Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Mila14

oh mila I had to laugh at your update

update 1 , BIG and HARD
update 2 , found a viagra

😂😂😂😂

but sounds like now the chemistry’s worn off
you are seeing maybe some incompatibilities
esp the booze and exclusivity (both of you !)

Indeed… grateful this is over and done with

Perfectly put Worsy!!
yes…these are too many red flags but honestly… he’s a A LOT OLDER than me but behaves a bit like he was some bojo…I like my men suited and booted and with similar values…this guy was not what I thought.
He’s brilliant to spend time with and I hope we can be friends though because we do have a lot in common and have fun with cultural joint interests. I don’t know yet how to discuss all this but give me a few days and I will call him or something after we WhatsApp obviously

Whoops sorry If I got mixed up, it is quite challenging sometimes following everyones antics here!

Not having any antics myself, so, nothing to report. Except...

Interviewing a new FWB on Friday, he is 36, so feeling very filthy about that ( I am 51).

Seeing the current FWB as well on Friday, is that really really bad of me ?

Signoramarella

nah ! I’m still not 100% clear why you are booting the old one out tho !
but no judgement from me 😁

Signora… I think 36 is a great age and I admire your stamina!! He’s FWB not the man of your life or a partner you would introduce to friends and family. So, if both parties are agreed I see nowt wrong my dear. Report your findings with young specimen to the mothership so we can all feel envious

Signora is a discerning lady of very hot loins…she can keep the older and the new version I think

Jeez, a 36 yr old would kill me ( not that any would be interested)
2 FWB, ! , one woman seems to have broken my penis 👨🏻‍🦳

I think I need to retire to the land of pipe & slippers and a new Ducati Monster

Howlongy…you have been just fine before. This last time maybe it’s about you not seeing Mrs Show with the same light after what has happened…it’s psychological

Can I join in? I've lurked and enjoyed reading all your updates. I'm out of a 20 year relationship last summer. Wasn't that bothered about dating, then had had little fling with a local builder, which fizzled out. No hard feelings either side.

Then, a strange experience with an old workmate (also single).

We texted a lot over the summer re love and life before a very strange drunken conversation, we ended up arguing, about his treatment of a woman he was seeing from tinder. After not speaking for a while, he whatsapped and accused me of having deeper feelings for him.
A few days later, he solemnly tells me he's not rejecting me, or the idea of us someday (wtf) but we're too far apart (40 miles). And, tinder has shown him he is pretty irresistible to women and he wishes to play the field! Wtf Bonkers. Deluded. I don't. BTW have feelings for him, but his intensity felt like a break up.

Whilst drama queen busy accusing me of this, I started going out with a nice friend of a friend, who asked her for my number. Mr hot.

So far, so good, dreading taking my clothes off and showing mum tum again.. he's pretty fit. Mr builder had a gut, I didn't feel so lumpy.

We're meeting Friday night. Dinner at his.

Opened tinder out of curiosity. Haven't got the hang of it. Swipe on wrong people. It's a whole new world!

Enjoying life and not uber bothered about a serious relationship, though Mr Hot is a contender...

You girls are my heroes.

Mr hot sounds like a good iron to consider. Friend of a friend sounds excellent too. Beware it’s dinner at his…have to decided you want to DTD right there and then? I like to meet somewhere public first to gage the hotness and chemistry…

Also @Foreverinjeans …what a strange thing with colleague …he was telling you about his exploits in tinder??? Weird

Blimey @Foreverinjeans a first date at his house? That's a bold strong move. I guess no amount of coffee/walks/drinks as a precursor to triage-sex filters out the weirdos so we're all being bold the first time we head to a new fella's place.
I was sans clothes with a new fella this weekend and the 50 year old body was well appreciated- mind you the sexual tension had been building up since late June when we first matched so maybe that helped.

@Mila14 did not see that update coming but in some ways hoorah for early red flags being indicated and heeded. My mistake is always to notice them, then not heed then later kick myself and wish I had. If MrO was being a drunken obnoxious nob it's deffo going to reduce your ability as a sex god. You only really find out about who people are and whether they're ultimately a good match or what we are seeking by spending time and different scenarios and taking a 'we'll see what happens' approach and it would seem that your research has been concluded with the data showing a result of 'Nah. No thanks'. That's ok but always a disappointment isn't it when things initially feel promising.

Have forgotten who is interviewing for a new or additional FWB (how does that work - a decent date style setting with a fast tracking to boudoir gymnastics if there's a mutual attraction?) but Go You with those fabulous loins of hotness! Yes! Hope the 36 yr old takes the bait. Keep us well and truly posted.

Yes Oncey I’m just glad I got to see the rest of Mr O quite fast. I’m already on the hunt 🤓😝

@Mila14 . It's not our first date. We've had a few coffees/drinks etc. He's totally yum. Sorry, my message was misleading.

Yes, strange re friend laying that on me. Total weirdo.
And Mr O.. I think it takes time to figure people out. Sometimes sexual chemistry masks loads of flaws.

Enjoy your irons everyone.

Yeah I know, this is the advice I give to ppl on this forum, but it’s hard to listen to my own advice (no pun intended), I had to go and listen my favourite urologist ..

Oooooo that is deep and probs true @Foreverinjeans re naughty sexual chemistry masking a multitude of flaws!

I've been musing about a relationship genre with my bestie this week - those strong feisty cool wimmin who find long lasting love with soft quiet be-cardiganned non-supermodel good menfolk....
She named herself a global law firm partner (previously scarily edgy, cool, fashionable as a teen) 20 years with a decent but introverted mild man who never had a girlfriend before her and is now a househusband, her good friend head of an international school married to almost identical fella & Caitlin Moran n Pete Paphides.... (?) <<< not fact checked but I recall from one of her books that he had uncool leather elbow patches on his uncool cardies

It's a genre I appear to be exploring for the first time having concluded that the 35 year long experiment of listening to my loins or my eyes as key deciders of fate was a faulty method

Already enjoying a sense of calm re Mr Art that is unfamiliar as I'd normally be, at this stage, be fretting about the new handsome, cool, edgy, rogue I was conducting a dalliance with. Whether he would be a fuck 'em n chuck 'em type (usually yes), emotionally unavailable, narcissistic or cheaty (or all of the above) and so another roller coaster ride with its enormous highs and horrible lows would begin again.

So that's nice. Early early days obviously but I thought I'd log this musing and new method of experimentation here in case it is of use to others.

Thanks everyone.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss We had a snog in the car when he dropped me home. I'd also kissed him on the night I was introduced to him,just a normal kiss as his family were there.

@Slothmomma Its so hard when you've both got busy lives.
My job is pretty flexible so I can do some daytimes which works well for when Mr HS2 has his days off.
We're meeting up again Thursday morning.....before he goes away for another 7 day stint.

I totally see your point Oncey…I like beautiful men though…can’t help it. But I think I should experiment a bit and see what happens…
Sorting brilliant news and looking forward to hearing about your Thursday tryst
@Foreverinjeans …I get it now. Yes, it makes sense to now move on to DEFCON 2 😂😂…hopefully you get good sexy time

Foreverinjeans

i like the sound of your Friday night date 😁

I started with a nice good new therapist today

I’ve had a few crap ones (like dating !)
but I was so desperate I joined the call an hour early

but when you know , you know ♥️
🙂

SortingItOut

i like this normal real person dating !
hope Thursday is a good one 🙂

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

you know as we are all the same age roughly (I know you make out you are older )
i do feel some compassion for men and their willies , and either their ED or DE (and tears )

women have their share of issues with meno etc
but we can be multi orgasmic easier than men our age . I’ll stop there !

anyway it’s helpful for me to read your experience and it’s good you can share it here

Thanks. I'm excited, trying not to over think or expect too much. Hard though.

Good you've found a great therapist.

Really enjoying that informative video @HowlongWillThisTakeNow having majored in human biology a thousand years ago it's right up my strasse anyway but also because the Sunday night bonkathon started with a sleepy willy which needed some additional encouragement before he was ready to get properly involved. A new experience for me but handled coolly by his owner and I hope by me also.