Fighting the urge to contact abusive ex partner

[Inamess2022]

I’ve come out of a horrible toxic mess of a relationship recently. I feel mentally destroyed like I’m sitting here trying to work from home, be there for my son, relying on my parents in my early 40s to pick me up and he’s most likely planning a sleazy hook up or perving over Instagram accounts with women half his age on them 😞😞😞how do you fight the urge to email or text and say exactly how they have made you feel? How do I stop ruminating on everything and worrying about who he is going to meet next😞I’m on my third day of taking sertraline and my anxiety seems to be going through the roof 😞

You didn’t put him in this position.

You didn’t cause it, you can’t fix it.

Im glad to hear you’ve blocked him, no contact really is the only way to move on x

I just feel so confused about everything I feel 😞😞I’m trying my best for my son, I’ve been seeing friends etc, it just doesn’t feel like this life was the best choice 😞😞

OP - are you talking to friends about how you feel? Do you have any family members who could be with you?

You sound incredibly traumatised and it is causing you to make bad decisions - like meeting him for closure. Neither of you can give each other closure.

Ending the relationship was definitely the right thing to do but it sounds like it would be useful to you to have a bit more support to get through this period than you currently have.

Hi Dery,
Thanks for your message. I do have support friends family etc, and they have been good but yes you are right I am I think suffering and it is making my mind very confused. My parents are of the opinion he’s a bastard etc which yes I agree with it but it’s more complex than that for me 😞I’m also seeing a counsellor but that’s only been for three weeks so far. It’s very conflicting emotions 😞

Is there anyone who could come to stay with you, OP? Do a bit of looking after you, like cooking for you and your son?