Why are women 35+ disliked so much?

[TheP0]

Hi this is not an inflammatory question. i want some perspective. Mean no offence to anyone.

society deems women over 35 as unattractive, not fertile, unwanted women, women who get no male interest etc and men most likely just like younger women cos they are hardwired for it and wont see you or want you the same way. Theres no chance for you if 35+ etc. For men it's not a problem if they 35+

How do women over 35 accept this? Is it just a fad that society promotes or is it real?

Really? I have never heard this before. I would do a bit more fact checking op.

This is such an outdated view. Men love older women apart from ones who want an impressionable younger model.

Your OP is sexist and offensive to all women. I strongly suspect these are views you hold, rather than this nebulous “society” you blame. I’d invite you to think deeply about why YOU consider women over 35 “unwanted” and “unattractive”.

What ofHardy said Well I'm 38 and a fucking stunner so less of the unattractive and unwanted and more of the highly fuckable ta very much

100% this! 35 and no clue what your talking about… feel sorry for you if this is how you feel your perceived. I’m not being swept into your category thank you very much! Really it depends on how you much you want to fade into the background if you don’t want to then don’t.

I’m 52 and I’m dating 49 yr old, and she is good looking, confident, self assured, funny, and turns out, great in bed.
so not sure who you are asking.

Op this is totally not true. I'm over 35 and I have had loads of interest from men of all ages especially younger men both in online dating and real life. I'm also being taken more seriously at work.

Some defensive responses here claiming never to have heard this view. Weird because it definitely exists.

I do think that younger women worry about it more than older women do. The reality of being over 35 is nothing like as bad as you might expect. Mainly because your priorities change. That’s if you are lucky enough to be happy with where you are in terms of children, relationships - I know that for women who are still trying to meet someone or have children it can be difficult.

I think that “society” assumes that women want to remain young forever and be the ingenue heroine like in the movies. Some women do - and they’ll be disappointed. Just like some men still hope to play for Arsenal and date twenty-one year olds and those men will be disappointed too.

But most women (and men) move on to the next stage - becoming parents, leaders, teachers, experts. Focusing on the world around them rather than on themselves. If you have this mentality you will be very much needed in the world.

I often think of Margaret Mountford in The Apprentice and how much genuine and huge respect the very young and arrogant male contestants had for her. She had ticked the “under-35” box years ago and very firmly moved on.

This isn't true at all! Loads of women are having kids into their mid 40s now. With willing partners!

I also know if a few couples where the woman is significantly older.

Sorry - don't agree this is a problem, unless your source are 20 year olds. Speak to 30-60 year olds and I think you'll find 35+ women are very much still desired.

I'm almost 35 and regularly still referred to as young.

And today’s journalist asks a question that is better asked to men….

Depressing that so many of the responses are along the lines of “well I’m over 35 and lots of men are still interested in me”. As if that’s the only way to validate yourselves at over 35!

How do women over 35 accept this?

I was never very attractive to men even when I was in my 20s, so I noticed no difference. As I have aged (now in late 40s) I've received less negative attention from men (strangers calling me 'ugly' in the street) which is obviously a good thing.

I've never defined myself by my looks. Attractive women under 35 don't have to define themselves by their looks either. Unless your sense of self-esteem rests on how attractive you are to men - a certain type of man at that because they are not all looking for stunning 20 year olds - you have no reason to fear ageing.

Op you seem a bit preoccupied with what men think. I don't give a shit what men think

I think OLD 35+ is a particularly painful example of how the desire for children skews dating. Men who want children are keen to date women under 35 for that reason. Men who don’t want children fear that every woman 35+ is desperate for them.

I don’t think that shows that people generally find women over 35 unattractive. Even taking quite a shallow and looks-based approach to what constitutes attractiveness, there are countless gorgeous women over 35.

Men cam barely age woman

I am 35 and some guy last weekend genuinely approached me thinking I was the same age as him (my friend knew him from
OLD and he was 24)

He thought I was the same age as him - so men in real life do not care and cannot tell what age a woman is

The only men I have spoken to from OLD who felt appropriate to mention my age were entirely undesirable - IE late thirties guys whose ex girlfriend is 22. He told me 'younger woman are just more attractive'. Fair enough but why swipe on me aged 33 and bother meeting me for a drink? Just weird and insecure? These type on OLD also think you are desperate for children and marriage at 35+ so think its funny to dangle that carrot.

Where is your evidence that loads of women are having children in their 40s? It's certainly not what the NHS says, and a few anecdotal stories don't make it a fact or evidence. High miscarriage rate due to poor egg quality is rife for women I'm this age group. Stop pedalling nonsense.

I mean I still get as much attention off men as I ever did this is not always attention I want I should add

however if I was looking to meet someone which I’m not , I do feel it’s slim pickings for meeting anyone half decent who wants an actual relationship in my opinion

online dating is horrific

This. I have much more respect and autonomy at work now that at any earlier point in my career.

I actually find being invisible to neanderthals in the street is a bonus of being over 40, too, and would hate to have the "attention" I had in my 20s. I have such a low opinion of men, that the less I have to do with them outside work the better and I couldn't care less what they think. The kind of man who only wants to fuck young women is the very last specimen you should be hoping to attract for yourself.

I don't think she's ''ridiculous'' I think she's internalised a very sexist patriarchal view of women which is really sad. It's almost like she believes that if a woman isn't fuckable she's taking up space. Some men (incels?) do believe this and they are usually taking up space in somebody's basement.

Has OP said what age she is? In my last job, my line manager was 18 years younger than me and terrified of ageing. I once said to her ''it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. As well as a few lines, you accumulate the perspective to deal with ageing as you go along'' and she looked doubtful. I was sympathetic because I remember worrying so much about losing my looks when I was young. Which was ridiculous as my self-esteem was in the gutter. All ''looks'' ever got me was a good looking abusive x.

At some point with luck you realise that men don't decide what you can do and what you can't do. What do you want to do @TheP0 ? What do you enjoy doing?

What on this list can men impede or prevent??

Think about that and then relax about ageing.

I'm mid 50s & get compliments on my figure fairly frequently. From (barely met them) men AND women, btw. Not feeling 'dislike' on my looks from society, tbh.

Young pretty trim men get more attention than old fat ones, too. That's human nature. I was stunned by a handsome lad who said hello to me other day (on the street). Maybe he had myopia. Or mistook me for someone he knows. Or is on a spectrum where he says hello to strangers. I'm old enough to be his gran. But GOSH, he was a pretty boy. Oh to be 15 again... I swear such eye-candy never said hello to me when I was actually 15 (!)

@Musttryharder2021
Ffs i work in health care (specifically womans healfn / sexual healfh) 11 years expierence
We have loads of woman who concieve 43/46

The evidence that woman are unable to concieve past the age of 30 was some french study in the 1900s

Also male fertility declines past 35 but the patriachy doesnt want us to talk about that. Take into account many men have absorbed that 'they age like fine wine' so do nothing to look after themselves their health tends to be worse - especially if they are single and do not have 'a mrs' to ensure they perform basical hygiene and health essentials.

I think it's a bit premature to say you enjoy ageing at 39!
You're obviously still in good health and not had any physical problems with it yet, but they will come whether it's just not being able to go out as much as you want in your 40s or the inevitable decline in old age.

I was quite cute in my younger days, and had loads of boyfriends. Plenty of male attention, as I was attractive & liked to have fun.

Met my husband at age 36. Still looked nice, but he liked my personality too. We clicked. It was my first serious relationship.

That's the topic of the OP though. She may be a single woman who wants to meet a man so it's relevant.

This

The OP is so obviously a journalist or undertaking some other type of research.

I did - at 40, with a mummy tummy and a child in tow. Am now engaged to be married to a drop dead gorgeous, wonderful man the same age as me, who had set search age limits from five years below to ten years above his own age. And he fucks me avidly every day, so seems to have no problem desiring me!

Checking men's age limits on OLD is a great way to filter out twats. Not every man is a wanker. Intelligent ones find empowered, experienced women a huge turn on!