Why are women 35+ disliked so much?

[TheP0]

Hi this is not an inflammatory question. i want some perspective. Mean no offence to anyone.

society deems women over 35 as unattractive, not fertile, unwanted women, women who get no male interest etc and men most likely just like younger women cos they are hardwired for it and wont see you or want you the same way. Theres no chance for you if 35+ etc. For men it's not a problem if they 35+

How do women over 35 accept this? Is it just a fad that society promotes or is it real?

if I was online dating one of the first things I’d do is check his age limits . If he wants an 18 or 25 yr
olf and he’s 40 that’s a huge red flag .. yuk

If it’s any consolation, it is absolutely not true that men in general have all the power and “all they have to do” is ask out someone their own age or might stand a chance with in real life. Research refutes this. It’s truer to say a small minority of men, with very eligible qualities, have all the power. As crass as it sounds, one eligible “player” can date many women simultaneously, like OLD is a personal harem and generally aren’t as choosy if they’re prioritising a quantity of casual FWBs over a serious relationship. The more average guys, however, can get overlooked as a consequence. Add to which, it’s still expected men make the first move - so taking consecutive rejections on the chin is expected.

To be honest though, the main OLD sites just remind me of people who went “on the pull” at bars/nightclubs in my youth, before OLD existed. In both cases, the ones with more noticeable, eligible attributes stand out and get the pick - whether that be looks, height, confidence or extrovert charisma. Neither are a format where you can fall for someone whilst getting to know them (flashbacks to trying to hold a conversation whilst loud music blares in the background!!)

I did meet my current partner on OLD, but it was on one of the more niche sites catering for a specific interest as opposed to the “big” platforms. I gave up quickly on Tinder, PoF and the like.

This thread is ridiculous. I'm nearly 33 and do I think to myself I've only got another 2 years to go and then I'm 'past it'? Of course not!

And women are generally having babies later and later so the fertility comment doesn't make any sense to me either.

@TossACoinToYerWitcher but didn’t you also say your partner is younger ?

also I do think their some truth in a ‘too group ‘ of men being able to attract whom ever they want however the ATTITUDE of most men nowadays is that they too can be like this and it filters down into how they treat women . The crazy amount of hard core online porn , the social media etc sends the message to men constantly that no matter how little care they take of themselves or what they have to offer they DESERVE the hot babe … which in most mens minds is a woman younger than them

i think the OP makes a definate point but I’d argue it’s more women over 50 who are treated this way
I note that some women have said this thread is ‘silly ‘ or ridiculous but then say they are early thirties . I’d be very interested to hear what those same women have to say in fifteen years .

i also agree with those who say women who are older and appear confident cop or far worse . Many men seem fine to ignore ‘ older women who fit into their narrow ideas of what an older woman should be … grannies , knitting or strolling along in old fashioned clothes with grey hairs are unlikely to cop the ‘who let the dogs out as the confident older woman who’s dressed up hair dyed etc ‘ . Sure , any of us can be on the receiving end but I do think women who don t conform to ‘fading away and finding other ways to serve men like baking , watching grandkids being a nice little old lady ‘ because your no longer reproductively viable are more likely to be on the receiving end
it’s like many men simply have to slot women into catagories … Madonna , whore , teen , granny , mum, nice old lady , she’s up for anything etc … many seem incapable of seeing us as anything other than objects that serve mens needs in some way
no one will ever convince me the heavy availability and use of internet porn and the way it labels and catalogues women down to the last details of their ‘roles’ and body parts doesn’t contribute to this and it’s getting worse

I always see people say this and I don't actually think it's true. My mum is nearly 60 (she still looks great) and when I go out with her men hit on her all the time. Some were even around my age (30).

I'm also friends with some guys at work in their 20s and they've confessed crushes on older successful women we work with in their 50s and 60s.

I think it's like the media saying all men like women with big boobs and all women like men who earn a lot - it's a bit of a stereotype and in reality everyone fancies people of all shapes, ages and sizes.

My great granny even had one man propose to her in her nineties... (She turned him down!)

Oh well, if social media says, it must be true..

@TheP0 I don't agree with anything you have said. The entire premise - it's just such a poor generalisation - of course you will find a percentage of men and women that will agree with your view - the same would be true if someone said men generally prefer slim ginger haired women women over 6ft. TBH - if I look at the women I have known over the last 20-30 years - the most attractive(* - not looks alone!) women I know or have known have, in the vast majority of cases, all been over 35.

Where have you got this decidedly unbalanced view from - why do you think this way - I find it very odd.

Of course one can sit back and say of course social media is rubbish but the reality is that many many people are influenced and impacted by social media … any media in fact . That’s why the advertising spend millions on putting the images the ant in front of people
When advertising, propaganda , images art worlds etc had a long history of working very very well on a large proportion of the population why would you think social media is any different ..

I’m not sure what Particular things you are referring to that PO said but are you saying you don’t agree that the majority of men prefer younger women
if so the research says you’re wrong

@Ladylovesbooks but didn’t you also say your partner is younger?

What's that got to do with men having "all the power" in OLD??

For what it's worth, I dated and conversed with quite a few women on dating sites before I met her. Most were a similar age to me. Some were a few years older than me. All thought I was a decent enough bloke, but there was no chemistry so they didn't want to take things further. My current partner may be younger, but she was literally the first women I've dated in three years (admittedly, sporadically!) where we both felt chemistry and decided to take things further. She had plenty of offers prior to me, which - bar a couple - she chose to decline.

I would have quite happily taken things further with some of the older women I dated - however they (as is their right) decided they didn't want to. So, how does that translate as me having all the power, just because the one who did turned out to be younger?

tes I hear you , my point being that it can come across as disingenuous to women when men tell women it’s their experiences of men preferring younger women is not accurate only to go on to say they ultimately found someone younger to be ‘a better match for them ‘
I’m not of course saying that it can’t be the case … people, both men and women , DO date those younger people however it seems men are quick to tell women men don’t prefer younger women only to choose younger women!
the ones who are usually the ones with the double standards tend to get very defensive when asked … which I’m sure you’re not

the ‘chemistry’ for men 90% of the time seems to be with the younger women strangely enough, yet for women it seems the chemistry can be with someone the same age , older or younger…. Not heavily swayed with younger …
many many men will say it’s biology, or give a multitudes of reasons , even just ‘ chemistry ‘ then in the same breath deny to older women that their experiences are real, i think that’s where the frustration lats for the women who do experience this … not that all see it , but by 50 I’d say the majority do notice it . I’m not saying there arnt cases where the man didn’t specifically choose because they were younger just that this happens very very often and men often sideline and negate womens experiences

my point being that it can come across as disingenuous to women when men tell women it’s their experiences of men preferring younger women is not accurate

I wasn't saying that though - I was arguing against the point that men in general have all the power on OLD. I feel a highly eligible minority do, but not men in general. Might they want younger women? Maybe. But they have no power to make it happen - they're completely impotent, no matter what they might wish otherwise.

Yes I don’t disagree that many who want younger can’t get it and that a few may be able to date whom they want
I think the issue is why they seem to want it so much . If they had the ability that’s what they would choose and many older women are acutely aware of this . Some of us don’t want to feel like second choice and be with a guy who can’t keep his eyes of younger women dreaming about what he really wants . I don’t this this is so much an issue at 35 like the OP says but more of an issue at 50 when many men our age seem to WANT 35 year olds

I don't agree with you OP. One of my friends is late 50s and honestly, men just flock towards her on a night out - she's got a good 15 years on the rest of our group.

She's a beautiful person, inside and out but I wouldn't say she was particularly flirty - infact she can be quite stand-offish towards men, but still regularly gets approached from ages 30 upwards. She most certainly isn't invisible and clearly isn't undesirable. Maybe it's just an OLD thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Okay firstly let me apologize. I don't think i worded my original post well enough. I am sorry to anyone i offended and i am not torching all women over 35 with the same brush or meant anything negative.

I think you should let me explain what i mean. I mean women that probably want children and over 35 years of age probably start to feel like they have this issue where men do not want to date them cos of their age and fertility decline. They may or may not start blaming their attractiveness too. And therefore they feel like they have no options but to settle or let it pass. This does not include sperm donors. So much on OLD has been about womens age. see and read it online always. So my post was about that in particular as some people did gather. Also, all over internet it's always saying its difficult to have conceive after mid30s as fertility starts plummeting. So the women who want kids and over that age might feel lost etc.

Then there's always posts saying women over 35 are on a shelf or in a wilderness.

And secondly I'm not a journalist and i myself am very old!

Why isn't this a more pragmatic choice for some? People don't want to lonely, so they take what they can get and convince themselves itsy "love"

@Ladylovesbooks @TossACoinToYerWitcher

I read an article saying that the top 20% of men on OLD are the ones going on all the dates. The other 80% get ignored (hence all the angry profiles). Men are less picky if they are only looking for casual. So the top 20% of men are dating the top 80% of women but doing it in a casual / player way. Hence women saying they only meet players on OLD.

Yes I’d agree with that. Men complaining they can’t get a woman OR very often the type of woman they want and yes men will date them top 80% but many of them would rather be dating the top 10 and are just using the other 70 because that’s what they can get !
i know several older women who are dating men their age and have been ditched the minute they had a chance with a younger woman …

Orrrrr they take what they can get and use them whilst still looking for someone else .

I'm really sorry that happened to you. WTAF is wrong with people?

I wonder how much the #metoo movement has empowered some women who were feeling voiceless? More women are maybe now seeing themselves as the equals they are and therefore stopped giving a fuck about what men/women think about them sexually anymore?
For me now at my age (definitely over 35) if a man is seeing me naked he's one lucky bastard! My bullshit radar is much more sensitive now and I no longer feel like I have to be nice because it's expected. (Upbringing was fucked up)
The sense of achievement at ending it with a FWB because he stepped over my limits was immense. Delete and block.
BTW, he was 14 years my junior..... definitely not invisible 😉

Why is a man 'one lucky bastard' if he sees you naked? It sounds like you see your body as a prize to be won which is probably a sure fire way to attract a dickhead.

@Lpc3 , why would you jump to the conclusion she’s referring to her body what makes him lucky … that sounds like the typical male attitude of ‘ all women have to offer is their bodies ‘ so she must be referring to that
let me guess ……from your comment you are a man?
there’s a lot more to women that would make a man lucky to be naked with her than her body you know . Believe it or not women are complex being with actually characteristics and personalities
I would imagine he’s lucky to have her in his life and her trust hun enough to be vulnerable and naked … considering the crappy entitled attitude of so many men today .

@lpc3 oh yep I see from your other posts you are a make … so funny how I could pick that so easily by your assumptions that a woman daring to say a man would be lucky to be with her naked must be treating her body like a prize and is responsible for ‘ attracting dickheads’