Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?

[Excuses5000]

I've NC for this as it's embarrassing.

So my partner works nights in a manual labour job and always has done. Tonight before he left he bent down to give our DD a kiss goodnight and I noticed he was wearing certain underwear.

He only ever wears that underwear when sex is on the cards. He bought it entirely for my benefit or so I thought. It doesn't do much for me to be honest as I'm not particularly into extravagant pants but there we go.

They're not 'everyday' boxers and definitely not the sort of thing you'd want on display to your colleagues which would definitely be the case as there's alot of bending and lifting in his job. Think moving boxes etc.

It took me by surprise so I asked him why he was wearing his "sexy" underwear to work. He said "I'm not" to which I replied that I'd just seen them.

He was tripping over himself to explain how its because they're comfortable and airy. He sweats alot at work and gets hot. He then went on to say that he had put a towel in his bag aswell to use to wipe his head and face when he gets too hot.

Based on my OP alone would you find it suspicious?

I’d be suspicious too, but also wary of showing my cards too soon and giving him time to cover his tracks.

If you feel like you need more proof, and remember you don’t need it - if you’re unhappy you can leave, you need to play the long game.

can you access his phone? Online banking? I would pretend all was fine and do some digging in the background x

He has cheated on me in the past.

And there it is. I'm sorry, op, once a cheat always a cheat.

😣 I always say trust your gut - it’s usually never wrong. But I hope this time it is. X

Don't answer his texts and see if he gets more panicky. Sorry your having to put up with this from him.

I've just thought of something else.

So he had his older DC today and took them back quite late (8pm when he starts work at 10pm)

Usually after having his DC his boss is okay with him starting a little later, so 10.30 - 11.00.

After taking his DC back to their mums he always grabs a quick hours sleep before he goes to work.

Tonight I asked him if he has spoken to work about starting a little later and he said "no not yet" and he didn't go for his usual nap either.

I said he's crazy he'll be knackered and he said nah he'll be ok, getting an hours sleep now would only make him more tired. So he got a shower and left at about 9.45.

That is out of the ordinary aswell. He ALWAYS wants that top up hour of sleep.

Gat him to phone you on his break. Then ask.him whilst on the phone to send you his location.on WhatsApp or whatever

I’d be sticking the kids in the car and going to see if he’s there!

Sorry OP, it all sounds very suspicious and he's done it before too

Really hope their is an innocent explanation for you 💐

Me too. This might be your only shot to really know. How old are DC?

Like others have said. He has form. Don't ignore your gut instinct and you don't need actual proof either. I understand why you'd feel you do
though as I did the same with my EXH. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's horrendous 😞

My husband has similar underwear, pairs he would never wear anywhere else but in our bedroom !

If i saw them under his work trousers I'd know instantly he was up to no good. No need.

Coupled with the over explaining and the text, I'm sorry OP but i think your gut feeling is spot on and he has been caught out, the idiot.

Any other signs??

Can you send him a sandwich in a taxi with a note saying "sorry" just in case he is there? Ask the taxi driver to only deliver to him.

Yes definitely suspicious.

Just the pants, not so much, but the flustered explanation and subsequent texting, not a good sign...

I want to get him to call me on his break, but I'm also thinking that I shouldn't spook him too much as it could lead to him hiding all evidence.

He has just text again. Bare with me I'll post a screenshot if It let's me.

Basically he's saying he has been wearing pants like that throughout the week which I don't believe at all. He has a couple of different colours but I absolutely would have noticed.

Picture attached.

I've given him no reason to think anything is 'wrong' at all, barring asking why he's wearing that underwear to work.

I didn't respond to his text about milk and nappies for, what, 20 minutes or so and that then caused him to follow up.

He's definitely up to something isn't he.

I'm really sorry but I think he sounds guilty. I hope I'm wrong

Too much explaining when you only briefly mentioned his pants once.

He protests too much.

I would get in the car its the only way you will know for sure.

Those pants are actual sex pants. They’re see through, unsupportive and the material is probably quite nylonny and sweaty. Not comfortable.

for me the equivalent would be stockings and suspenders. They’re uncomfortable and not for every day wear. I wear them in the bedroom and very occasionally for date night if I know we won’t be out too liIf my DP saw me heading out to work with them under my uniform, he’d definitely have a raised eyebrow and a few questions.

Sorry love, I hope I’m wrong.

So what’s the towel for? An extra shower when he’s already had one? Hmm yes I’d be suspicious.

He's quite a few pairs to be wearing them that often unless you wash all his pants every day!

Are you thinking he is with someone at work or that he hasn’t gone to work at all?

Reception age and a baby. Both are fast asleep and I don't drive so I couldn't just nip down there I'd have to get a taxi or bus and my eldest would raise merry hell.

As he was leaving I said "so you'll be at work all night will you" and he said of course he would be. I wanted to make him wonder whether I would check iykwim.

He's coming across as very spooked for somebody who hasn't done anything or has no plans to.