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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Keep seeing the same dog walker

107 replies

masinfortunelli · 16/08/2022 10:44

For the past few weeks I've started leaving for work earlier on two specific mornings. My husband leaves for work an hour and a half after I've left.

I know this sounds barking mad but I've noticed on these mornings when I'm leaving, a woman walking her dog up towards our house. I leave at roughly the same time give or take 5 minutes.

Prior to me changing my hours we had passed this woman a handful of times before at the end of the road where we'd stopped to have a quick dog chat. On those times, she always walked straight on after the chat. Now she's turning into our road. Our road isn't busy and doesn't go anywhere particularly nice.

Maybe she fancied a change. It just seems odd to me that I keep seeing her in the same place when I leave. Literally passing our neighbours' house towards ours.

It seemed to start after a morning where I was leaving for work in the car and DH had just taken the dog out and I passed DH and her chatting at the end of the road. Nothing suspicious, just a dog thing where they (the dogs) say hello briefly.

I'm getting vibes but I'm not thinking affair. Reading this back it sounds paranoid I know but something feels off about it. Any advice (short of seeing a shrink)?!

OP posts:
Pineappleskies · 27/09/2022 22:08

I'm confused....you say today there's nothing suspicious because he has no unaccounted time and isn't going anywhere new

But didn't this thread start with the suspicion that the dog walker was coming to your house while you were at work??

Have I missed something?

MsDogLady · 28/09/2022 06:47

@masinfortunelli, there have indeed been changes and transgressions.

(1) He joined a dating site intending to either meet women or look for this particular OW. You even saw message notifications.
(2) He is keeping intimate secrets from you.
(3) He and OW have secrets together.

He lied by omission when you and he ‘met’ OW, and she saw that. They’d already had contact, and she was over-familiar with him while blanking you. They either connected on the dating site or he searched for her profile after connecting with her elsewhere. She is now walking toward your house as you leave early for work. There is a good chance that they are spending time together in your home/garden on those days, and also meeting up during dog walks. They could also be meeting during their lunchtime or if they leave work early, etc. Does he ever leave the house without you during weekends?

Lying to you, fooling you in front of OW, joining the dating site and exchanging messages, OW making a bee line toward your house in time for your
departure — something illicit is going on.

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/09/2022 06:52

What the fuck?!?!? Seriously, it's a woman walking her dog!
Hidden spy cameras!?! God almighty, if someone I was with decided to instal one of those based on absolutely bugger all I would immediately leave. Do you not trust your DH?! Well clearly not.
Is there more to this?

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/09/2022 06:53

Ah fuck. Should probably read everything... sorry OP.
Tbh it could still be nothing related at all. But I'd be leaving him for the dating app anyway.

Cheminaufaules · 28/09/2022 09:31

Agree with @MsDogLady something illicit is going on. Yet this is unusual. What of the chances of signing up to a dating app and finding a local woman so quickly that he deletes his dating profile? Pretty unlikely I'd have thought? Did he sign up after learning that this woman was already on there?

Why does this woman ignore the OP and yet blatantly place herself near the house? Could it be some sort of taunting or gameplay? Really odd!

LuckyLil · 28/09/2022 16:59

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/09/2022 06:52

What the fuck?!?!? Seriously, it's a woman walking her dog!
Hidden spy cameras!?! God almighty, if someone I was with decided to instal one of those based on absolutely bugger all I would immediately leave. Do you not trust your DH?! Well clearly not.
Is there more to this?

Perhaps try reading the whole thread...

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/09/2022 17:30

@LuckyLil perhaps try reading my post directly underneath it where I apologised to the OP for posting without reading the whole thread...

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