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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?

396 replies

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 22:14

I've NC for this as it's embarrassing.

So my partner works nights in a manual labour job and always has done. Tonight before he left he bent down to give our DD a kiss goodnight and I noticed he was wearing certain underwear.

He only ever wears that underwear when sex is on the cards. He bought it entirely for my benefit or so I thought. It doesn't do much for me to be honest as I'm not particularly into extravagant pants but there we go.

They're not 'everyday' boxers and definitely not the sort of thing you'd want on display to your colleagues which would definitely be the case as there's alot of bending and lifting in his job. Think moving boxes etc.

It took me by surprise so I asked him why he was wearing his "sexy" underwear to work. He said "I'm not" to which I replied that I'd just seen them.

He was tripping over himself to explain how its because they're comfortable and airy. He sweats alot at work and gets hot. He then went on to say that he had put a towel in his bag aswell to use to wipe his head and face when he gets too hot.

Based on my OP alone would you find it suspicious?

OP posts:
Tinkerblonde1 · 04/08/2022 23:43

Check the date stamp on the photos.

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:45

NoNoNoooo · 04/08/2022 23:36

Sorry cross posted. So he put the sexy pants in the washing machine himself or did you?

I assume he did as I don't recall seeing them when I was putting my load of washing in, but I can't be one hundred percent certain as they could have been folded in with something else.

I do know for certain that some got washed as I put them on a rack in the bedroom to dry as opposed to outside. Those ones are still here.

OP posts:
Strulch · 04/08/2022 23:45

Can you find out who he was working with tonight? Do you know any of his work colleagues or their partners?

SouperNoodle · 04/08/2022 23:45

The reasons he's giving for wearing them could be legitimate but what gets me thinking he's up to something is when you first mentioned them, he lied and said he wasn't and then mentioned the towel.
Either it's totally innocent and he just likes it airy or somethings up

Elsiid · 04/08/2022 23:46

I would speak to him properly not just assume 100% guilty

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:47

Tinkerblonde1 · 04/08/2022 23:43

Check the date stamp on the photos.

How do I do that?

He sent them through Gmail. I've saved one but can't see an option to check the date?

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 04/08/2022 23:47

Do you have access to a car? Stick child in it. Do a driveby of work. Look for his car.

BungleandGeorge · 04/08/2022 23:47

It’s the lying about wearing them and the uncharacteristic texts afterwards that would worry me. Tbh I would personally never ignore that deep instinct that someone is cheating because it’s always turned out to be the case for me. People having affairs can be incredibly crafty id have to do more digging if it was me

OldFan · 04/08/2022 23:49

Sounds very dodgy @Excuses5000 . The towel thing was mentioned in case you happened to find it.

The leaving for work early sounds like he wanted to snatch some time with an OW.

CornishTiger · 04/08/2022 23:49

He met her before work.

Strulch · 04/08/2022 23:50

Did you say he works in a supermarket warehouse? Is there a Facebook group for his work you could look at to see if the other woman has liked any posts and they are back working together?

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:50

I know one of his colleagues as we all used to work together many years ago but I've long since lost touch with him and I'm not sure how an out of the blue message to him would be received.

I also don't know whether he's at work tonight as they don't have the same shifts all week.

He drives but I don't. No way of me going there without unsettling the kids and taking them in a taxi or on a bus. I wouldn't want to walk there it's not a great area.

OP posts:
Tinkerblonde1 · 04/08/2022 23:50

Not sure but if I save photos on my iPhone and look underneath them it shows the time taken and location.

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:52

Strulch · 04/08/2022 23:50

Did you say he works in a supermarket warehouse? Is there a Facebook group for his work you could look at to see if the other woman has liked any posts and they are back working together?

He does yes, it's one of the big ones open all night.

I'll have a look on FB and see if there's a group for this branch.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 04/08/2022 23:53

So no way of you checking up.

so iPhone location off. Do you share an iPad. Check his Google timeline.

Canabelievethis · 04/08/2022 23:54

Even with pics he could be cheating with someone at work. Was he in work uniform? How far is work from you?

Has he been coming home at regular times? Can you count them to see if they tally?
Has he been acting strangely such as argumentative, overly helpful, on his phone more? Do you have access to his phone?

I would play cool for now and excuse your suspicions away due to him wearing the pants only.

Can you organise a babysitter and go to work one night?

Think about putting a magnetic voice recorder and vehicle tracker in your car secretly. I caught mine this way.

Keep calm OP and put plans in place. Living with doubts eats away at you.

CornishTiger · 04/08/2022 23:54

Click on picture icon. This comes up.

then timeline.

Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?
Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:54

Tinkerblonde1 · 04/08/2022 23:50

Not sure but if I save photos on my iPhone and look underneath them it shows the time taken and location.

This is what comes up under 'Details'

The internal storage/download will be me saving the image from the email

Why would he be wearing his 'sexy' underwear to work?
OP posts:
EntertainingandFactual · 04/08/2022 23:54

BigFatLiar · 04/08/2022 22:33

I think it's another term for clean.

I was thinking the same! Definitely just clean!

Excuses5000 · 04/08/2022 23:55

He has just sent me 6 more pictures from inside the warehouse showing the delivery etc

OP posts:
EntertainingandFactual · 04/08/2022 23:58

ExplodingCarrots · 04/08/2022 22:37

For everyone asking . I think these are what he has . I'm on the app so apologies if you can't see the picture. OP is right ..not something for everyday wear .

Oh! Not nice...
That aside, he might be telling the truth & just like the feel of them 🤔

oakleaffy · 04/08/2022 23:58

@Excuses5000
If your Husband has had an affair before, he has “ Form” for this sort of thing.
It is very difficult to know if someone is definitely having an affair again, and on here women nearly always say “ He’s having an affair!
Leave the Bastard!”

Maybe he likes wearing these flimsy pants 🩲 to turn himself on??
I know coppers pulled over a male HGV driver once who was in women’s underwear and suspenders-

So men clearly do get a kick out of certain types underwear.
I hope he isn’t being an arse and playing away.

TugboatAnnie · 04/08/2022 23:59

Bit of an overkill on the photos! Interesting how they took so long to come through....

Zeduk · 04/08/2022 23:59

Hmm hard to know what to think to be honest, it would set me on edge. Could it be a thing he does alone ? (One of my friends found out her boyfriend used to go out and about in her underwear…)

do you have any friends who can drive over and check for you? (I have to confess I have done this for a friend before!)

smine1 · 05/08/2022 00:00

If it were me ... sit on the fence with this , keep your eyes open , but mouth quiet.. if he's up to no good he will cover his tracks but if you can say no more, but be on high alert. If he is, he will trip. The only thing I was wondering on the text message shot it said * New has he recently got a new phone ?

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