Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?

[Excuses5000]

I've NC for this as it's embarrassing.

So my partner works nights in a manual labour job and always has done. Tonight before he left he bent down to give our DD a kiss goodnight and I noticed he was wearing certain underwear.

He only ever wears that underwear when sex is on the cards. He bought it entirely for my benefit or so I thought. It doesn't do much for me to be honest as I'm not particularly into extravagant pants but there we go.

They're not 'everyday' boxers and definitely not the sort of thing you'd want on display to your colleagues which would definitely be the case as there's alot of bending and lifting in his job. Think moving boxes etc.

It took me by surprise so I asked him why he was wearing his "sexy" underwear to work. He said "I'm not" to which I replied that I'd just seen them.

He was tripping over himself to explain how its because they're comfortable and airy. He sweats alot at work and gets hot. He then went on to say that he had put a towel in his bag aswell to use to wipe his head and face when he gets too hot.

Based on my OP alone would you find it suspicious?

[Hiddenvoice]

This is so upsetting. I’d never be able to keep my cool with this so you’re doing amazingly.
would you be tempted to phone him on his break or just see if he contacts you?

[925XX]

Does he normally text you with "Hey Beautiful" when asking if you want some baby milk picking up?

[geojellyfish]

Who does the laundry in your household? If he's been wearing the same style all week, presumably the pants are in the laundry basket or been washed?

[MaxOverTheMoon]

Did he put them on to feel nice about himself and then felt like he couldn't tell you that and dug himself into a hole?

If a bloke mentioned to me that I was wearing my favourite confidence boosting pants and got suspicious over it I wouldn't be very impressed.

[Excuses5000]

I have just sent a message saying it seemed odd to me and can he send me a picture of himself at work. I'll report back with his response.

I'm not sure a photo would even satisfy my concerns now to be honest he could easily be doing god knows what with somebody on his breaks.

[BungleandGeorge]

@Mango101

Surely men and women cheat to the same extent or the maths doesn't work :)

Not really as there’s a lot of single people to take into account too!

[SkankingWombat]

@geojellyfish

Who does the laundry in your household? If he's been wearing the same style all week, presumably the pants are in the laundry basket or been washed?

That was exactly my thought too. I'd be rummaging through the wash basket.

[Johnnysgirl]

@MaxOverTheMoon

Did he put them on to feel nice about himself and then felt like he couldn't tell you that and dug himself into a hole?

If a bloke mentioned to me that I was wearing my favourite confidence boosting pants and got suspicious over it I wouldn't be very impressed.

He's going to work a night shift. He doesn't need confidence boosting pants

[TiredYorkshireMam]

I'm so sorry. It doesn't look good.

The fact he asked if you want him to bring back baby milk / nappies when he doesn't usually rang alarm bells for me.

He wants to bring them back as they are "proof" that he's been at work.

[Excuses5000]

@925XX

Does he normally text you with "Hey Beautiful" when asking if you want some baby milk picking up?

Nope.

If we ever need anything picking up I let him know before he leaves. He has never text me so quickly after leaving, for any reason.

In trying to cover his arse he's just making himself look more guilty.

[925XX]

@TiredYorkshireMam

I'm so sorry. It doesn't look good.

The fact he asked if you want him to bring back baby milk / nappies when he doesn't usually rang alarm bells for me.

He wants to bring them back as they are "proof" that he's been at work.

No not proof of being at work, its a message testing the waters.

[InFiveMins]

I agree he's trying to cover his arse. How quickly does he normally reply to your messages? Just thinking if he takes too long it could be that he's near to his workplace and can just go in briefly, is that possible?

[Excuses5000]

@geojellyfish

Who does the laundry in your household? If he's been wearing the same style all week, presumably the pants are in the laundry basket or been washed?

It's about a 50/50 split.

I did two loads today (one load he put in himself ready to be washed) and there were some of these boxers in there as I distinctly remember thinking that I'm not putting them outside on the clothes horse.

No others in the wash basket but then it's almost empty now.

[NoNoNoooo]

@geojellyfish

Who does the laundry in your household? If he's been wearing the same style all week, presumably the pants are in the laundry basket or been washed?

This. Check the dirty washing.

[BobDear]

I;m not sure if I'd be satisfied with a selfie from work - OW could be a work colleague or he might be doing a shorter shift and meeting her afterwards.

I think in your shoes I'd let him think he'd convinced you all was well then check his phone - ideally without him knowing. I hate to suggest checking phones but as he has form for cheating means he has relinquished his right to be self-righteous about you feeling suspicious I think.

[MaxOverTheMoon]

Sometimes I like wearing my favourite pants for no other reason than they bring my a little joy. They don't boost my confidence but I feel nice putting them on.

OP everyone is telling you your dh is cheating. Imagine if he just felt like wearing his favourite pants and you've had all this drama and been fed a ton more by MN for no reason. Either you trust him or you don't. Don't let MN feed this further, posters forget it's a real marriage when they get excited on threads like this, it isn't a who dunnit, it's your relationship. Don't get caught up when there really could be an innocent explanation.

[thecatsarecrazy]

Sorry op, it does seem very suspicious. The over explaining himself. I've just had similar with someone. He was clearly online talking to someone else as he was the other night but instead of giving an innocent explanation yeah I was talking to my mate Fred. He gave a detailed version of he put his phone on the bed, put his towels away, did this that and the other. I said if that was true u wouldn't be on and off line... if u can and I know it's so difficult In these situations try and keep your cool and gather evidence and only talk face to face so u can see their reaction. Its so easy to have a knee jerk reaction and them delete everything and cover their tracks. It really pisses me off how these blokes behave. Have the world and still want more.

[Excuses5000]

@TiredYorkshireMam

I'm so sorry. It doesn't look good.

The fact he asked if you want him to bring back baby milk / nappies when he doesn't usually rang alarm bells for me.

He wants to bring them back as they are "proof" that he's been at work.

Yup, those are my thoughts exactly.

In reality it does nothing for his defence as he could easily nip into the shop on his way home in the morning.

No reply about a picture yet and he was practically glued to his phone sending his earlier messages..

[NoNoNoooo]

Sorry cross posted. So he put the sexy pants in the washing machine himself or did you?

[Plutoisaplanet]

@Aquamarine1029

Suspicious as fuck and he's panicking that you caught him out.

I doubt he went to work tonight.

This

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

He only ever wears that underwear when sex is on the cards.

Well, that's given me 'the ick' for starters.

Sorry, OP. But I'd trust your gut judgement on this. Especially if he has form for cheating before.

Get your ducks in a row, as they say, and don't put up with any crap. You and the kids come first. He can move out.

[Excuses5000]

He has just sent me three pictures of him clearly at work, looking less than impressed.

Have I got this wrong or would you still be on guard?

[MissStress]

Are they “ManViews” pants? Apparently the comfiest pant going - mesh material with a cut out arse (lol). Or a c-string?

Unless he’s planning on showing them off to his colleagues it could be suspicious… but apparently those type pants are very comfortable so could be just owning it. Also he could be getting a kick from wearing them under risky circumstances and getting off/enjoying the dirty secret?

[Excuses5000]

@MaxOverTheMoon

Sometimes I like wearing my favourite pants for no other reason than they bring my a little joy. They don't boost my confidence but I feel nice putting them on.

OP everyone is telling you your dh is cheating. Imagine if he just felt like wearing his favourite pants and you've had all this drama and been fed a ton more by MN for no reason. Either you trust him or you don't. Don't let MN feed this further, posters forget it's a real marriage when they get excited on threads like this, it isn't a who dunnit, it's your relationship. Don't get caught up when there really could be an innocent explanation.

Thank you for a measured view x

[SirVixofVixHall]

@ExplodingCarrots

@Decidualcast I didn't know they were a thing either until I saw another thread on here . If my DH appeared wearing them my nethers would glue shut .

Same. Or I would die laughing.