Dating Thread 232 - Loving Ourselves First

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

GoldenMirror

ah that’s nice !!! Live it when a promising one comes along

Mila14

you can’t make an omelette without breaking any eggs
this shit is always a risk

give it a go , see what happens
and bumble and hinge are always there

LuckyLinda3

i agree that after some time you should
contact him
as painful as it is you both need a chat and some closure x

Daisysunset

that books says that often the MrEU men aren’t over the last heartbreak and basically won’t risk getting hurt again
would make sense in your case

I understand why you feel conflicted about tinder
see what happens and what chats come up?

i kind of want to but feel like I need to 100% disentangle myself first
and I’m not doing very well at it
to be honest

in fact I’m very bad at it !!!

@ButterflyOfShay can I ask immature for not being in contact? To be fair as soon as he suggested agreeing to differ and leaving things I just agreed, im too proud to beg.

@Thisisworsethananticpated for now I think I will leave things as they are. He has another busy work week and social weekend coming up next weekend so I am just going to focus on myself for now. I'm a bit annoyed at myself for pining so much for him this weekend but haven't made contact so I'm proud of that. I'm sure hes annoyed that I didnt even say happy birthday but I just couldnt. I'm hoping this week is a bit easier.

Indeed. I’m ready to break eggs dear Worsy

LuckyLinda3

ruptures always hurt
I think your doing great actually
the only cure is time sadly

I know it feels shitty right now x

i kind of want to but feel like I need to 100% disentangle myself first
**
and I’m not doing very well at it
**
to be honest
**
**
in fact I’m very bad at it !!!

we are rubbish at it. If it’s working for you, don’t discard it. You know what I think. See Balkan for a shag but keep options open and start looking for a good iron casually…you never know. I think when you most look for it…the harder it is for anything good to come around…sod’s law

Agree. @LuckyLinda3 …doing extremely well. I could not do as well as Linda in a million years

@Mila14 and @Thisisworsethananticpated aw ladies thank you so much. I dont feel that way as I'd just love to reach out but something stops me, you have all got me through this weekend x

Mila14
its Not working
I think I hurt him alot when I ended it to be honest
the trust is gone and the playfulness

not that he’d admit it

I’m flogging a very dead horse

@LuckyLinda3 no i mean the way he acted when you were out together sounded so immature… sounded like very hard work for you x

But you had to speak up and you did. You need a bit of evasion and bit of cock and he’s available and clearly fancies you. You need to switch to FWB mode to see you through this weird phase you are going through. Someone better will come and you will get a lot more than what you get now

You hurt his ego!! Men hate that hey

@ButterflyOfShay yes I agree, I need to keep reminding myself of this!

Mila14

nah . You can’t turn off feelings for someone and I do (did ) have them for him

and I’m not even sure if I can manage FWB with someone so closed off
maybe with someone new when it’s properly clear and boundaried from day 1

its been stress after stress for months now
two hours of hotness once a week isn’t worth this anguish !

and look he’s my first one after my ex
I’ve learnt some lessons

but he’s in a bad way and I don’t think I’m helping him either to be honest

I dont blame you @Thisisworsethananticpated it sounds messy now too complicated for simple stuff..

@Mila14 - your suggestion to Worsy to keep Balkan for a shag but keep options open and start looking for a good iron is something I'm going to adopt.

Mr Train came back from holiday yesterday. Not seen him for two weeks and if I don't see him tomorrow it won't be until next weekend. He's too busy doing the washing to spare any time for me, so that speaks volumes, doesn't it...

I've got a few chats going on Tinder, nothing I'm overexcited about but it's early days. I paid the £9.49 upgrade option so I can only be seen by people I like which I prefer, I hate the thought that all the goons I've dated in the past could see me on there.

I couldn't do FWB with Mr Train now - as you say, maybe if the boundaries were clear at the start, though even then I'd struggle as my boundaries are notoriously non-existent 😒

And yes - a couple of hours of hot sex every now and again isn't really enough, is it?

Although I am still in the horny stage of whatever part of the menopause I'm in (dr said I'm not in any, but my head says something different) I was thinking today that I'd take good old vanilla sex with someone kind over hot sex with someone unavailable.

@Thisisworsethananticpated plan is to meet on Thursday.

Priming myself for it not to happen, so I dont get disappointed. In between the butterflies 😃

I’m an idiot

@GoldenMirror I'm sure you're not, but why do you think you are an idiot?

@Daisysunset cos my accidental butterflies 😃

@GoldenMirror Those damn butterflies! You'd think we'd be over butterflies at our age wouldn't you? But no - I'm on the Rescue Remedy before a date if I can't have gin!