Dating Thread 232 - Loving Ourselves First

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

So a guy has asked me out on Bumble. I agreed to a drink has his photos and messages are normal and nice. I don't have that much info about him, I know his name 'David' and what he does 'telecomms' but I am struggling to find him online as it's all generic stuff and there are so many Davids! He's given me his number but nothing comes up when I put it into Google, Facebook etc. I added him on Whatspp, but haven't messaged yet, and no photo has come up. I usually like to find a guy online before I meet him. Any thoughts?

@Datingadvice …for what is worth I never meet anyone I can not check. I get full name and linked in. If they flinch at giving me the details I just cancel them. I’m looking for a relationship so I need to know who I’m meeting. Best wishes on your date

@Datingadvice I’d get his last name and Google him. I d do this before any meet. DD had been blithely going off to meet a couple of guys whom a rudimentary check showed to have nasty convictions. (She lacks sense, mind you!)

😱😱😱…poor DD!! lots of wackos out there unfortunately and many in OLD.

I know @Mila14 .. ti be fair though, one of them has a profile picture of him with lots of wraps of drugs spread out before him, so that should have alerted her 🤣

Just checking in to the new thread. Sending happy datey, & non-datey vibes to everybody

I've got a lot going on so havn't been online but I did have a brief look for a possible date for yesterday or today, (finally child free. Yay!) One potential but in about 10 messages he mentioned his 'One bed bungalow' 3 times & then stopped talking! (So I'm guessing I didn't fawn over his bungalow enough, I just said 'That sounds nice' once)

So instead of a date I've been for lots of walks & had pot noodle, popcorn, monster munch, & I've watched 3 Jurassic park movies & Grease 1 & 2

Mila14

im pretty calm actually . I did have a bit of a marathon sex fest with Balkan this week 🙈

but I’m way less fixated and obsessed
I can see it for what it is
and him for what he is

and keen to see what my headspace is like over the next coming weeks and when kids are back

but I feel better than I have for quite some time mentally

hope your 3 not stressing u
id say it’a clear which one you like the most

Go worsy!!! I’m looking forward to a sex marathon too … jealous moi!!
Don’t overthink. Can you check for other irons for something more like a nice relationship while keeping Balkan
I think that would be ideal. You get what you need but your headspace moves into dating someone more in tune with ALL you need from a man
Mr O is the favorite by A MILE. But you know this is tricky so I keep fall back Mr Ex. Mr A is the weakest link. He’s too invested now and I don’t want to hurt him

Mila14

and I’m jealous of your 3 !!!
never happy are we 😂

i don’t disagree
my issue is time , asd son , and to some extent lack of clarity in what I want

sex
love
friemdship

what’s clear is he’s sex only
and that’s IT

i had reflexology today and I’m supremely calm

😁

You might need to nicely dump poor Mr A mila
set him free (and sad )

Yea Worsy…mr A is super nice and he’s sexy too but Mr O is a beast and culturally totally on my wave length. I can’t stop thinking about kissing him again but there’s a lot to be wary about too as he’s just started dating and he’s being inundated with dates. I still need to see what date 2 looks like. I’m playing safe.
When you get DC and school starts again you can see what works better. There’s no hurry and you still get hot sex when needed

Mila14

ah so the one you like is multiple dating
that’s very honest that he shared that !

the hot widower ….

yes , in that case caution needed

Aren’t we all? Sort of multiple dating until things get clear? I think you are not really dating properly until you DTD and have been on a few dates with that person
I need to be patient and understand it’s better he sees a lot of women and picks me
Im ok with Mr Ex and might give Mr A a second date of I’m feeling insecure about Mr O

Mila14

yeah I suppose so
but I don’t tell them that 😂

Omg I just 'completed' tinder. Didn't swipe right much 😂

You will get bad finger pain at this rate…that’s a real feat @fedup078 !!😂😂😂😂

I have my distance setting pretty small
Though it still occasionally shows me people hundreds of miles away which I don't understand

I’m looking forward to a sex marathon too

I seem remember the marathon was chocolate and peanut, don’t remember a sex one, I would have thought that might have melted, would have been most inconvenient 🤔

i don’t say anything either 😂😂😂. No one asks me and I don’t ask either to be honest. I just think it’s unreasonable when you are starting to date to put constraints in people

You may be up to quite a lot of fun with Mrs Show…😂😂😂😊. Some of us eat large amounts of chocolate instead

So what qualifies as a sex marathon then ?

as an oldman I not sure I can manage a marathon, more like a park-run or jog around the block 😂

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

to be fair women are far more orgasmic than men
men kind of get knackered after one (in late 40s)
whereas women can keep going

I’ll leave it there

@Thisisworsethananticpated you sound in a good headspace, am well jealous. After all my bravery this week I'm not feeling so strong facing into my first weekend not seeing him. Havent heard a peep from him since Sunday.

Hugs LuckyLinda. You will be ok. You will get through it. Lots of distractions & nice treats for yourself planned?

LuckyLinda3

my situation is different to yours
mine is casual (always was , just my head got messy this summer )
whereas you were in a relationship for 3 years right ?
so you are handing a major loss xx

i had a strange summer and an emotional one and I don’t think it was all 100% man related to be fair and with hindsight

this weekend is going to be hard for you lovely