Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thank you @Mila14 you are one wise dating sage. I shall (try to) park all these neggo rational thoughts and look forward to getting jiggy with it on Sunday whatever that ends up meaning. If he doesn't dig it or vice versa then so be it. Nothing ventured nothing gained etc.

I’m seeing MrO on Sunday in the end . He’s away looking for property and staying with friends these weekend. So I’m getting treated to pics with friends and homes and a lot of messages as I woke up. He made a video call as I was having breakfast ( bed hair and gym bra and knickers on) and yes…You can’t lie when you like someone massively. This man really really likes me and I think I am defending myself a bit too much . I think I’m back to square one. I want him but I can’t totally drop MrEx
MrO is the unknown , MrEx I know pretty much everything after almost 7 years

i was all smug thinking I’m going to have a lot of action in the bedroom for a few days me thinks … my period comes soon . One thing I have to disclose Mr Ex and Mr O both are fully STD screened. So am I. I’ve also had gardasil ( vaccine to prevent cancer by hpv). My Gyno recommends ALL women after divorce to get it. You still need to do smear test but this jab really prevents some of the cancer strains. DD had it at 12 in school

@IodineQueen i havent ever been scared of any of the previous men i dated apart from one who really did turn out to be a psychopath and i ignored so many red-flags where he was concerned. Never again. I suppose thats why MM is a bit safe, we are long distance as well. I really trust him even more so after this accident he had and how sorry he was he couldnt contact me to explain. Whereas with the other guy i was trying to convince myself i trusted him when deep down i didnt. I think it is a pretty tricky situation to be in and once the lines crossed you cant uncross it. This is what my friend was trying to tell me was a good idea, to test the water and see what it was like as it could be the best ever but i just wasnt convinced and felt better staying on the friendship side.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I definitely had really awful experiences in the bedroom, which were so unexpected but i am sure everyone has. You read so much on here about sexless marriages or mismatched sex drives so i think i agree with @Mila14 about DTD quite early on. I couldnt live without good sex or none that would be terrifying. I suppose some people if they really wanted the relationship to work, would then find a way to be more sexually compatible. But i like what @Mila14 said about the burning loins you have to have some magnetic pull and butterflies, hence why MM stands for Magnet-Man 😂He is 100% my sexy magnet. And unfortunately you can never know how compatible you are until you try... and seems you both are on the same page so far?

burning loins

im sure you could get a cream for that

Just logged in cause @IodineQueen 's music situation really reminded me of this Reddit post

But, whilst I'm here:
@Naimee87 I'm so pleased he's come back and that he's okay and that you're okay. Excited jumping around and clapping all round. I'm also well impressed you are so in touch with why you think you wrote him off so quickly when he first disappeared. 'Living through it as quickly as possible' actually resonates with me more than I want to admit.

@Mila14 Your posts between the two irons is better than most romance films. And especially as it has such an unpredictable end. They both sound fab (yet flawed as we all are) and I'm sorting of hoping I can have your cast offs?

And I've forgotten everything else I was going to type. But my fingers are tightly crossed for you all x

@DisappearingHelen I am crying laughing! Thanks for that 😂

…agree with @Mila14 about DTD quite early on. I couldnt live without good sex or none that would be terrifying. I suppose some people if they really wanted the relationship to work, would then find a way to be more sexually compatible.
I really think that if the loins don’t burn and the sex is “meh” it’s a NO. You would always be thinking “can I get better than this?”

explicit

the sex thing. With MrEx is quite vanilla but it doesn’t matter one bit as he’s so terrifically we’ll endowed and unbelievably tender ( which is normal as he does love me)

MrO is older and …oh well…he wants to introduce me to some toys (I’m an idiot and don’t even own a proper dildo girls !!!). He’s a lot more …saucy. A lot more adventurous .

@DisappearingHelen thanks! Yea definitely a relief. Thing is we had a random break a while ago, last year where i felt he pulled away. I guess this is the man-cave people were talking about earlier. So we went silent on each other, it also came out of the blue and it was really difficult for my emotions to go through that. But then he got in contact last year around my birthday and we picked things up again and kind of just swept that quiet period under the carpet. He claims i could have always reached him but same could be said for him. So i think i panicked and thought if thats whats happening i want it to be over an done with quick. But i think i was kidding myself that i could have moved on so fast. It really is only him i want at the moment. So certainly looks like we got to have a discussion about things when we finally can see each other.

Naimee…you are in love girl…it’s lovely how things are turning out for you

Oh my goodness STDs. I hadn't given that any thoughts at all. If I am symptomless two years after having unprotected a few (terrible) times does that mean I'm clean. It doesn't does it. I should do tests shouldn't I.

How can I be a grown up and not consider such things. Ffs.

Good shout (again) @Mila14 re HPV vaccine I will ask the doctor.

Oh man so now I should be thinking about condoms which I can't abide but it's the right thing to do isn't it. Maybe he's been celibate for as long as I have and also in a sexless but monogomous twenty year marriage before that.

In the past (post marriage but pre celibacy) I have been guilty of not binning off immediately due to terrible (one sided selfish or totally inept/mismatched 'bits' then was gutted when they (later) chucked me! That's all wrong. Life's short enough without having to put up with incompatibly beneath the sheets.

Well endowed vanilla + racy boundary pushing spicy = living and loving your best life there @Mila14 do the two lucky fellas know that the other exists? You should deffo write a screenplay.

Woo hoo… good luck to everyone with a bit of bedroom action on the agenda this weekend!! You lucky devils!
The long weekend has begun… 🥹

You are completely adorable 😘💕😘💕 and beautiful inside and out! Thank you sweetness 💖

Well endowed vanilla + racy boundary pushing spicy = living and loving your best life there @Mila14 do the two lucky fellas know that the other exists? You should deffo write a screenplay.

nope

MrO knows I see Mr Ex but has not asked details. MrEx no idea. I’m not ready to disclose to any of them. I need time before I decide who I want to be with for real. I don’t ask any of them whether they are seeing someone either ( but I know Mr Ex isn’t)

Everyone to report to the mothership…😝

Those of us with long marriages behind and long time boyfriends are missing some sex history…I’m all for enjoying healthily for as long as we want to. Sex is life.
Many of us here are mums but first and foremost we are women and feel like women at any age and stage in life.

Oh man so now I should be thinking about condoms which I can't abide but it's the right thing to do isn't it.

yes, get some and take them with you,

the sex thing. With MrEx is quite vanilla but it doesn’t matter one bit as he’s so terrifically well endowed and unbelievably tender ( which is normal as he does love me)

MrO is older and …oh well…he wants to introduce me to some toys (I’m an idiot and don’t even own a proper dildo girls !!!). He’s a lot more …saucy. A lot more adventurous .

blimey, you are killing the sex stuff, way to go, I’m just older and err,,, “regular” sized 😂😂, do men come in sizes, small, regular & large?

Howlongy don’t worry about it. Mr O isn’t as big and is a great lover. I think it’s really different to everyone. Timing, technique and really really enjoying a woman goes a long way honestly.

A lot of all this sex chat revolves around chemistry between 2 people. That’s a factor I can’t explain. But the loin on fire applies 😂😂😂 Howlongy

@Mila14
yeah. I know what you mean, there is a women I have met via my hobby & she contacts me about different things and has tentatively asked me for a date, but there is definitely no fire, loins or elsewhere.

Then don’t even bother. It’s wrong for her and for you. Chemistry is a mutual thing as you well know
are you seeing Mrs Show tomorrow? Are your loins burning??

Yes, we are meeting up tomorrow, no burning loins.
but if she does an Unban and pitch’s up with a bottle of wine in one hand and a pack of 3 in the other who knows what might happen

I don’t understand? Did she ever turn you on fire in your loins or not?!!

yes