to stay close to home and I feel too wanton to tell my teens I'll be absent overnight again (not that they will care or miss me if I do). We had thought of going to a hotel in a pretty town but I think frugality will win.
Maybe I can entice him to cook something and see how his culinary skills are - suspect he's good as a foodie and a fine wine aficionado. Doesn't strike me as a Fray Bentos or Supernoodles kind of guy...

Not everyone wants a gym bunny. To each their own but some of the emphasis on physical perfection is rather disconcerting. Plenty of non perfect humans have really wonderful relationships. I’m more Dawn French than Davina McCall and lots of men have enjoyed every inch of me.

How old is Mr Art Oncey ? Has he got any kids??

I’m more in the kylie Minogue body type camp…size 4-6 UK 😂😂😂 and I’m totally sure many men like Dawn French a lot more Stepcount! I totally believe you
I think it’s more I want someone I can share my lifestyle with. I totally get Davina and I train normally 5 days a week . It would be difficult being with someone who does no exercise and does not have a healthy lifestyle. I don’t need to compromise on that.

I understand @Mila14 , you like what you like and those shared values/lifestyle choices are important to you. I guess it’s just that recently the thread has contained lots of chat and opinions on physical attributes and sexual prowess, put forward in such a way that those things are deemed the most important for some. It will never sit comfortably with me because I don’t fit that model.

Stepcount you are wonderful in all sorts of ways and in a loving relationship. We really really appreciate you have what we don’t. Don’t worry about fitting models. Seriously…vive le difference! It’s great to talk to different women openly, however different to us they are.

I like to try and keep myself active for personal reasons rather then anything to do with attraction, ( I’m a middle aged man, physical attraction is something I know I don’t have.. ), but I do like my women more on the curvy side, but each to there own

Sorry @Stepcount that was me picking up on the ED/DE chat about fitness being a helpful preventative rather than lusting after physical perfection.

Totally agree with @Mila14 that everyone is fabulous whatever size or fitness level of the spacesuit they reside in.

I've only relatively recently and belatedly become a fitness fan having relocated 6 months ago on my 50th specifically so I could make time for it and other things. I now do 4 classes a week, have a new dog which needs walking, swim loads and lift weights at home but it's all too new to have turned me into a size 4-6 Kylie-type (and I really do love love love food) The fact that Mr Art is into fitness just means we have compatible lifestyles in that respect & noted from this thread that he maybe helping to prevent ED (although there was a touch of it in evidence last weekend with so very much wine guzzled)

Prior to my lifestyle reboot although I lusted after gorgeous men I'd feel inadequate or ill-matched in the sack with them.

I'm a short size 14-16 and Mr Art thinks the arrival of my (fairly wobbly) curves is equivalent to many Xmases coming at once. He tells me this and I can tell it's true.

I really enjoyed being fit during our night of endless passion it was so fantastic compared to the old me with previous loverrrrrs and I now have a body confidence I've never enjoyed before

Yes @Mila14 Mr Art has kids the same age as mine and he's 5 years older than me.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

define curvy please
are we talking dress size - or arse and bosoms and tummy?
sorry that reads rather creepily , answer with discretion and tact 😀

putting aside kylie , Davina and dawn bodies (shame we don’t seem to have any in between Celebs 🙄 which is where I fall )

im exercising as it’s really helping my mental health

Oncey…body confidence is great and sexy whatever your size. Good on you making lifestyle changes that work for you and your partner!
Really brilliant Mr Art also relates to you regarding kids and ages. He sounds perfect for you. Keep your weight training going 😜

I’m tiny but curvier than Davina in Boobs and bum…I think I exercise a lot because it does help my mental health more than anything too Howlongy. I can relate to you. It’s about what works for you . My DD also exercises a lot when she’s very stressed. It works for her and keeps her anxiety at level. And she looks really fit too.

This was for Worsy

Just back from Date 2 with Ms Blonde. Had planned to go for walk but as it was raining went to Starbucks. Thought she was slightly uptight on Date 1 but seemed more relaxed this time.

Single cup of coffee stretched for 3 hours, conversation flowed and we appear to have similar backgrounds.

Kissed goodbye but not especially passionately and I said I found her v attractive and hooed we could meet again. Kind of hoped for a mega snog but she is quite a cool customer and indicated she would be free next week.

Trying to keep abiding by the rule of not investing emotionally too soon but am thinking this has more potential than the glorified FWB relationships of recent years.

Sounds ok-to-good @TobyEsterhase
My principle is, these days, ask 'do I want to see them for another date? And so they also?' that's all you need to answer.

Excellent news @TobyEsterhase …Especially if you are not looking into perpetuating FWB arrangements… bring on date 3!

For Worsey:

I classify myself as voluptuous/curvy as I have big/huge boobs a small waist/flat tum, big hips & thighs.

I've spent my entire grown up life in oversized baggy t-shirts and 20 years with an XH who wouldn't have sex with me so it's a great revolution to (belatedly) realise I'm not repulsive and actually quite have attributes some men think are ok.

Love it Oncey …enjoy your new life

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

he wouldn’t have sex with you for 20 years
sheesh
thats pretty damaging
I’m sorry 😞

😢

This is impossible for me to answer, but here goes,
Im using this as reference
helenleeloves.com/your-shape/
I would say I’m naturally drawn to the ‘Full HourGlass “ ( as I think a lot of men are)
Ms NoShow is more apple/round, shape, she wear a d up ( as I have been told) and it’s all good

Neat hourglass ! Thanks for link

And for balance

alpham.com/mens-body-types/

I’m more towards Ectomorph shape, certainly in my 20’ I used to train quite hard and could never get that well defined body/ muscle shape that I really wanted

Hi everyone, I was out for food with Mr V and my daughters. I hope I didn’t come across as being judgmental earlier. I guess I have my own insecurities that I deal with but I have enjoyed hearing about the range of shapes and sizes we come in. I love being part of this thread and realise I am hanging around despite being in a relationship of nearly 3yrs. But there is lots I learn from the chats, I find it a really good place to reflect on things with Mr V even if I rarely share my dilemmas.

Wow 3years @Stepcount you have found what so many of us here would love to find with your MrV that is so fantastic and amazing you still stay grounded by reading the posts here. Epic!

@Stepcount I thought your post was good and was a good reminder that people should be mindful of other body types and shapes rather than implying that their body type shape is better than others.

We should embrace whatever we are while also being accepting of everyone else.