Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Excellent news Worsy…I’m glad you get the right person to talk to and I think you sound a lot calmer and settled now.

Yeah, a Willie is a weird thing, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it has a mind of its own, as a younger man it was a reliable friend, now it’s more like a dodgy 2nd hand car.

Glad you liked it, I might get hold of some of those little blue pills ( for a friend of course).

Just to be clear, I’m not massively envious of women menopause symptoms either or vaginal dryness, during DTD with ms noshow (just after we had stopped using condoms), my frenulum was torn as we were not using lube, she was mortified ( and a bit pissed that I blead on her towel).

Funny how things work. Sent very early messages to MrO thanking him for everything but basically calling the whole thing off. He’s now back in hinge ( and bumble) …shaved some some 5 years of his actual age and there he is!. He really does not look his real age though. I’m glad it’s over as the last 2 days were rather tricky. I cleaned my home profusely after the viagra found under my bed and changed bed and washed the guy completely out of my system. I tried to overlook he wears man ring and leather bangles and is a bit too hip for me. I’m normally only attracted by suit wearing more traditional guys. Yesterday I also realised he lied about his qualifications. Bumble said he was a postgrad…he never did a postgraduate. I was wondering why that was not in his Linked in and why there was no uni in linked in either. Everything was there to see , I just chose to overlook it.
Thank goodness Mr Ex is there… the exact opposite and better sex of course.

@Mila14
sounds like you dodged a viagra fuelled bullet there

Indeed… and you know… I would not really mind someone I feel connected to telling me I need to take viagra. But it’s the deceit and fibs here and there plus the fact I was dating out of my comfort zone

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

she was mortified ( and a bit pissed that I blead on her towel).

You hurt yourself enough to cause bleeding and she was annoyed about a towel? That would the end for me.

@Mila14 will you stay friends with MrO? I havent told MrN about not wanting to take things further yet, I should do that today really.

We were talking around about it afterwards, and she joked that I should have used a dark towel ( honestly we were joking about a sex injury), but it did bleed quite a bit for a tiny little tear.

We have talked a lot and he took all in the chin admirably. However, he was deceitful in many ways so I pity anyone who takes him seriously but he’s kick arse for culture and we share passions I don’t share with anyone I know. So we’ll probably be friends. I will be talking about MrEx and my dating and he will be non stop dating women ! He’s been super graceful about everything. Even to the fact sex was never what was supposed to be and it was more talking and less hard cock to be honest
So I think friends it’s a brilliant outcome. He was talking about seeing one exhibition but alas …that one I’m taking Mr Ex …he had a chuckle. We will do an edgier one I can’t possibly do with Mr Ex

Iodine … it’s difficult but we can’t waste our time and theirs with people we have no intention to have a relationship with. Cut it before it gets nasty or becomes trouble to you. No harm done to mr N

You are a gent Howlongy… I would have been mortified about bleeding and having that comment done . How are you feeling about things?

@Mila14 amazing what some people will lie about... perhaps a sign he's not really after a proper relationship in which the truth would come out? He's just trying to appeal to as many women as possible?

It never would occur to me to lie about my professional qualifications on a dating site!

Totally agree @Stayingstrongish but we are now back and forth and I think after a few good laughs we can be friends. He thinks he needed to lie because I was out of his league and too posh . I am out of his league and probably for him too posh. He kept his options open because he knew the penny would drop. And it did . It’s refreshing I can see him for exhibitions and I remain out of his league . he’s a very sexy man and no doubt will lie to other people though

OHHH yes @Mila14 and others I shall report back following my friday date with the young hottie.

The current FWB getting a tad boring, its been almost 3 years and one needs a change. Or maybe I could be doubly naughty and keep them both on the go?

Doubly naughty Signora … one one is unavailable… the other might be a call away 😈😈😈

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I feel that your predicament with MsNoShow is sounding like a couple of situations you've been in before. Sorry if I've got the wrong impression but I was wondering if you've noticed that too? Maybe it's worth trying to figure things out with her and if that doesn't work time for a bit of soul searching. Yes I am yet again advocating for therapy to all those who can afford it! It might help you in this scenario @howlong?

@Thisisworsethananticpated your Balkan situation sounds like an aspect of where I am with MrD. A bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times but with fabulous sex, which keeps you interested but can also muddle where you are. I'll let you know when I've figured it all out 😂

@Mila14 MrO did indeed turn out to be a bit of a fake. Why would you want to stay friends?

@BelladiMamma we have some mental health support resources available through work & I’ve been looking at what is available through that channel.
if things don’t get figured out with MsNoShow I’m beginning to think I’m probably going to be done with looking for any kind of romantic relationship in the near future ( not in a wanker MGTOW way), and be just resigned to that part of my life not really working out

BelladiMamma

honest to god sometimes I’m mystified as to why im so hung up on him ! The past three years have been mental and very isolating

i think I need to continue my plan of self improvement , exercise , therapy and also leaving the bloody house time to time !

not because I want to end things per se - but as I’m so isolated he’s become a bit too central to my small world and it’s unhealthy

your D has his own dramas I recall
fun fun fun hey 😁

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

don’t quit . Learn , assess , and get back when you feel stronger

and a good therapist is worth it ( people have been telling me to have therapy for years 🙈)

hey at some stage your horn will return and you will have to !!!

you’ve had a good run , and no one here is immune to the bruising x

Mila14

yeah I’m not convinced you need him as a friend either
clear space for new men
not as keen on him given recent updates

not that’s he’s a bad person , I hasten to add

Hello all, I get a lot of support just reading these threads, I’ve been reading for about the last 400 threads 😂 and dipped my toe into the chat a while back about my then situation which ended but since I’ve def become more aware of what I need and want BUT then I accidentally (🤔) matched with a guy 15 years younger and we’ve had a couple of good dates but I’m finding myself overthinking and wishing for a text and just generally getting attached and I’m struggling to feel confident that someone that much younger isn’t playing me for a fool! I don’t get that impression at all in person or on text to be fair but I’m always worrying about how I dress and whether we have enough to talk about and it’s just hard isn’t it!? I’d be like that with anyone I reckon but the age gap has added to it!! I’ve come of all the apps now because I’m feeling jaded by the men and I want to believe in romance but I’m hyper aware I can’t get attached to this guy but I’m swooning all over the fucking place! We’ve been on two dates so far. How do you actually get a grip???
I need more full stops and more self esteem and basically to stop sounding like a nob!! OLD is tough!!!

MincedMalbec

im late 40s (very late !) and I remember always matching with 35 year old

really nice guys in the main , had a thing for older women obvs !

what you looking for ? Fun 🤩 or something more serious ?

Signoramarella
I can see that a FWB for 3 years is a bit much
it either has to evolve , or not
could you manage two ?

I met a woman who had two FWB and an open
marriage husband . However I sensed she was a tad more ‘open’ than he was

I can’t lie , I was impressed