Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@WeWantTheFinestWines it would be the latter for me. Bit try hard, wouldn’t be able to think of what to say, couldn’t be arsed, etcetc.

@Howlongwillthistakenow, you're being very mature agreeing to meet her again. Beware beware though - she was the original Ms No Show for a reason...

@WeWantTheFinestWines no. Goodbye.

@Stepcount that precise situation hasn't come up so I don't know how I'd feel but I am definitely a jealous and possessive sexual partner ... however my own desire for freedom is so strong that I am just going to have to put up with the price of freedom ...

That's what I'm thinking - putting pressure on me to come up with something deep and clever feels controlling and not a sign that he actually wants to get to know me.

Precisely.

So no Darts or Showaddywaddy then ?,
.
.
ask your (grand) parents

“Hello, what makes you purr, scratch and bite in life? What is your preferred and usual way of being you?"

purr, ohh, a well maintained toolbox gets me going.
scratch, cats- bloody hate the things
bite, hmm, a pork pie, love a pork pie…mmmm

..

@WeWantTheFinestWines

"Hello, what makes you purr, scratch and bite in life? What is your preferred and usual way of being you?"

Is he a furry?

@WeWantTheFinestWines hello!! I remember you well! I know, i’ve never been so relieved someone was in an accident! Poor guy! He isn’t the luckiest come to think of it. Just annoyed i’ve got a trip away next week so seeing him will have to wait sooo long and its already been tooo long! Well, i’ve been this patient i guess i can hang on in there. I am partial to a bit of country but otherwise its only trance/techno from the 90s early 2000s! How’s the world of finest wines doing? 😂

Just accidentally swiped right while boggling at a profile that said ‘just looking for a cute little girlfriend to enjoy life with’. I wish Bumble had an undo feature.

super cringey questions… my god! Gives me the right ick 🤢

Complete twat… it’s a no from me 🙄

“Hello, what makes you purr, scratch and bite in life? What is your preferred and usual way of being you?"

jesus
purr = compliments
scratch = pretty much everything
bite = see above

and as for preferred and usual way
how the fuck do you answer that !?!?

Preferred ? Calm
usual ? Not calm

send this beauty my way !!!

Had a quick look at Bumble…erm…I don’t like ANYBODY…Mr O will do for now. Not sure I will see Mr Ex as he’s mental with work and one pesky family problem.
Really depressing prospect going back to OLD… let’s see what happens when I see Mr O.

I don’t like anybody either, @Mila14. Even without the daft bios I just don’t fancy anyone. I’m dizzy from swiping left.

I do like the man I’m seeing atm (I can’t remember what I called him so I’ll give him a new name - MrN), I just don’t feel any big sparks. I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much though.

Iodine…I hear you. I’m in incognito mode but seriously…people looking for great kissers that don’t take themselves too seriously, people who ski, motor race and hike in Timbuktu…I’m a busy mum. I can just about go to the gym for my mental health…

What are the plus points for MrN and the not so good ones Iodine?

I was incognito too but my free trial ran out. Oh god, don’t get me started on the ones who want to hike in Timbuktu or travel across Australia in a campervan… Just came across this gem: ‘Exploring the possibility of non-exclusive but genuine and loving connections’ 🤢

MrN plus points:

He’s very attractive, easy to talk to, makes me laugh, seems happy to take things slowly, clean and tidy house, good stable job, has had an interesting life, has similar geeky interests to me

Not so plus:

I don’t like his taste in music, he seems to drink rather a lot, he sometimes goes off on a tangent about something and I get a bit bored… oh and he said something which made me wonder if he has a low sex drive, which would be a problem for me.

I’m really torn. I know you can’t really know for sure until you just go with it but I have a stupid tendency to feel like once I go in there’s no going back.

Iodine…of course there’s going back. I went absolutely bonkers for Mr O on my first date with him and on my second date had a sort of 3 day full love sex fest with him…we can ALWAYS decide to move on if something nags us or we are unsure. I think we can and should change tack as we feel a relationship is not right. I’m still “ interviewing for the position”

@Mila14 you’re absolutely right. I don’t know why I end up feeling so trapped and tied to someone once we’ve DTD. It just feels so awkward and I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I know the alternative of carrying on is absolutely ridiculous. It doesn’t help that I’ve had several men go absolutely mental at me for breaking up with them, even ones I’ve only seen for a short time.

IodineQueen

they go mental !? How
that’s not very cool

If they go mental…it’s not your right person. Thank goodness you ditched them Iodine
i can’t understand the getting angry. I think you see people how they really are in that case. They can feel sad or disappointed but that is all. As do we.

@Thisisworsethananticpated The worst ones I’ve had is stalking, and another ex smashed a room up. Had someone I was was seeing for around two months get really angry and accuse me of stringing him along. Had another one who kept trying to contact me through various means after I blocked him. I’m traumatised by it all to be honest so I’m really wary of starting anything else, as much as I’d like to be with somebody.

If I’m being honest, I’m just really scared of angering men.