Dating Thread 233 - Being Our True Selves

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

We did. All was good. I’ve decided I want more talks with MrN about it all though if I’m to continue as I don’t feel like we’ve discussed it sufficiently for me to feel comfortable.

All good with M though, much fun, lots of laughs and chats. Very relaxed, affectionate and grown up-feeling. We shall see…

@Naimee87 Im so glad you’ve heard from him. Poor guy!

So very happy for you Naimee… this restores our faith in people who suddenly disappear. Next time you see him you will swoon

It is what it is @ibelieveinmirrorballs . I understand you talking to Mr N…

hello gang ohh just catching up on whats been going on after a manic week of working 2 jobs and dealingwith the tweens arghh.

OMG @HowlongWillThisTakeNow I cannot believe that. Outragous shoddy behaviour....Christ alive if a man I fancied booked us a SPA weekend you'd have to blow my car up before I cancelled... kids free weekend, /spa/sex.. I think Id even get there first AND be laying naked in the hot tub with prosecco before 6pm ready for action!!

Well over here in Signora world, Im happy and single with a few chats going on but frankly, too busy with work/kids/ the whole single mum shebang thing.
Remember that guy who stood me up 30 inutes to go before our coffee date? he sad he was 68 - well- he is back on the OLD site and he is now 58!!!
One cheeky fucker, pardon my french!!

Naimee87

id totally believe him
I thought someone like this had happened to be honest with you
hence why I kept saying to message him

poor bugger

Naimee87
and I hope your hope is restored a bit 🙂

i just didn’t think (given what you said ) that he’d do that to you

This will probably sound silly but one of my biggest reservations about MrCantRememberHisInitial is his music. Every time we’ve met up he’s had music on, and when he came to mine he asked if I could play something. I love music but I also love peace and quiet, and I get the sense that he’s a bit uncomfortable with silence. It also doesn’t help that his music gives me the ick, a total turn off. I really like him in other ways. It’s so annoying.

Signoramarella

a 68 year old stood you up

what has the world come to !!!

how old are you may I ask ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated i got so confused and because its been rocky with him in the past i think i convinced myself that the issue had to be with me. Turns out he really was the 1/10 exception to the rule and had, had a nightmare time on holiday. I’m going to see how we go over the next few weeks see if he really makes an effort to keep in touch especially while i’m away. He’s now lost all our chat/photos that was on the other phone. But yes definitely relieved he’s alright and can’t wait to see him in person again! Being patient is not an easy task for me though!

@Naimee87 Wow!! Can't believe he has returned, its like a movie script.
Thank god he is ok though.
You must have had a whirlwind of emotions.

@IodineQueen What music genre is it?
I also like peace and quiet so someone who likes music on all the time (even in other peoples houses) would do my head in😂

I've still been interviewing for an FWB but its not going that well but i won't lower my standards, I've paused my Fab account as I'm really busy with work and hobbies and my daughter goes back to Uni this weekend and I don't have time to meet anyone let alone spend time messaging.

But.....I have met someone in the wilds of real life😱
Was out with my best friend at the weekend and I know his family but not him and my best friend knows him and his family so introduced us!!
We're having a 'date' on Monday evening.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for or want but he's a lovely guy so I'm going with the flow.

Naimee87

i get it . I’m in a similar situation with a ‘FWB ‘
many pros for the busy single mum . And some cons 😁

but i do think it’s sad that after so much time together , your instant assumption was that your
time together meant nothing to to him and that him going quiet equalled - ghosting

when this has all calmed down maybe you should discuss this with him ? Tell him this is what you thought had happened and gauge his reaction ?

i think I got a bit invested into your situation as i have a similar one !

and maybe this can open the door for a more honest dialogue , or a dialogue that makes you feel more secure ?

Mila14

sounds like MrEx is the one but your relationship needs to be repackaged
and re boundaried etc

does he know abiut the dating ?

SortingItOut

how exciting !

Butterfly

get it ! The photo thing is an issue for many

I now seize on any remotely flattering pic
and have far too many with sunglasses 🕶

but yeah whatever way we slice and dice it , OLD makes you pretty miserable 😖

Hi sweet. Sorry you're sick and hope you’re not stressing about work. Thanks for the kind words. I do get what you’re saying. I think when you’ve been single a lot of your life it makes you feel a bit undesirable too. It’s kind of proof that you’re not wanted by anyone 🙈 then you go OLD and it’s more rejection… it’s just all too much for a person to handle 😂 when I stay off it I feel happier in myself generally. Despite having no love interests IRL 😂 maybe I’m just not strong enough for relationships generally. I really don’t know!
For example if whats just happened to @HowlongWillThisTakeNow happened to me that would probably take me weeks and weeks to recover from emotionally. And I would probably always remember it too, despite not wanting to.

@ButterflyOfShay I hear you on being unphotogenic, its a curse!!
In reality I think I'm decent enough looking but in photos I think 'OMG I'm hideous' 😂
I know my photos are bad because everyone I meet tells me I'm better looking in person😂

An iphone camera is better than an android camera so I sometimes steal my daughters.

I'm dreading doing OLD as its so fixated on looks.

@Naimee87 thank goodness he’s ok. I think it’s 10000% genuine - the poor guy!! So glad he had the 2nd number!! Fate eh?! Xxx

That’s a bit intense @IodineQueen shame…. I just have to know what music he always has to have on?!? 😄 anything other than some very quiet classical or maybe jazz or r&b in the evening… nicer than the TV on and just chatting over it.

@SortingItOut that’s so nice!! Can’t wait to hear how it goes!! Keep The Mothership updated!! 😀😀

So lucky he survived. But sad to lose his phone and all his photos 😢 im really glad he came back @Naimee87 . It just didn’t feel like he was some knob ghoster!!

ButterflyOfShay

for what it’s worth this thread has made
me realise that the issues i have are universal
the texts , the exes , the caving , the obsessions the insecurity

it does read like you have a fairly low self esteem in terms of dating and , maybe childhood related ? Some understandable bruises

at some stage your desire for intimacy might override your fear of getting hurt
but it’s a very understandable fear

and mama here starts her therapy next week
actually not dating related per se , just LIFE

Absolutely Worsy we all have the same issues and it is a comfort. I’m glad you’re going to chat to someone.. hope you click with them is it one you’ve known previously or a new person?

Thanks all, messages went back and forth yesterday, and we meeting up on Sat for a chat.
I think I must be a glass half full kinda person, as used the gym, sauna and pool while I was there and got a massage as well, but some company would have been better ( as would a happy ending .. ).
but that’s in the box marked “yesterday”, I might get it out of the box now and again and take a look, but it’s not out on display (at the moment).

@SortingItOut Real life is best, no preconceived views.